Gabby HC
@scriblit.bsky.social
Comedy writer & Author. Repped by JFL. Horrible Histories & Horrible Science! Loadsa R4 stuff! And more! Buy the Darkwood Trilogy or Rooks Trilogy or Cursed Under London! 🐝 with the 🫖. Avatar by Tealin!
Reposted by Gabby HC
A radio programme like the Shipping Forecast but it’s called Bin Day and it just reads out every single council in the country’s bin schedule
November 10, 2025 at 11:53 PM
A radio programme like the Shipping Forecast but it’s called Bin Day and it just reads out every single council in the country’s bin schedule
Reposted by Gabby HC
"donald trump is threatening legal action" is not an interesting headline, he does this every day like brushing his teeth
November 10, 2025 at 8:38 PM
"donald trump is threatening legal action" is not an interesting headline, he does this every day like brushing his teeth
Goldilocks Musk
🤝
Greedy little tyrant whose secret weakness is Oates
🤝
Greedy little tyrant whose secret weakness is Oates
November 10, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Goldilocks Musk
🤝
Greedy little tyrant whose secret weakness is Oates
🤝
Greedy little tyrant whose secret weakness is Oates
Reposted by Gabby HC
[at Tesla]
Tesla Shareholders: in recognition of your incredible gift for lowering the price of tesla stock, we would like to award you this trillion dollar bonus
Elon Musk: yeah yeah that'sa fine
Tesla Shareholders: what's the matter? you seem distracted
Musk: no i'm fine
Musk: [muttering] oates
Tesla Shareholders: in recognition of your incredible gift for lowering the price of tesla stock, we would like to award you this trillion dollar bonus
Elon Musk: yeah yeah that'sa fine
Tesla Shareholders: what's the matter? you seem distracted
Musk: no i'm fine
Musk: [muttering] oates
November 10, 2025 at 8:27 PM
[at Tesla]
Tesla Shareholders: in recognition of your incredible gift for lowering the price of tesla stock, we would like to award you this trillion dollar bonus
Elon Musk: yeah yeah that'sa fine
Tesla Shareholders: what's the matter? you seem distracted
Musk: no i'm fine
Musk: [muttering] oates
Tesla Shareholders: in recognition of your incredible gift for lowering the price of tesla stock, we would like to award you this trillion dollar bonus
Elon Musk: yeah yeah that'sa fine
Tesla Shareholders: what's the matter? you seem distracted
Musk: no i'm fine
Musk: [muttering] oates
Reposted by Gabby HC
Still possibly one of the greatest Armistice Day tweets of all time from the good old days on Twitter.
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
November 10, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Still possibly one of the greatest Armistice Day tweets of all time from the good old days on Twitter.
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
Me: whataboutery is the rhetorical refuge of the immoral, we shouldn't use it
Also me: remember a few months back when the telegraph published an entirely fabricated story as a hit piece against gvt vat policy, illustrated by a misleading stock photo, & everyone just shrugged it off?
Also me: remember a few months back when the telegraph published an entirely fabricated story as a hit piece against gvt vat policy, illustrated by a misleading stock photo, & everyone just shrugged it off?
November 10, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Me: whataboutery is the rhetorical refuge of the immoral, we shouldn't use it
Also me: remember a few months back when the telegraph published an entirely fabricated story as a hit piece against gvt vat policy, illustrated by a misleading stock photo, & everyone just shrugged it off?
Also me: remember a few months back when the telegraph published an entirely fabricated story as a hit piece against gvt vat policy, illustrated by a misleading stock photo, & everyone just shrugged it off?
Reposted by Gabby HC
There are many subtle and complex arguments one can have about the future of the BBC — but I guarantee you that no other channel or streaming service will be as committed to factual programming, children’s education, history shows, religious discussion, poetry, arts, or state of the nation debate
November 10, 2025 at 12:48 PM
There are many subtle and complex arguments one can have about the future of the BBC — but I guarantee you that no other channel or streaming service will be as committed to factual programming, children’s education, history shows, religious discussion, poetry, arts, or state of the nation debate
Reposted by Gabby HC
Pagans in paperback early next year! With RED SPREDGES!
We couldn't be happier to share the pre-order link for the @waterstones.bsky.social special edition of PAGANS in paperback. With a beautiful foiled cover, red spredges and an exclusive short story, it is a treat. Limited numbers, so pre-order now if you want it! www.waterstones.com/book/pagans/...
November 10, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Pagans in paperback early next year! With RED SPREDGES!
Reposted by Gabby HC
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
Reposted by Gabby HC
Other than it is weird that people are just taking photos of strangers, is there something inherently wrong with being a "performative" reader?
November 10, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Other than it is weird that people are just taking photos of strangers, is there something inherently wrong with being a "performative" reader?
Reposted by Gabby HC
If you have mini people aged 4-7, there is a lovely new show out today on C5/Milkshake from today called Stan and Gran. It's full of gags and nature facts. Also I wrote some of it, and it's all expertly head written by @howardread.bsky.social. My first ep is out next Monday (its all about worms 🪱🪱🪱)
November 10, 2025 at 9:41 AM
If you have mini people aged 4-7, there is a lovely new show out today on C5/Milkshake from today called Stan and Gran. It's full of gags and nature facts. Also I wrote some of it, and it's all expertly head written by @howardread.bsky.social. My first ep is out next Monday (its all about worms 🪱🪱🪱)
Reposted by Gabby HC
Reposted by Gabby HC
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
1
CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
2
CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
3
CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
5
HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
6
HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
7
HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
8
CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
9
CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
10
HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
12
HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm@jpeg)
Still, powerwash simulator 2 is on game pass, so it's not all bad news
November 9, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Still, powerwash simulator 2 is on game pass, so it's not all bad news
Reposted by Gabby HC
OK no more editing of Trump. Broadcast every stumble, every nonsensical ramble and brain fart. No more tidying him up or explaining him. Instead of commentary, just replace every reporter with this GIF every time he does anything:
elmo from sesame street is making a funny face with his big eyes .
ALT: elmo from sesame street is making a funny face with his big eyes .
media.tenor.com
November 9, 2025 at 7:38 PM
OK no more editing of Trump. Broadcast every stumble, every nonsensical ramble and brain fart. No more tidying him up or explaining him. Instead of commentary, just replace every reporter with this GIF every time he does anything:
Me, giggling like a goblin, strapping myself into the BBC Boss chair, commissioning non-celeb sitcom & sketch show after another. High concept narrative comedies by women! 100 shows with writers rooms! Tell whatever celeb blokes are doing a travel show they can make their own way back from Bordeaux!
November 9, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Me, giggling like a goblin, strapping myself into the BBC Boss chair, commissioning non-celeb sitcom & sketch show after another. High concept narrative comedies by women! 100 shows with writers rooms! Tell whatever celeb blokes are doing a travel show they can make their own way back from Bordeaux!
Reposted by Gabby HC
OK FINE! I’ll be the next BBC Director General.
Day 1: funnel the budgets into a load of new comedies, dramas & documentaries. New Play for Today / Screen One type strand, new Comedy Playhouse pilots series once or twice a year.
Day 2: resign
Day 1: funnel the budgets into a load of new comedies, dramas & documentaries. New Play for Today / Screen One type strand, new Comedy Playhouse pilots series once or twice a year.
Day 2: resign
November 9, 2025 at 6:51 PM
OK FINE! I’ll be the next BBC Director General.
Day 1: funnel the budgets into a load of new comedies, dramas & documentaries. New Play for Today / Screen One type strand, new Comedy Playhouse pilots series once or twice a year.
Day 2: resign
Day 1: funnel the budgets into a load of new comedies, dramas & documentaries. New Play for Today / Screen One type strand, new Comedy Playhouse pilots series once or twice a year.
Day 2: resign
Thomas Was Alone is SUCH a good little narrative puzzle game. You wouldn't believe rectangles could make you cry.
Thomas Was Alone week is almost over, but we have the rest of our legacy celebration to go.
Here's to the game about rectangles that made all those future titles possible. 🟥
Here's to the game about rectangles that made all those future titles possible. 🟥
November 9, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Thomas Was Alone is SUCH a good little narrative puzzle game. You wouldn't believe rectangles could make you cry.
Reposted by Gabby HC
We have eaten
The pants
That were in
Your garden
The pants
That were in
Your garden
Jesus fucken Christ. I ordered some undercrackers, lads. Nothing came. No despatch email, no delivery confirmation, nothing.
So today I check tracking online. Evri "delivered" them to my side garden (just chucked randomly).
AND THEN THE FOXES
THE FOXES
(breathe)
ATE
MY
FUCKEN
PANTS
So today I check tracking online. Evri "delivered" them to my side garden (just chucked randomly).
AND THEN THE FOXES
THE FOXES
(breathe)
ATE
MY
FUCKEN
PANTS
November 9, 2025 at 5:11 PM
We have eaten
The pants
That were in
Your garden
The pants
That were in
Your garden
Reposted by Gabby HC
Tourists! Come to America! Our air traffic controllers haven't been paid, so there's a non-zero chance your flight will crash! Don't worry, if you do get here you could be kidnapped by a masked stormtrooper and held indefinitely in torture conditions! Bring your money to the US!
November 9, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Tourists! Come to America! Our air traffic controllers haven't been paid, so there's a non-zero chance your flight will crash! Don't worry, if you do get here you could be kidnapped by a masked stormtrooper and held indefinitely in torture conditions! Bring your money to the US!
Reposted by Gabby HC
This is what Wilfred Owen wrote poetry for 🫡
November 9, 2025 at 2:26 PM
This is what Wilfred Owen wrote poetry for 🫡
*Benoit Blanc voice* ah assewmed at first that he maht be connected ter the case, but it uppeeas he was just a fancy lad; a lad who laks ter be fancy
Loving today's news that the mysterious "fedora man" outside the Louvre heist was actually a 15-year-old museum visitor who dresses like a 1940s French detective all the time, just because. apnews.com/article/louv...
Fedora man unmasked: Meet the teen behind the Louvre mystery photo
Fifteen-year-old Pedro Elias Garzon Delvaux has become an internet sensation after an Associated Press photo captured him outside the Louvre on the day of a crown jewels heist.
apnews.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:43 PM
*Benoit Blanc voice* ah assewmed at first that he maht be connected ter the case, but it uppeeas he was just a fancy lad; a lad who laks ter be fancy
Reposted by Gabby HC
Reposted by Gabby HC
A great point. If you read the UK press, spend time on X and fall prey to elite radicalisation, you can very easily fool yourself into thinking you represent the silent majority when in fact you are an increasingly extreme minority. It's funny when conservatives scold liberals about their "bubbles"
This latest defeat may exemplify a broader ecosystem/bubble problem for the right: so used now to preaching to the converted in media outlets and online that it struggles to understand how this language (the NT as run by or capitulating to "woke terrorists") might be received by the median member
November 9, 2025 at 11:49 AM
A great point. If you read the UK press, spend time on X and fall prey to elite radicalisation, you can very easily fool yourself into thinking you represent the silent majority when in fact you are an increasingly extreme minority. It's funny when conservatives scold liberals about their "bubbles"