Lizzy
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stonedeva.bsky.social
Lizzy
@stonedeva.bsky.social
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How the Grinch stole your catalytic converter then hawked it for meth in order to start an assisted living facility not covered by Medicare
Reposted by Lizzy
Found a faded five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans so yes I'm guilty of money laundering.
December 6, 2025 at 3:10 AM
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Even the most trivial, juvenile decisions are made to divide us.
December 6, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Magnifying mirrors are the best. How else would I know my chin mole actually has 3 hairs growing out of it now
December 6, 2025 at 2:11 AM
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something to the effect of having to put it together… in order to make an Ikea joke
December 6, 2025 at 1:35 AM
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🎵 and on the 5th day of Christmas, she threw his body in the river and took off with the golden rings 🎵
December 6, 2025 at 1:13 AM
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We are all residents of the land of forgotten toys.
December 4, 2025 at 12:51 PM
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Bears are so fucking smart to hibernate for the winter.
December 5, 2025 at 10:46 PM
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your honor when you said I may approach the bench I assumed I would get uppies to get there
December 5, 2025 at 10:24 PM
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Bluesky profiles should let you list an emergency contact
December 5, 2025 at 1:30 PM
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staring forlornly out of a window, wondering when my serotonin will return from the war, but knowing in my heart that I will never see it again
December 5, 2025 at 3:28 PM
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What if we kissed at the combination Car Wash / Sushi Bar
December 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
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as an act of good faith, i will now vanish into the howling abyss
December 5, 2025 at 9:42 PM
PSA: no one likes sloppy gift wrapping... do better
December 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
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Honored to recieve the USA Rugby League Medal For Literature, it was a long time coming
December 5, 2025 at 10:34 PM
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etsy witches do something!!
Netflix Wins the Warner Bros. Discovery Bidding War, Enters Exclusive Deal Talks (Netflix offering $30 a share and a $5 billion break-up fee) www.thewrap.com/netflix-wins...
December 5, 2025 at 11:08 PM
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greatest mural ever?
it's in the running
December 5, 2025 at 10:57 PM
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Any guesses on where Nuzzi will end up? Is Dancing With the Stars still a thing?
Vanity Fair and Olivia Nuzzi ‘mutually’ agree to part ways after new RFK Jr. claims
The departure comes after Nuzzi’s ex-fiancé published a series of blistering Substack posts accusing her of journalistic ethical violations.
www.independent.co.uk
December 5, 2025 at 9:33 PM
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When someone has “taken” in their bio, they got abducted by aliens.
December 5, 2025 at 9:15 PM
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It’s so cold out I actually drove my car to work using my nipples to steer.
December 5, 2025 at 2:41 PM
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Animaniacs please do something
December 5, 2025 at 7:28 PM
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gyms cost a lot but anxiety attacks are free your heart rate doesnt know the difference
November 13, 2025 at 2:18 AM
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Licensed to [be mentally] ill
July 17, 2025 at 1:44 AM
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What's with all the adorable pet photos, today? I don't want to see a bunch of photos of all of your cute pets sleeping or sporting sweaters. Nope.

I'm also not going to spend the afternoon browsing the local Humane Society site humming "in the arms of an angel🎶"
December 5, 2025 at 5:57 PM
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As my cats like to say "bitch. please."
December 1, 2025 at 1:01 PM