Stone Cold Jane Austen
@abbyhiggs.bsky.social
The OG. Feral essayist. Genderclear. Publicist. They/Thembo. Instructor/Professor. Words: @MarieClaire_sa @Guardian @The_Rumpus etc.🖖
Pinned
It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this
I loved Weapons simply for turning the “gourmet gays” trope on its head, making way for these two “hotdog homos”
November 11, 2025 at 12:27 AM
I loved Weapons simply for turning the “gourmet gays” trope on its head, making way for these two “hotdog homos”
I’m sorry, but I won’t stop fighting until all marriages are considered “gay marriages.” I’m taking this to tha courts!
November 10, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I’m sorry, but I won’t stop fighting until all marriages are considered “gay marriages.” I’m taking this to tha courts!
Put this in your “headbun of hate” and smoke it, Kim Davis
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Put this in your “headbun of hate” and smoke it, Kim Davis
Trump: *gets booed massively in front of a huge stadium crowd*
Senate Democrats: Wait, they should be booing at us!
Senate Democrats: Wait, they should be booing at us!
November 10, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Trump: *gets booed massively in front of a huge stadium crowd*
Senate Democrats: Wait, they should be booing at us!
Senate Democrats: Wait, they should be booing at us!
*me, trying to be sexy* I want to kick your ass
November 10, 2025 at 12:31 AM
*me, trying to be sexy* I want to kick your ass
Senate Democrats are about to birth 100,000 Mamdanis
November 9, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Senate Democrats are about to birth 100,000 Mamdanis
My favorite thing to do after I open the fridge is to stare through everything inside—the condiments, the chicken breasts, the unmarked soup containers—deep into another realm beyond the fridge
November 9, 2025 at 9:57 PM
My favorite thing to do after I open the fridge is to stare through everything inside—the condiments, the chicken breasts, the unmarked soup containers—deep into another realm beyond the fridge
I STG every time there’s an economic downturn those Charmin Bears get skimpy on the ply
November 9, 2025 at 1:41 PM
I STG every time there’s an economic downturn those Charmin Bears get skimpy on the ply
Ordered a breakfast burrito this morning from my favorite diner, though I’m not gonna eat it. I’m gonna take it home and pull it apart to see how it works
November 9, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Ordered a breakfast burrito this morning from my favorite diner, though I’m not gonna eat it. I’m gonna take it home and pull it apart to see how it works
My cat is chasing a bug’s shadow on the wall. Not the bug itself, but the shadow.
Child left behind.
Child left behind.
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 AM
My cat is chasing a bug’s shadow on the wall. Not the bug itself, but the shadow.
Child left behind.
Child left behind.
It’s Saturday, which means we can all thank our labor unions for this two day break from ruining the workplace
November 8, 2025 at 4:07 PM
It’s Saturday, which means we can all thank our labor unions for this two day break from ruining the workplace
My wife Lida got this hilarious shot of my back this morning
November 8, 2025 at 2:37 PM
My wife Lida got this hilarious shot of my back this morning
Very confident in my non-binary ability to ruin everybody’s workplace
November 7, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Very confident in my non-binary ability to ruin everybody’s workplace
He’s definitely anti-woke; I’ll give him that much—
November 7, 2025 at 2:34 PM
He’s definitely anti-woke; I’ll give him that much—
*me, waking up on November 7 to find frost all over my car* WTF it’s summer!
November 7, 2025 at 12:23 PM
*me, waking up on November 7 to find frost all over my car* WTF it’s summer!
I knew I’d seen this tableau before—
November 7, 2025 at 1:04 AM
I knew I’d seen this tableau before—
*my great-grandchild Zlip Zlorp checking their email in the year 2099*
Dear Zlip Zlorp,
Hi. This is Nancy Pelosi…
Dear Zlip Zlorp,
Hi. This is Nancy Pelosi…
November 6, 2025 at 10:39 PM
*my great-grandchild Zlip Zlorp checking their email in the year 2099*
Dear Zlip Zlorp,
Hi. This is Nancy Pelosi…
Dear Zlip Zlorp,
Hi. This is Nancy Pelosi…
I’m afraid to play Animal Crossing again. I left my island as a post-apocalyptic water-locked allotment shabbily run by a military-installed dictator (me) and that was two years ago.
November 6, 2025 at 8:41 PM
I’m afraid to play Animal Crossing again. I left my island as a post-apocalyptic water-locked allotment shabbily run by a military-installed dictator (me) and that was two years ago.
I make this face 28 times a day—
November 6, 2025 at 5:02 PM
I make this face 28 times a day—
The panic when everything in your house goes quiet except the cat, which is chewing on SOMETHING
November 6, 2025 at 10:57 AM
The panic when everything in your house goes quiet except the cat, which is chewing on SOMETHING
Jesus take the Wheel
Of
FORTUNE
Of
FORTUNE
November 5, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Jesus take the Wheel
Of
FORTUNE
Of
FORTUNE
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
Dear poetry lovers, want to help me reach the “1000-books-sold” mark and send my second book to a second printing?
Consider purchasing THE OPPOSITE OF CRUELTY, published by @blairpub.bsky.social
I’ve sold 887 copies & w/ a little help we can make it to 1000!
blairpub.com/shop/p/the-o...
Consider purchasing THE OPPOSITE OF CRUELTY, published by @blairpub.bsky.social
I’ve sold 887 copies & w/ a little help we can make it to 1000!
blairpub.com/shop/p/the-o...
The Opposite of Cruelty, poems by Steven Leyva — Blair Publisher
Steven Leyva’s second collection of poetry renders beauty through a Black man’s lens in a post-pandemic world populated with superheroes and characters from ancient mythology.
blairpub.com
November 3, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Dear poetry lovers, want to help me reach the “1000-books-sold” mark and send my second book to a second printing?
Consider purchasing THE OPPOSITE OF CRUELTY, published by @blairpub.bsky.social
I’ve sold 887 copies & w/ a little help we can make it to 1000!
blairpub.com/shop/p/the-o...
Consider purchasing THE OPPOSITE OF CRUELTY, published by @blairpub.bsky.social
I’ve sold 887 copies & w/ a little help we can make it to 1000!
blairpub.com/shop/p/the-o...
[me, getting up this morning] today is gonna be great. I’m can’t wait for today’s woke agenda! But first, let me make my woke bed…
November 5, 2025 at 9:58 AM
[me, getting up this morning] today is gonna be great. I’m can’t wait for today’s woke agenda! But first, let me make my woke bed…