Charlie
@tweetcarp.bsky.social
Social distancing thought leader
Chicago
Chicago
Reposted by Charlie
my Slack wrapped says that I only sent 12 messages that gave HR cause for concern this year
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
December 4, 2025 at 12:20 PM
my Slack wrapped says that I only sent 12 messages that gave HR cause for concern this year
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
Reposted by Charlie
NYT: Is the President tired?
Ms. Leavitt: Would a weary President be able to deliver a racist rant like that one?
Ms. Leavitt: Would a weary President be able to deliver a racist rant like that one?
December 3, 2025 at 12:19 PM
NYT: Is the President tired?
Ms. Leavitt: Would a weary President be able to deliver a racist rant like that one?
Ms. Leavitt: Would a weary President be able to deliver a racist rant like that one?
Reposted by Charlie
Primary everyone. All of em. I'm serious. They have the worst political instincts in history in addition to being a bunch of pricks with a cushy job. Time to leave and go write your book, assholes. Take Tapper and the other dickheads with you on the way out
Laughing at Donald Trump saying he'd definitely feel comfortable living in Zohran Mamdani's New York on the same day that half the consultant brain-poisoned Democratic party voted to condemn socialism
November 21, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Primary everyone. All of em. I'm serious. They have the worst political instincts in history in addition to being a bunch of pricks with a cushy job. Time to leave and go write your book, assholes. Take Tapper and the other dickheads with you on the way out
Reposted by Charlie
A big idea that commercials tried to give to me growing up was that there were brands of gum with so much flavor that if my grandpa ate it he would just die
November 13, 2025 at 4:19 PM
A big idea that commercials tried to give to me growing up was that there were brands of gum with so much flavor that if my grandpa ate it he would just die
Reposted by Charlie
look I know being an engaged citizen IS the work of democracy but it is also the work of elected officials not to create situations where everyone has to be mobilized all the time to prevent them from allowing some kind of Dickensian horror on a Sunday night while you're in between loads of laundry
November 9, 2025 at 11:37 PM
look I know being an engaged citizen IS the work of democracy but it is also the work of elected officials not to create situations where everyone has to be mobilized all the time to prevent them from allowing some kind of Dickensian horror on a Sunday night while you're in between loads of laundry
Reposted by Charlie
waking up and groggily trying to piece together what people could possibly mean by “trump diarrhea video” i hate this world
October 19, 2025 at 12:01 PM
waking up and groggily trying to piece together what people could possibly mean by “trump diarrhea video” i hate this world
Reposted by Charlie
Chuck Schumer, in an hour from now: The president plans to flood the streets with military personnel to oppress innocent people, but what he should be flooding the streets with is tax credits for the middle class!
September 30, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Chuck Schumer, in an hour from now: The president plans to flood the streets with military personnel to oppress innocent people, but what he should be flooding the streets with is tax credits for the middle class!
Reposted by Charlie
so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining
September 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining
Reposted by Charlie
me: i want to sleep in a human-sized hotdog bun
911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great
me: so who do we call
911: [shouting in background] we're checking now
911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great
me: so who do we call
911: [shouting in background] we're checking now
September 16, 2025 at 8:01 PM
me: i want to sleep in a human-sized hotdog bun
911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great
me: so who do we call
911: [shouting in background] we're checking now
911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great
me: so who do we call
911: [shouting in background] we're checking now
Reposted by Charlie
one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them
September 15, 2025 at 3:54 PM
one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them
Reposted by Charlie
Keep picturing Patel dropping the casings in terror after reading “if you read this youre gay”
September 12, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Keep picturing Patel dropping the casings in terror after reading “if you read this youre gay”
Reposted by Charlie
The president is sending the military to control American cities and if you're a reporter who's framing that illegal power grab as "pushing the boundaries of constitutionality" or "acting boldly to fight crime" or whatever, please go find another line of work where you won't get us all killed.
September 2, 2025 at 8:56 PM
The president is sending the military to control American cities and if you're a reporter who's framing that illegal power grab as "pushing the boundaries of constitutionality" or "acting boldly to fight crime" or whatever, please go find another line of work where you won't get us all killed.
Reposted by Charlie
Rudy Giuliani happened to be in the middle of one of his favorite pastimes - RESPECTING WOMEN - when he suddenly broke every single bone in his body. Please do not call and ask any questions because his business partner is taking care of him ❤️
August 31, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Rudy Giuliani happened to be in the middle of one of his favorite pastimes - RESPECTING WOMEN - when he suddenly broke every single bone in his body. Please do not call and ask any questions because his business partner is taking care of him ❤️
Reposted by Charlie
remember folks, we cant have gun restrictions because if we do the federal government will occupy our streets, imprison people without due process, ship dissidents to foreign gulags and things of that nature
August 27, 2025 at 6:42 PM
remember folks, we cant have gun restrictions because if we do the federal government will occupy our streets, imprison people without due process, ship dissidents to foreign gulags and things of that nature
Reposted by Charlie
me, getting bribed: where the fuck are the chips
BREAKING: Eric Adams Advisor Winnie Greco Handed a CITY Reporter Cash Stuffed in a Bag of Potato Chips
www.thecity.nyc/2025/08/20/w...
www.thecity.nyc/2025/08/20/w...
Eric Adams Advisor Winnie Greco Handed a CITY Reporter Cash Stuffed in a Bag of Potato Chips
THE CITY reported the incident to law enforcement and was promptly contacted by the Brooklyn U.S. attorney’s office.
www.thecity.nyc
August 21, 2025 at 12:40 AM
me, getting bribed: where the fuck are the chips
Reposted by Charlie
On TV, it looked like an assault on democracy, but it was actually a job fair, apparently
Trump’s nominee to replace the Bureau of Labor Statistics Commissioner he fired pictured at January 6th, amazing scoop by @ryanjreilly.com
www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
August 14, 2025 at 3:48 AM
On TV, it looked like an assault on democracy, but it was actually a job fair, apparently
Reposted by Charlie
The economy is so good that I'm firing the BLS Commissioner for reporting numbers so grim I refuse to believe them, and also demanding the Fed cut rates typically seen during a recession.
August 2, 2025 at 11:28 AM
The economy is so good that I'm firing the BLS Commissioner for reporting numbers so grim I refuse to believe them, and also demanding the Fed cut rates typically seen during a recession.
Reposted by Charlie
It’s every parent’s nightmare, isn’t it? you check your child’s bulletproof backpack and find a picture book about gay penguins
June 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
It’s every parent’s nightmare, isn’t it? you check your child’s bulletproof backpack and find a picture book about gay penguins
Reposted by Charlie
As a four-decade veteran of the daily journalism business, let me tell you: Every competent political reporter in this country knows that Trump is trying to establish a dictatorship. The industry's shame is that so few journalists will say so, and the ones who do lose their jobs.
June 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
As a four-decade veteran of the daily journalism business, let me tell you: Every competent political reporter in this country knows that Trump is trying to establish a dictatorship. The industry's shame is that so few journalists will say so, and the ones who do lose their jobs.
Reposted by Charlie
must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away
“In light of the President's statement about cancellation of my government contracts, @SpaceX will begin decommissioning its Dragon spacecraft immediately”
June 5, 2025 at 8:15 PM
must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away
Reposted by Charlie
Someone should tell Trump that Elon would feel very owned if he fully funded USAID and the CDC.
June 5, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Someone should tell Trump that Elon would feel very owned if he fully funded USAID and the CDC.
Reposted by Charlie
Ok I'm hearing they can print out your posts IRL, this is not good
May 12, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Ok I'm hearing they can print out your posts IRL, this is not good