mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
@m1keonl1ne.bsky.social
extremely normal
extremely normal posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajypeq6itvw
extremely normal posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajypeq6itvw
Pinned
What if we kissed under the soft white light of the cum lamp
Now Playing
November 11, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Now Playing
Haunted House by Allagash
Dark Ale - 6.7% ABV
Portland, ME
Dark Ale - 6.7% ABV
Portland, ME
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Haunted House by Allagash
Dark Ale - 6.7% ABV
Portland, ME
Dark Ale - 6.7% ABV
Portland, ME
Dissatisfied by 2nd Shift
TDH Hazy DIPA w/ Idaho 7 Citra & Simcoe - 8% ABV
Saint Louis, MO
TDH Hazy DIPA w/ Idaho 7 Citra & Simcoe - 8% ABV
Saint Louis, MO
November 11, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Dissatisfied by 2nd Shift
TDH Hazy DIPA w/ Idaho 7 Citra & Simcoe - 8% ABV
Saint Louis, MO
TDH Hazy DIPA w/ Idaho 7 Citra & Simcoe - 8% ABV
Saint Louis, MO
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Her: I've never done this before
Also her:
Also her:
November 11, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Her: I've never done this before
Also her:
Also her:
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
Now Kim Davis can devote more time and energy to the things she's passionate about, like getting divorced
November 11, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Now Kim Davis can devote more time and energy to the things she's passionate about, like getting divorced
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
May 12, 2024 at 10:32 PM
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
If you enjoy my humor, I urge you to please seek help. Although incurable, deranged stupidity can be treated if caught early.
November 10, 2025 at 8:12 PM
If you enjoy my humor, I urge you to please seek help. Although incurable, deranged stupidity can be treated if caught early.
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Medical science says that grip strength is linked to longevity. There may be a benefit to all the time I've spent trying to cling to sanity.
November 10, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Medical science says that grip strength is linked to longevity. There may be a benefit to all the time I've spent trying to cling to sanity.
Cat following me around on the kitchen counter while I'm trying to the dishes before work
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Cat following me around on the kitchen counter while I'm trying to the dishes before work
Writers be like,
November 10, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Writers be like,
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
posting my nudes in amazon product reviews
November 10, 2025 at 2:11 PM
posting my nudes in amazon product reviews
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
You ever drunk dial your senator?
November 10, 2025 at 1:37 AM
You ever drunk dial your senator?
This account smells like body spray and cigarettes
This account smells like cocoa butter and cinnamon
This account smells like weed & patchouli
November 10, 2025 at 3:39 PM
This account smells like body spray and cigarettes
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Male pattern kindness
November 9, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Male pattern kindness
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
[looking back on a long and fruitful career in tech] holy shit that sucked
November 7, 2025 at 1:52 PM
[looking back on a long and fruitful career in tech] holy shit that sucked
My thing is, I'm only tired until I lie down to go to sleep
November 10, 2025 at 2:53 PM
My thing is, I'm only tired until I lie down to go to sleep
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
started from the bottom, now we here (a new bottom)
November 9, 2025 at 6:04 AM
started from the bottom, now we here (a new bottom)
If I ever have to go to prison, please let it be the Roku City prison on that island
November 10, 2025 at 3:07 AM
If I ever have to go to prison, please let it be the Roku City prison on that island
It's called squirt because what's the alternative? Like "Oh yeah baby, *mostly pee* on my wiener?"
November 9, 2025 at 9:53 PM
It's called squirt because what's the alternative? Like "Oh yeah baby, *mostly pee* on my wiener?"
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I dunno maybe we could get together later and sob for a little while y'know for funsies
November 7, 2025 at 12:24 PM
I dunno maybe we could get together later and sob for a little while y'know for funsies
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
now that women have ruined the workplace we should just get rid of it
November 9, 2025 at 2:33 AM
now that women have ruined the workplace we should just get rid of it
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
getting bit by a radioactive vixen could fox me
November 9, 2025 at 5:09 AM
getting bit by a radioactive vixen could fox me
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to circle the block for parking
November 8, 2025 at 6:17 PM
ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to circle the block for parking
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
[my grandpa in his 40s] i am so proud of what ive accomplished in my life
[me in my 40s] oh wow funerals cost a lot i should take up ditch digging
[me in my 40s] oh wow funerals cost a lot i should take up ditch digging
November 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
[my grandpa in his 40s] i am so proud of what ive accomplished in my life
[me in my 40s] oh wow funerals cost a lot i should take up ditch digging
[me in my 40s] oh wow funerals cost a lot i should take up ditch digging