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My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 3, 2023 at 1:13 AM
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
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This probably isn’t the developers’ top priority (although it should be), but I’d love to see the Bluesky app have an option to switch to the Julian calendar for those of us who reject the lies of Pope Gregory XIII
February 9, 2025 at 12:31 AM
This probably isn’t the developers’ top priority (although it should be), but I’d love to see the Bluesky app have an option to switch to the Julian calendar for those of us who reject the lies of Pope Gregory XIII
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I'm always just trying to recapture the magic of seeing Psycho Goreman for the first time
January 31, 2025 at 8:43 PM
I'm always just trying to recapture the magic of seeing Psycho Goreman for the first time
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It’s the freaking weekend, I’m about to continue reading my phone
February 1, 2025 at 1:56 AM
It’s the freaking weekend, I’m about to continue reading my phone
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I bet mead drunk at 1 am at the tavern hit when the minstrel play that banger
January 15, 2025 at 8:59 PM
I bet mead drunk at 1 am at the tavern hit when the minstrel play that banger
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If I was a teen who lost access to tiktok I would simply learn to appreciate the professionalism and higher production values of linear broadcast television
January 15, 2025 at 2:10 AM
If I was a teen who lost access to tiktok I would simply learn to appreciate the professionalism and higher production values of linear broadcast television
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*googles how to breathe correctly while married
January 11, 2025 at 3:26 PM
*googles how to breathe correctly while married
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you really have to hand it to fetuses for inventing one of the most comfortable positions to ever exist
January 2, 2025 at 9:50 PM
you really have to hand it to fetuses for inventing one of the most comfortable positions to ever exist
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I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.
December 29, 2024 at 6:36 PM
I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.
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SOMMELIER: It's aromatic, elegant and clean, with classical aromas of long aging in the barrel
WIFE: Decadent but not overdone, with cedar, licorice and tea leaves
ME: *holding a cork against each side of my neck* I'm Frankenwine
WIFE: Decadent but not overdone, with cedar, licorice and tea leaves
ME: *holding a cork against each side of my neck* I'm Frankenwine
December 23, 2024 at 10:42 AM
SOMMELIER: It's aromatic, elegant and clean, with classical aromas of long aging in the barrel
WIFE: Decadent but not overdone, with cedar, licorice and tea leaves
ME: *holding a cork against each side of my neck* I'm Frankenwine
WIFE: Decadent but not overdone, with cedar, licorice and tea leaves
ME: *holding a cork against each side of my neck* I'm Frankenwine
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me: (a person who does not say swear words) anyone want to watch Jurbuttic Park?
December 23, 2024 at 9:06 PM
me: (a person who does not say swear words) anyone want to watch Jurbuttic Park?
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CORMAC MCCARTHY: He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.
JOE ROGAN: sure. I've met guys like that
JOE ROGAN: sure. I've met guys like that
December 18, 2024 at 2:25 AM
CORMAC MCCARTHY: He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.
JOE ROGAN: sure. I've met guys like that
JOE ROGAN: sure. I've met guys like that
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I tried to kill a victorian child with a modern thing but they just chugged a pint of cheap gin stabbed me and scampered up a chimney
July 3, 2024 at 6:00 PM
I tried to kill a victorian child with a modern thing but they just chugged a pint of cheap gin stabbed me and scampered up a chimney
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It has been a, uh, difficult week but I have not laughed louder and harder at something in a very long time than at this.
December 15, 2024 at 11:58 PM
It has been a, uh, difficult week but I have not laughed louder and harder at something in a very long time than at this.
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imagine watching the television series amc “the terror” on this bad boy
December 11, 2024 at 11:21 PM
imagine watching the television series amc “the terror” on this bad boy
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Sometimes you get high and start waxing idiotic about how The Simpsons is about the journey from Judaism ("Abraham" Simpson) to Hellenism ("Homer" Simpson) and then finally to Christianity ("Bartholomew" Simpson) and then someone tells you to shut the fuck up, and they’re right to do so.
November 18, 2024 at 9:40 PM
Sometimes you get high and start waxing idiotic about how The Simpsons is about the journey from Judaism ("Abraham" Simpson) to Hellenism ("Homer" Simpson) and then finally to Christianity ("Bartholomew" Simpson) and then someone tells you to shut the fuck up, and they’re right to do so.
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In 1921, the schooner Carroll A. Deering was found adrift off NC's coast—a ghost ship with 11 vanished souls. Damaged gear, missing boats, eerie behavior... Mutiny? Pirates? Something darker? Join us as we board this haunted mystery! 🌊👻 #AstonishingLegends #Podcast
November 24, 2024 at 4:03 AM
In 1921, the schooner Carroll A. Deering was found adrift off NC's coast—a ghost ship with 11 vanished souls. Damaged gear, missing boats, eerie behavior... Mutiny? Pirates? Something darker? Join us as we board this haunted mystery! 🌊👻 #AstonishingLegends #Podcast
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I miss when being a rich asshole was about being in the news for donating 3 wings to the local library and then vanishing in your hot air balloon while attempting to circumnavigate antarctica
September 21, 2024 at 1:02 AM
I miss when being a rich asshole was about being in the news for donating 3 wings to the local library and then vanishing in your hot air balloon while attempting to circumnavigate antarctica
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I loved #Furiosa but it does strongly imply that despite their flaws, Immortan Joe, The People Eater and the Bullet Farmer are effective administrators. 😳 #AndyWatches #MadMax
May 26, 2024 at 11:04 PM
I loved #Furiosa but it does strongly imply that despite their flaws, Immortan Joe, The People Eater and the Bullet Farmer are effective administrators. 😳 #AndyWatches #MadMax
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Roger Corman’s funeral should come in on time, under budget and with enough footage to use in three additional funerals.
RIP, Roger Corman, a true film great, and absolutely the only one to also have about 20 different executive produced and/or directed films appear on MST3K.
May 12, 2024 at 3:20 AM
Roger Corman’s funeral should come in on time, under budget and with enough footage to use in three additional funerals.
