Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
From the twelve-winded sky. Profile pic 1972.
Discord: jimmerthatisall
My posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2satfah44msc3khoojnhrvuj/feed/aaab3adsokgse
Discord: jimmerthatisall
My posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2satfah44msc3khoojnhrvuj/feed/aaab3adsokgse
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
November 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Accidentally texted "Olay" instead of "Okay" and now my text has a smooth, youthful look.
November 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Accidentally texted "Olay" instead of "Okay" and now my text has a smooth, youthful look.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
May 12, 2024 at 10:32 PM
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
If today were a person I would punch it in the face <3
October 21, 2025 at 8:20 PM
If today were a person I would punch it in the face <3
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
They’re using our tax dollars to blow up fishermen while letting families and senior citizens starve
October 30, 2025 at 12:26 AM
They’re using our tax dollars to blow up fishermen while letting families and senior citizens starve
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Who even cares if people are "abusing" benefits system? The rich are abusing everything and no-one bats an eye.
October 31, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Who even cares if people are "abusing" benefits system? The rich are abusing everything and no-one bats an eye.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
I just made dessert by wrapping store-bought chocolate pudding in a warm tortilla. Do not fuck with me
October 31, 2025 at 1:48 AM
I just made dessert by wrapping store-bought chocolate pudding in a warm tortilla. Do not fuck with me
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
sunday gloomies can kiss my arse
November 9, 2025 at 5:23 AM
sunday gloomies can kiss my arse
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
accidentally wore my i’m a pussy ass bitch t-shirt and now i’m in congress
November 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
accidentally wore my i’m a pussy ass bitch t-shirt and now i’m in congress
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
when my late mother was alive she would have never had sex with any of you stop lying you’re gross
November 10, 2025 at 1:54 PM
when my late mother was alive she would have never had sex with any of you stop lying you’re gross
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
woke up still so furious that during my morning run i stopped to pop some car tires with my teeth
November 10, 2025 at 12:46 PM
woke up still so furious that during my morning run i stopped to pop some car tires with my teeth
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
can they rise to the moment? no. can they rise to the moment in the future? also no.
November 10, 2025 at 12:47 AM
can they rise to the moment? no. can they rise to the moment in the future? also no.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
this is my raven go quoth your own
November 9, 2025 at 8:57 PM
this is my raven go quoth your own
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
sometimes i get all sentimental about the human race but then i talk to some of them and it’s like oh yeah right
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
sometimes i get all sentimental about the human race but then i talk to some of them and it’s like oh yeah right
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
You can learn a lot about somebody by the little jean jackets they make for stray cats
November 10, 2025 at 5:01 PM
You can learn a lot about somebody by the little jean jackets they make for stray cats
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Every drawer can be a junk drawer if you commit to it.
November 6, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Every drawer can be a junk drawer if you commit to it.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Went to reach into my jacket pocket and pulled out a small handful of Kleenex tissues.
The metamorphosis is complete. I have become my mother.
The metamorphosis is complete. I have become my mother.
November 9, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Went to reach into my jacket pocket and pulled out a small handful of Kleenex tissues.
The metamorphosis is complete. I have become my mother.
The metamorphosis is complete. I have become my mother.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
November 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Eating extra fiber to help my shitposts flow more smoothly
November 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Eating extra fiber to help my shitposts flow more smoothly
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.
November 6, 2025 at 3:25 AM
You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Watching this 2012 documentary “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”
I had no idea our president had a such an exciting secret life.
I had no idea our president had a such an exciting secret life.
November 9, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Watching this 2012 documentary “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”
I had no idea our president had a such an exciting secret life.
I had no idea our president had a such an exciting secret life.
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Not so much blind drunk as just wanna rest my eyes a little drunk
November 1, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Not so much blind drunk as just wanna rest my eyes a little drunk
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
i am in my dark winter suffering cocoon rn but i promise one day soon i will emerge a fucking hilarious goofball butterfly
November 9, 2025 at 3:14 AM
i am in my dark winter suffering cocoon rn but i promise one day soon i will emerge a fucking hilarious goofball butterfly
Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle
if your doctor prescribes a medicine or treatment or orders a test for you, it should be illegal for your insurance company to deny paying for your care.
October 27, 2025 at 1:03 PM
if your doctor prescribes a medicine or treatment or orders a test for you, it should be illegal for your insurance company to deny paying for your care.