Chad Read
banner
squirrel74wkgn.bsky.social
Chad Read
@squirrel74wkgn.bsky.social
The winning family on America’s Funniest Home Videos always look like they just came from a Sear’s Portrait Studio.
October 20, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Get those goddamn black jelly beans out of my face you weirdo.
April 20, 2025 at 11:39 PM
The game Operation…except it’s me using my fingers to grab a piece of food that fell underneath the hot stovetop grates.
March 30, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I just figured out the timer on my coffee maker...so if anyone wants to come over for coffee at 11pm next Thursday, I’ll see you then.
February 23, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
Souvenirs are like "here, please remember my vacation that I took without you"
February 23, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Reposted by Chad Read
- On your CV it says that your wife helps you with everything.
- Is that what she wrote?
February 23, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Reposted by Chad Read
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Random Reply Guys.
February 21, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
Whatever snack my kid doesn't finish in her lunchbox, I just leave in there.

By Friday, she's got a Golden Corral style buffet.
February 21, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
I bought the cheap catfood and my cat gave me the ''I'm not sad, I'm disappointed'' look
February 22, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
Clearly you can’t trust a Tesla when it comes to pulling out.
February 16, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Reposted by Chad Read
I feel like we don’t talk enough about how underrated the feeling of wearing a new pair of socks is.
February 22, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Reposted by Chad Read
Who up Benedicting their eggs.
February 23, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
as far back as i can remember i always wanted to be a disaster
February 12, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
I don't know which insurance company to use. They're all so funny.
March 5, 2024 at 7:53 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
when I’m on my deathbed I hope all the cats of my life come visit me like angels
February 10, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Reposted by Chad Read
My daughter just asked for nunchucks for her birthday and I have to say I’m 50% proud, 30% amused, and 100% terrified.
January 8, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
•speed dating•

I’d smell your farts.
February 23, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Reposted by Chad Read
Looking forward to the ultimate weighted blanket, six feet of dirt piled on top of me.
February 23, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
Sorry I said your boyfriend looks like Baron Harkonnen. It was childish & wrong. He's floating right behind me, isn't he?
January 20, 2024 at 4:35 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.
February 18, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
for the potato fears not death
December 31, 2024 at 1:55 PM
Reposted by Chad Read
Fitbit is still counting the steps of my downward spiral.
February 20, 2025 at 9:58 AM