Matt Green
@mattgreencomedy.com
Comedian, satirist, writer, actor
SEE ME LIVE ON TOUR THIS AUTUMN! https://www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-tickets-adp1421297
SEE ME LIVE ON TOUR THIS AUTUMN! https://www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-tickets-adp1421297
Pinned
The BBC: Impartial
GB News: I’m partial
Fox News: Inpatient
GB News: I’m partial
Fox News: Inpatient
November 10, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The BBC: Impartial
GB News: I’m partial
Fox News: Inpatient
GB News: I’m partial
Fox News: Inpatient
If I had made two of the greatest TV series of all time and was basically in a position to do anything I fancied, I’d like to think I’d produce something as utterly unique and ambitious as Pluribus. Don’t read anything about it, just watch the first episode. Compelling and absolutely unpredictable.
November 10, 2025 at 12:58 AM
If I had made two of the greatest TV series of all time and was basically in a position to do anything I fancied, I’d like to think I’d produce something as utterly unique and ambitious as Pluribus. Don’t read anything about it, just watch the first episode. Compelling and absolutely unpredictable.
Reposted by Matt Green
This is wonderful, and all too topical.
Still a few dates on Matt's live tour: do go if he's anywhere near you.
www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
Still a few dates on Matt's live tour: do go if he's anywhere near you.
www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
November 9, 2025 at 11:41 PM
This is wonderful, and all too topical.
Still a few dates on Matt's live tour: do go if he's anywhere near you.
www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
Still a few dates on Matt's live tour: do go if he's anywhere near you.
www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
Reposted by Matt Green
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
1
CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
2
CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
3
CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
5
HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
6
HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
7
HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
8
CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
9
CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
10
HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
12
HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm@jpeg)
Thanks to everyone at my gig in Southend tonight! A fun Sunday show and I feel like we could have talked about wheelie bins for some time…
November 9, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Thanks to everyone at my gig in Southend tonight! A fun Sunday show and I feel like we could have talked about wheelie bins for some time…
Reposted by Matt Green
I had my disagreements with the BBC under Tim Davie but he was a decent man doing a difficult job.
To see Trump's White House claiming credit for his downfall and attacking the BBC should worry us all.
To see Trump's White House claiming credit for his downfall and attacking the BBC should worry us all.
November 9, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I had my disagreements with the BBC under Tim Davie but he was a decent man doing a difficult job.
To see Trump's White House claiming credit for his downfall and attacking the BBC should worry us all.
To see Trump's White House claiming credit for his downfall and attacking the BBC should worry us all.
Reposted by Matt Green
It’s ironic but predictable that the BBC duo -who tried so hard to please the right wing papers-are removed by the right wing papers.
November 9, 2025 at 6:46 PM
It’s ironic but predictable that the BBC duo -who tried so hard to please the right wing papers-are removed by the right wing papers.
OK no more editing of Trump. Broadcast every stumble, every nonsensical ramble and brain fart. No more tidying him up or explaining him. Instead of commentary, just replace every reporter with this GIF every time he does anything:
elmo from sesame street is making a funny face with his big eyes .
ALT: elmo from sesame street is making a funny face with his big eyes .
media.tenor.com
November 9, 2025 at 7:38 PM
OK no more editing of Trump. Broadcast every stumble, every nonsensical ramble and brain fart. No more tidying him up or explaining him. Instead of commentary, just replace every reporter with this GIF every time he does anything:
The BBC when there is a real scandal: takes years to do anything, drags its feet, is very defensive
The BBC when the right wing goes for it: has a panic attack then throws itself on its sword immediately
The BBC when the right wing goes for it: has a panic attack then throws itself on its sword immediately
November 9, 2025 at 7:36 PM
The BBC when there is a real scandal: takes years to do anything, drags its feet, is very defensive
The BBC when the right wing goes for it: has a panic attack then throws itself on its sword immediately
The BBC when the right wing goes for it: has a panic attack then throws itself on its sword immediately
Reposted by Matt Green
Glad that someone has finally taken responsibility for the appalling assault on democracy that was the Jan. 6 insurrection.
Slightly confused that it's the Director-General of the BBC, but what do I know?
Slightly confused that it's the Director-General of the BBC, but what do I know?
November 9, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Glad that someone has finally taken responsibility for the appalling assault on democracy that was the Jan. 6 insurrection.
Slightly confused that it's the Director-General of the BBC, but what do I know?
Slightly confused that it's the Director-General of the BBC, but what do I know?
So I made this video 4 years ago - and somehow things have got worse since then… youtu.be/bJnT2yL66Kw?...
Interview for a senior role at BBC News
YouTube video by Matt Green Comedy
youtu.be
November 9, 2025 at 7:22 PM
So I made this video 4 years ago - and somehow things have got worse since then… youtu.be/bJnT2yL66Kw?...
It’s a tale as old as time
Was in the foyer of my local leisure centre at 11am today and the 2 minute silence was interrupted by a guy in full body armour with a sword asking when the two minute silence would be because there was no clock in the Bushido practice room and none of them were wearing watches.
November 9, 2025 at 12:41 PM
It’s a tale as old as time
Reposted by Matt Green
The BBC is apologising for its Panorama edit. It shouldn’t. First, the narrative is true: Donald Trump *did* incite the Capitol riot. Second, the apology won’t appease those attacking it. So why not at least stand for something?
Wrote this on it earlier this week:
inews.co.uk/news/world/b...
Wrote this on it earlier this week:
inews.co.uk/news/world/b...
The BBC was right about the Capitol riots. In a sane world, Trump would be in jail
The US President faced impeachment over the violence, and in a world where Republicans had more courage, he would have been found guilty
inews.co.uk
November 9, 2025 at 7:05 AM
The BBC is apologising for its Panorama edit. It shouldn’t. First, the narrative is true: Donald Trump *did* incite the Capitol riot. Second, the apology won’t appease those attacking it. So why not at least stand for something?
Wrote this on it earlier this week:
inews.co.uk/news/world/b...
Wrote this on it earlier this week:
inews.co.uk/news/world/b...
Heading to Southend-on-Sea tonight for my 11th show of the tour. Every show has been really fun (even Northampton) and I’m loving performing it. Would love a few more people tonight - if you’re in the area then come along! 8pm start. trafalgartickets.com/palace-theat...
Book Matt Green: Legitimate Concerns tickets | Palace Theatre Southend
Book your tickets to Matt Green: Legitimate Concerns at Palace Theatre Southend at the official Trafalgar Tickets, Palace Theatre Southend box office.
trafalgartickets.com
November 9, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Heading to Southend-on-Sea tonight for my 11th show of the tour. Every show has been really fun (even Northampton) and I’m loving performing it. Would love a few more people tonight - if you’re in the area then come along! 8pm start. trafalgartickets.com/palace-theat...
Live your life so people don’t write preemptive obituaries about you in advance of their own deaths because they really really have some stuff to say…
This is quite something
A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death.
Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."
Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."
Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
November 9, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Live your life so people don’t write preemptive obituaries about you in advance of their own deaths because they really really have some stuff to say…
Observed the two minute silence on a train today. Reminded me of a lovely joke from Michael Fabbri from when he worked in a Job Centre:
A man walked in during the 2 minute silence and said “what’s going on?” “We’re observing a 2 minute silence” “Oh for fuck’s sake, how long’s that going to last?”
A man walked in during the 2 minute silence and said “what’s going on?” “We’re observing a 2 minute silence” “Oh for fuck’s sake, how long’s that going to last?”
November 9, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Observed the two minute silence on a train today. Reminded me of a lovely joke from Michael Fabbri from when he worked in a Job Centre:
A man walked in during the 2 minute silence and said “what’s going on?” “We’re observing a 2 minute silence” “Oh for fuck’s sake, how long’s that going to last?”
A man walked in during the 2 minute silence and said “what’s going on?” “We’re observing a 2 minute silence” “Oh for fuck’s sake, how long’s that going to last?”
This is quite something
A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death.
Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."
Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."
Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
James Watson, dead at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers
James Watson, the co-discoverer of the structure of DNA who died Thursday at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers.
www.statnews.com
November 9, 2025 at 11:16 AM
This is quite something
I’d love to see the scale on this graph
November 8, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I’d love to see the scale on this graph
When I’m cleaning windows
November 8, 2025 at 10:43 PM
When I’m cleaning windows
Just joining in really
November 8, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Just joining in really
Thank you Taunton! You were a lovely bunch and I’ll remember Claire’s concerns about marmalade for some time…
November 8, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Thank you Taunton! You were a lovely bunch and I’ll remember Claire’s concerns about marmalade for some time…
Fireworks shop owner who hates November
YouTube video by Matt Green Comedy
youtu.be
November 8, 2025 at 7:28 PM
First classic tour dinner experience tonight. I’m the only person in a totally empty and silent restaurant with decor that feels quite 1970s. Food isn’t bad though.
November 8, 2025 at 6:33 PM
First classic tour dinner experience tonight. I’m the only person in a totally empty and silent restaurant with decor that feels quite 1970s. Food isn’t bad though.