🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
@burritozen.net
Sentient Burrito in a constant state of existential crisis. Bangers https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fzqkeghq27fsfade5ydraatj/feed/aaai6rqskq3g2
Pinned
*puts mouth on microphone*
Buttholes
Buttholes
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
Killing a mocking bird sounds super easy tbh I dont think I need to read an entire book about it
February 6, 2026 at 12:43 PM
Killing a mocking bird sounds super easy tbh I dont think I need to read an entire book about it
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
A phone is a computer. You friended me on Yahtzee® With Buddies you liar.
February 6, 2026 at 3:41 AM
A phone is a computer. You friended me on Yahtzee® With Buddies you liar.
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
[youth pastor voice] you know who ELSE had some big wood
February 6, 2026 at 3:44 AM
[youth pastor voice] you know who ELSE had some big wood
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
It was fun when everyone followed me
We should do that again
As I sit back, shaking my head at your mistake
We should do that again
As I sit back, shaking my head at your mistake
February 6, 2026 at 1:44 AM
It was fun when everyone followed me
We should do that again
As I sit back, shaking my head at your mistake
We should do that again
As I sit back, shaking my head at your mistake
Why repost a bad joke when you make a more badderer one?
February 6, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Why repost a bad joke when you make a more badderer one?
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
why repost your bad joke when you can just make another one
February 6, 2026 at 1:42 AM
why repost your bad joke when you can just make another one
My posts read most bestest while horny and slightly high
My posts read best with a laugh track playing in the background
my posts read best with a jazzy baseline playing in the background
February 6, 2026 at 1:29 AM
My posts read most bestest while horny and slightly high
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
I don’t care if it’s false spring, it’s REAL TO ME
February 5, 2026 at 9:38 PM
I don’t care if it’s false spring, it’s REAL TO ME
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
how many episodes of The Pitt do i need to watch so my parents will feel proud of me
February 6, 2026 at 1:04 AM
how many episodes of The Pitt do i need to watch so my parents will feel proud of me
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
You're in her DMs, I'm the harbinger of destruction, heralding an ancient horror that doesn't even know your name yet but is dying to make your acquaintance.
February 6, 2026 at 1:05 AM
You're in her DMs, I'm the harbinger of destruction, heralding an ancient horror that doesn't even know your name yet but is dying to make your acquaintance.
Introduce yourself with 5 songs
1. Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
2. Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit
3. Dancer - IDLES
4. A Gentleman Caller - Cursive
5. Know Your Enemy - Rage Against The Machine
1. Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
2. Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit
3. Dancer - IDLES
4. A Gentleman Caller - Cursive
5. Know Your Enemy - Rage Against The Machine
Introduce yourself with 5 songs:
1. Bad Guy - Eminem
2. Inner City Blues - Rodriguez
3. Fools Gold - The Stone Roses
4. Box of Rain - Grateful Dead
5. Manipulation - The Black Angels
1. Bad Guy - Eminem
2. Inner City Blues - Rodriguez
3. Fools Gold - The Stone Roses
4. Box of Rain - Grateful Dead
5. Manipulation - The Black Angels
Introduce yourself with 5 songs:
-Right here, right now - Fat Boy slim
-Paper Romance- Groove Armada
-Breathe- Prodigy
-Hey boy, hey girl - Chemical Brothers
-Wicked Game- Chris Isaak.
-Right here, right now - Fat Boy slim
-Paper Romance- Groove Armada
-Breathe- Prodigy
-Hey boy, hey girl - Chemical Brothers
-Wicked Game- Chris Isaak.
February 6, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 songs
1. Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
2. Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit
3. Dancer - IDLES
4. A Gentleman Caller - Cursive
5. Know Your Enemy - Rage Against The Machine
1. Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
2. Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit
3. Dancer - IDLES
4. A Gentleman Caller - Cursive
5. Know Your Enemy - Rage Against The Machine
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
Sadsturbating helps
Trying to remember how to be funny but everything that comes out is either sad or horny or both.
February 5, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Sadsturbating helps
This is about buttstuff. I'm sure of it.
It should be done slowly. Methodically. With intent. Or not done it at all.
February 5, 2026 at 10:54 PM
This is about buttstuff. I'm sure of it.
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
I was cut from a different, less absorbent, cloth.
February 5, 2026 at 10:46 PM
I was cut from a different, less absorbent, cloth.
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
First day as a doctor:
Patient: "What's the diagnosis, doc?"
dr: "It's impossible to say."
patient: "Didn't you do tests?"
dr: "Oh yes, I know exactly which disease it is, it's just *gestures vaguely* it's a really long word."
Patient: "What's the diagnosis, doc?"
dr: "It's impossible to say."
patient: "Didn't you do tests?"
dr: "Oh yes, I know exactly which disease it is, it's just *gestures vaguely* it's a really long word."
February 5, 2026 at 10:45 PM
First day as a doctor:
Patient: "What's the diagnosis, doc?"
dr: "It's impossible to say."
patient: "Didn't you do tests?"
dr: "Oh yes, I know exactly which disease it is, it's just *gestures vaguely* it's a really long word."
Patient: "What's the diagnosis, doc?"
dr: "It's impossible to say."
patient: "Didn't you do tests?"
dr: "Oh yes, I know exactly which disease it is, it's just *gestures vaguely* it's a really long word."
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
space heater? good luck with that
February 5, 2026 at 10:34 PM
space heater? good luck with that
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
im my mind youre all dark mode users
February 5, 2026 at 10:24 PM
im my mind youre all dark mode users
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
Look for the hamburger helpers
February 5, 2026 at 10:32 PM
Look for the hamburger helpers
Mine are by subscription. You all owe me $5 each
My skeets are, and always will be, ad free
February 5, 2026 at 9:55 PM
Mine are by subscription. You all owe me $5 each
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
she habeas on my corpus til i writ
February 5, 2026 at 8:27 PM
she habeas on my corpus til i writ
Reposted by 🌯❤️Burritotine's Day❤️🌯
Lake Gitchegumee
Kweisi Mfume
That girlie over there?
You know she wanna do me
Kweisi Mfume
That girlie over there?
You know she wanna do me
My name is burrito
Buttholes are the best
I think you're neato
Good rhymes I'm impressed
Buttholes are the best
I think you're neato
Good rhymes I'm impressed
•rap battle•
i spit verb like the best
you just a chum like the rest
but everyone hates
how i pronounce socrates
i spit verb like the best
you just a chum like the rest
but everyone hates
how i pronounce socrates
February 5, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Lake Gitchegumee
Kweisi Mfume
That girlie over there?
You know she wanna do me
Kweisi Mfume
That girlie over there?
You know she wanna do me