@frankchips.bsky.social
sheesh kebab, geez fries, yikes salad
please hold https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:u7gavvi7t5cn2d34wtkgjy42/feed/aaaa322hoj6dq
please hold https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:u7gavvi7t5cn2d34wtkgjy42/feed/aaaa322hoj6dq
Pinned
Me: *throws beer* boo! play the early stuff
Cashier, refusing to serve me breakfast: sir
Cashier, refusing to serve me breakfast: sir
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One of my favorite fun facts is why the TMNT are named after artists (it’s because the type of turtle they are is a “painted turtle”). I told my nephew about this and he immediately replied that there should be a Bob Ross turtle. So rather than explain the renaissance movement to him, I-
September 22, 2025 at 11:30 PM
One of my favorite fun facts is why the TMNT are named after artists (it’s because the type of turtle they are is a “painted turtle”). I told my nephew about this and he immediately replied that there should be a Bob Ross turtle. So rather than explain the renaissance movement to him, I-
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Sorry to get political but I think we should pay people to check for poop in our food
April 20, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Sorry to get political but I think we should pay people to check for poop in our food
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Several of you are characters in my new play
March 31, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Several of you are characters in my new play
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This is about the time in my workday where I start to google how I can get paid to sell pics of my feet
March 31, 2025 at 7:19 PM
This is about the time in my workday where I start to google how I can get paid to sell pics of my feet
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I'm usually pretty chill
Except for that one time
And all those other one times
Except for that one time
And all those other one times
March 30, 2025 at 1:20 AM
I'm usually pretty chill
Except for that one time
And all those other one times
Except for that one time
And all those other one times
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I don't even background check before a date anymore just kill me
April 1, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I don't even background check before a date anymore just kill me
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there are people out there who think Blink 182 is punk music
*shudders*
*shudders*
April 2, 2025 at 1:34 AM
there are people out there who think Blink 182 is punk music
*shudders*
*shudders*
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A style guide for glowing up lying in bed avoiding life.
April 1, 2025 at 12:36 PM
A style guide for glowing up lying in bed avoiding life.
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(3 minutes into a hunger strike)
Alright...I’m ready to make some concessions.
Alright...I’m ready to make some concessions.
April 2, 2025 at 1:15 AM
(3 minutes into a hunger strike)
Alright...I’m ready to make some concessions.
Alright...I’m ready to make some concessions.
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Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder WHAT THE FUCK
How I wonder WHAT THE FUCK
March 18, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder WHAT THE FUCK
How I wonder WHAT THE FUCK
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Me: *taking off my clothes* I hope you like it rustic
April 1, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Me: *taking off my clothes* I hope you like it rustic
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Excuse me! Garçon!
I was promised fresh hell, not the same shit warmed up day after day.
I was promised fresh hell, not the same shit warmed up day after day.
April 1, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Excuse me! Garçon!
I was promised fresh hell, not the same shit warmed up day after day.
I was promised fresh hell, not the same shit warmed up day after day.
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I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” every time I leave my house.
August 5, 2023 at 12:55 PM
I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” every time I leave my house.
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I wouldn't know where to start if someone presented me with a bag of dicks.
March 30, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I wouldn't know where to start if someone presented me with a bag of dicks.
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Not making sense just isn't worth it. Take it from me, a please take it from me from me repetitive caricature. It was fun at the carnival, like the giant prizes in seatbelts on the way home, but sooner or later the crossroads twinkie deep fries for thee
March 31, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Not making sense just isn't worth it. Take it from me, a please take it from me from me repetitive caricature. It was fun at the carnival, like the giant prizes in seatbelts on the way home, but sooner or later the crossroads twinkie deep fries for thee
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Really digging your AM radio vibe I mean how many people can just cut out and be really silent under a bridge like that, wait, what are you pointing at oh shit mothman
March 31, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Really digging your AM radio vibe I mean how many people can just cut out and be really silent under a bridge like that, wait, what are you pointing at oh shit mothman
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I didn't spend all this time not developing translucent skin and bug eyes just to end up living in a cave. But I am finally willing to go really deep and more impossible to understand
April 1, 2025 at 4:45 AM
I didn't spend all this time not developing translucent skin and bug eyes just to end up living in a cave. But I am finally willing to go really deep and more impossible to understand
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We chose our carriage our gown our ball but all we really wanted was a gourd that can write doctors' notes
April 1, 2025 at 4:08 PM
We chose our carriage our gown our ball but all we really wanted was a gourd that can write doctors' notes
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I suggested to the fellas at the golf club that we open a coffee shop in the clubhouse and call it 'Parbucks' and then four of them tried to drown me in the lake.
March 31, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I suggested to the fellas at the golf club that we open a coffee shop in the clubhouse and call it 'Parbucks' and then four of them tried to drown me in the lake.
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WIFE: *reading news article* Omg a woman choked on a chickpea and died
ME: *barely audible* Hummuscide
HER: Get out!
ME: *barely audible* Hummuscide
HER: Get out!
April 1, 2025 at 8:18 AM
WIFE: *reading news article* Omg a woman choked on a chickpea and died
ME: *barely audible* Hummuscide
HER: Get out!
ME: *barely audible* Hummuscide
HER: Get out!