Callistophene Josephine
@djmdmnpt.bsky.social
Please read all posts in the thickest Minnesotan accent you can muster. She/her
Pinned
Awoke with an incurable lust for ham gravy again.
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
If youre asking me to fax something in the year of our lord 2025, im allowed to smoke in your office
November 17, 2025 at 5:42 PM
If youre asking me to fax something in the year of our lord 2025, im allowed to smoke in your office
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
holy shit that’s not actually a reindeer! it’s a camry
November 15, 2025 at 10:53 PM
holy shit that’s not actually a reindeer! it’s a camry
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
good morning substance abusers
November 11, 2025 at 7:44 PM
good morning substance abusers
Disassociation Station, party of one!
October 29, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Disassociation Station, party of one!
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
Ooooo baby do you know what that's worth? Ooooo heaven is a place on earth
October 24, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Ooooo baby do you know what that's worth? Ooooo heaven is a place on earth
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
The hummingbirds are up to something. Head on a swivel people
October 23, 2025 at 5:56 PM
The hummingbirds are up to something. Head on a swivel people
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
all pillows are throw pillows when the people in your house are annoying af
October 21, 2025 at 1:16 PM
all pillows are throw pillows when the people in your house are annoying af
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
Welcome to Bluesky: Weird Al is on here but you sometimes don’t immediately get told that. That’s most of the important information.
October 15, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Welcome to Bluesky: Weird Al is on here but you sometimes don’t immediately get told that. That’s most of the important information.
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
October 14, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
HOW THE FUCK IS DIANE KEATON DEAD BUT THAT OLD BITCH WOODY ALLEN STILL ALIVE???
October 11, 2025 at 8:13 PM
HOW THE FUCK IS DIANE KEATON DEAD BUT THAT OLD BITCH WOODY ALLEN STILL ALIVE???
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
Grandma?
September 12, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Grandma?
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
eat shit hemmingway
August 30, 2025 at 5:09 PM
eat shit hemmingway
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
If the devil jumped up on a hickory stump, I would shit my pants
August 29, 2025 at 12:04 AM
If the devil jumped up on a hickory stump, I would shit my pants
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
damn i guess it was only temporarily 21
August 23, 2025 at 10:57 PM
damn i guess it was only temporarily 21
Got to use the phrase "pendulous testicles" so today was a good day
August 21, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Got to use the phrase "pendulous testicles" so today was a good day
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
i don’t like the person i become when they forget an item of my fast food order
August 21, 2025 at 2:20 AM
i don’t like the person i become when they forget an item of my fast food order
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
I’m not into quiet quitting or quiet cracking; I’m into loud whispering random questions to my colleague at work like “Why do dead people need pillows in their caskets?” while she’s on an important call and vehemently shooing me away.
August 21, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I’m not into quiet quitting or quiet cracking; I’m into loud whispering random questions to my colleague at work like “Why do dead people need pillows in their caskets?” while she’s on an important call and vehemently shooing me away.
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
DATING TIP:
Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Complete the tackle. It’s 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait this might be football.
Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Complete the tackle. It’s 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait this might be football.
November 24, 2024 at 9:57 PM
DATING TIP:
Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Complete the tackle. It’s 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait this might be football.
Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Complete the tackle. It’s 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait this might be football.
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DOUBTED ME WHEN I WAS A KID: you called it, congrats
August 12, 2025 at 8:02 PM
TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DOUBTED ME WHEN I WAS A KID: you called it, congrats
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
wanna feel old? shit yourself at the bank
February 7, 2025 at 5:57 PM
wanna feel old? shit yourself at the bank
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
"Can you fix the printer?" Sir I am still recovering from Y2K
August 12, 2025 at 12:52 PM
"Can you fix the printer?" Sir I am still recovering from Y2K
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
I lived rent free for three months by pretending to be very bad at an escape room and refusing to leave
August 8, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I lived rent free for three months by pretending to be very bad at an escape room and refusing to leave
"The Duality of Man"
July 26, 2025 at 6:35 PM
"The Duality of Man"
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
Actually, this is my first rodeo. Why is that angry cow trying to stab that clown
July 19, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Actually, this is my first rodeo. Why is that angry cow trying to stab that clown
Reposted by Callistophene Josephine
Got tased at mini golf again
July 20, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Got tased at mini golf again