Mutable Joe
@mutablejoe.bsky.social
this is a low flying panic attack
Whereʼs the cue ball going??!??!?? To heaven because it has died
Bloody hell just seen this "tribute" to John Virgo on Facebook. Possibly the worst thing I've ever seen.
And will this snooker ball be the new Paddington? (Or penguin, I can't keep up).
And will this snooker ball be the new Paddington? (Or penguin, I can't keep up).
February 9, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Whereʼs the cue ball going??!??!?? To heaven because it has died
Reposted by Mutable Joe
Ah, 9 February. The 358th anniversary of Samuel Pepys reading a dirty book, and explaining to his diary that it’s all right for a gentleman to read something like that, but not for, you know, those common people with their filthy minds 🧵
February 9, 2026 at 9:33 AM
Ah, 9 February. The 358th anniversary of Samuel Pepys reading a dirty book, and explaining to his diary that it’s all right for a gentleman to read something like that, but not for, you know, those common people with their filthy minds 🧵
MAN ANNOUNCES HE WILL NOT BE SHITTING IN DOWNSTAIRS TOILET
Father of three Mutable Joe has confirmed he will "not be shitting" in the downstairs toilet because his family have confirmed they "do not like it" when he does that. He reports feeling "upbeat" and "confident" about it not happening.
Father of three Mutable Joe has confirmed he will "not be shitting" in the downstairs toilet because his family have confirmed they "do not like it" when he does that. He reports feeling "upbeat" and "confident" about it not happening.
February 9, 2026 at 2:12 PM
MAN ANNOUNCES HE WILL NOT BE SHITTING IN DOWNSTAIRS TOILET
Father of three Mutable Joe has confirmed he will "not be shitting" in the downstairs toilet because his family have confirmed they "do not like it" when he does that. He reports feeling "upbeat" and "confident" about it not happening.
Father of three Mutable Joe has confirmed he will "not be shitting" in the downstairs toilet because his family have confirmed they "do not like it" when he does that. He reports feeling "upbeat" and "confident" about it not happening.
Love these headlines
BREAKING: Keir Starmer is not resigning and will be 'concentrating on the job in hand', Downing Street has said
His mood this morning has been described as 'upbeat' and 'confident'
His mood this morning has been described as 'upbeat' and 'confident'
February 9, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Love these headlines
happy birthday! *terrible birthday sticker of a dancing cake*
February 9, 2026 at 12:46 AM
happy birthday! *terrible birthday sticker of a dancing cake*
Reposted by Mutable Joe
I'm no taller since that day
February 7, 2026 at 11:37 PM
I'm no taller since that day
pls enjoy a picture of me on my 3rd birthday with the awesome Van Halen guitar cake my mum made
February 7, 2026 at 8:24 PM
pls enjoy a picture of me on my 3rd birthday with the awesome Van Halen guitar cake my mum made
[watching curling]
after 1 min: ugh this is dull
10 min: spin on that stone is off
30 mins: three in the house means nothing if your centre guard is ripe for a pick and roll
1 hour: SWEEP BITCH SWEEP
after 1 min: ugh this is dull
10 min: spin on that stone is off
30 mins: three in the house means nothing if your centre guard is ripe for a pick and roll
1 hour: SWEEP BITCH SWEEP
February 7, 2026 at 2:51 PM
[watching curling]
after 1 min: ugh this is dull
10 min: spin on that stone is off
30 mins: three in the house means nothing if your centre guard is ripe for a pick and roll
1 hour: SWEEP BITCH SWEEP
after 1 min: ugh this is dull
10 min: spin on that stone is off
30 mins: three in the house means nothing if your centre guard is ripe for a pick and roll
1 hour: SWEEP BITCH SWEEP
love a bit of curling
February 7, 2026 at 2:46 PM
love a bit of curling
gently pulling your trousers up at the knees before sitting
What "core British values" has "the left" not defended? Can someone ask this sentient fucking saucepan what he means?
Keir Starmer attacks the racism of Reform and Matt Goodwin but then adds that "Britain has also been let down by a mindset on the left of politics that is too slow to defend core British values"
February 5, 2026 at 3:28 PM
gently pulling your trousers up at the knees before sitting
wait this is a good joke
February 4, 2026 at 5:31 PM
wait this is a good joke
amazing how mandleson kept getting new jobs, he is the infinitely recurring mandlebrot
February 4, 2026 at 5:20 PM
amazing how mandleson kept getting new jobs, he is the infinitely recurring mandlebrot
some genius somewhere had a web page that loaded slowly so they put a little spinny wheel on top and we all just agreed yes, this is entertaining, let the web page load slowly
February 4, 2026 at 5:16 PM
some genius somewhere had a web page that loaded slowly so they put a little spinny wheel on top and we all just agreed yes, this is entertaining, let the web page load slowly
in stranger things if you have spent a period in the upside down can you deduct that time from gross income
February 4, 2026 at 5:04 PM
in stranger things if you have spent a period in the upside down can you deduct that time from gross income
if it's david mitchell i suppose i have to go along with it
February 4, 2026 at 5:01 PM
if it's david mitchell i suppose i have to go along with it
i'm going to be honest, i haven't thought about this before, but let's say yes
February 4, 2026 at 5:01 PM
i'm going to be honest, i haven't thought about this before, but let's say yes
right side we're nose buddies!
February 4, 2026 at 4:57 PM
right side we're nose buddies!
got a cold which is not weird, but, and bear with me, all the snot is in one nostril, yeah that's right things got interesting
February 4, 2026 at 4:56 PM
got a cold which is not weird, but, and bear with me, all the snot is in one nostril, yeah that's right things got interesting
this is the blumhouse bonekickers
February 4, 2026 at 2:21 PM
this is the blumhouse bonekickers
"mandelson" is an interesting word, it derives from the medieval "mandelsoner" which describes a long pole sailors would use to remove rotting seaweed from whale anuses
February 4, 2026 at 2:19 PM
"mandelson" is an interesting word, it derives from the medieval "mandelsoner" which describes a long pole sailors would use to remove rotting seaweed from whale anuses
I think he might be brilliant
February 3, 2026 at 4:43 PM
I think he might be brilliant
"baby can we do it again" not until I find the gong mallet
February 3, 2026 at 4:39 PM
"baby can we do it again" not until I find the gong mallet
mark bolan sounds so cool and sexy but getting it on then banging a gong then getting it on again is a strange way to make love
February 3, 2026 at 4:37 PM
mark bolan sounds so cool and sexy but getting it on then banging a gong then getting it on again is a strange way to make love
I'll make it painless but I will be sarcastically yapping at it
February 3, 2026 at 4:32 PM
I'll make it painless but I will be sarcastically yapping at it