Philip Michaels
@philipmichaels.bsky.social
This gun for hire if you need someone who can write pretty and make other people write pretty. Here, I mostly just talk about sports and movies and whatever's grinding my gears at the moment.
Pinned
Well, all things come to an end, and so, just shy of 11 years, I am no longer employed by Tom's Guide.
If you're looking for a guy who can mash sentences together real good, feel free to give me a jingle.
If you're looking for a guy who can mash sentences together real good, feel free to give me a jingle.
Inside of you, there are two wolves. Unfortunately, both are Gavin Newsom.
The two separate lives of Gavin Newsom detailed in new memoir
The two separate lives of Gavin Newsom detailed in new memoir
In his new memoir "Young Man in a Hurry," Gov. Gavin Newsom writes about the occasional interludes into his father's life charmed by the Getty oil family's affluence and the everyday struggle living with his single mom.
www.latimes.com
February 15, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Inside of you, there are two wolves. Unfortunately, both are Gavin Newsom.
The California Post will be the paper that’s forcibly read to me when they stash me in Gitmo.
Had to pull over in WeHo last week to snap this pic. Dumbest shit imaginable. Nobody was buying bagels.
February 15, 2026 at 3:33 AM
The California Post will be the paper that’s forcibly read to me when they stash me in Gitmo.
More like MACramento State, amirite, send skeet, delete account
NEWS: The MAC has voted to add Sacramento State into the league as a football-only member, @RossDellenger reports👀
https://www.on3.com/news/report-mac-votes-sacramento-state-into-leauge-as-football-only-member/
https://www.on3.com/news/report-mac-votes-sacramento-state-into-leauge-as-football-only-member/
February 15, 2026 at 2:47 AM
More like MACramento State, amirite, send skeet, delete account
I’m sure the people being detained in gulags are quite distressed about the rising cost of a Whitman’s Sampler.
Romance alert: Trump's reckless tariffs have Valentine’s Day costs up across the board:
Roses 🌹16.6%
Chocolates🍫 18.7%
Ribeye 🥩 25.4%
Restaurant meals 🍽️ 4.9%
Roses 🌹16.6%
Chocolates🍫 18.7%
Ribeye 🥩 25.4%
Restaurant meals 🍽️ 4.9%
February 14, 2026 at 7:01 PM
I’m sure the people being detained in gulags are quite distressed about the rising cost of a Whitman’s Sampler.
Tell the biathlon teams to empty out their pockets.
Olympians ran out of Milan's complimentary condoms just three days into the competition.
Winter Olympians Run Through Free Condoms in Record Time
Despite a smaller athlete pool, they wasted no time ransacking the free stash.
trib.al
February 13, 2026 at 6:32 PM
Tell the biathlon teams to empty out their pockets.
"I run a bum fight ring on the outskirts of Oslo. I hope you can forgive me."
GUESS WHO JUST WON BRONZE AGAIN
February 13, 2026 at 3:02 PM
"I run a bum fight ring on the outskirts of Oslo. I hope you can forgive me."
Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2024 Olympics: Ah, it’s great how into the Olympics this guy is.
Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2026 Olympics : Oh Christ, this guy again.
Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2026 Olympics : Oh Christ, this guy again.
February 13, 2026 at 7:28 AM
Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2024 Olympics: Ah, it’s great how into the Olympics this guy is.
Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2026 Olympics : Oh Christ, this guy again.
Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2026 Olympics : Oh Christ, this guy again.
That's a big ol' 1 for your old pal Philsey, who apparently is just a remorseless eating machine, except as it pertains to cottage cheese.
(Not going to pretend I go out of my way to eat coconut, black licorice or lima beans, but I can knock them out without a fuss.)
(Not going to pretend I go out of my way to eat coconut, black licorice or lima beans, but I can knock them out without a fuss.)
February 12, 2026 at 11:16 PM
That's a big ol' 1 for your old pal Philsey, who apparently is just a remorseless eating machine, except as it pertains to cottage cheese.
(Not going to pretend I go out of my way to eat coconut, black licorice or lima beans, but I can knock them out without a fuss.)
(Not going to pretend I go out of my way to eat coconut, black licorice or lima beans, but I can knock them out without a fuss.)
While it pales in import to Ivan Dixon's work on "The Spook Who Sat by the Door" or his performance in "Nothing But a Man," he also directed 13 episodes of "Magnum PI" and in this house, we amplify Magnum-adjacent projects.
Ivan Dixon, who played Sgt Kinchloe, later directed a film about radical Black revolutionaries. FBI pressured theaters to cease showing the film, and all but 1 copy was destroyed.
Want to know more? See our Kickstarter for "Hogan's Heroes and Postwar America"
www.kickstarter.com/projects/lee...
Want to know more? See our Kickstarter for "Hogan's Heroes and Postwar America"
www.kickstarter.com/projects/lee...
Coming soon: Hogan's Heroes and Post War America
An 8-episode documentary video pod about the making of the show, the actors' lives, American history, and learning to laugh at Nazis
www.kickstarter.com
February 12, 2026 at 9:03 PM
While it pales in import to Ivan Dixon's work on "The Spook Who Sat by the Door" or his performance in "Nothing But a Man," he also directed 13 episodes of "Magnum PI" and in this house, we amplify Magnum-adjacent projects.
I wish I could tell you there was an easy shortcut you could employ to disable Face ID on your iPhone if you're approached by John Q. Law. But for that to happen, Apple's going to need to get involved: sixcolors.com/post/2026/02...
Apple should rethink Face ID settings for our current era
Through no fault of Apple, Face ID is having a moment — and not in a good way. Sure, the biometric security feature works as well as it ever does, using a face scan to unlock your iPhone, con…
sixcolors.com
February 12, 2026 at 8:21 PM
I wish I could tell you there was an easy shortcut you could employ to disable Face ID on your iPhone if you're approached by John Q. Law. But for that to happen, Apple's going to need to get involved: sixcolors.com/post/2026/02...
Republican investigator, watching and rewatching the Super Bowl halftime show: Hmmmm, still Latino.
Republican lawmakers claim that they are "still investigating" the Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime amid baseless Internet rumors.
awfulannouncing.com/nfl/republic...
awfulannouncing.com/nfl/republic...
Republicans say they're investigating Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime show
Republican lawmakers claim that they are "still investigating" the Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime amid baseless Internet rumors.
awfulannouncing.com
February 12, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Republican investigator, watching and rewatching the Super Bowl halftime show: Hmmmm, still Latino.
What could possibly go wrong?
Nick Wright has one last idea to save the NBA All-Star Game.
White guys vs Black guys.
awfulannouncing.com/nba/nick-wri...
White guys vs Black guys.
awfulannouncing.com/nba/nick-wri...
Nick Wright offers solution for NBA All-Star Game: 'White guys vs. Black guys'
As the NBA All-Star Game continues to fade into oblivion, Nick Wright has a way of bringing it back like never before.
awfulannouncing.com
February 12, 2026 at 4:19 PM
What could possibly go wrong?
The YouTube algorithm has decided I need to watch Bob Hope introduce the AP All-American football team on his old holiday specials. The YouTube algorithm knows me well.
February 12, 2026 at 5:36 AM
The YouTube algorithm has decided I need to watch Bob Hope introduce the AP All-American football team on his old holiday specials. The YouTube algorithm knows me well.
Apparently, my metric for failing to rally behind an Olympic athlete is “They look like they’d be rude to food servers.”
February 12, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Apparently, my metric for failing to rally behind an Olympic athlete is “They look like they’d be rude to food servers.”
This reboot of Watership Down has taken a grim turn.
Speaker at Department of Labor Secretary's monthly prayer service: "Everybody has to work. Even at home, I expect my rabbit to work."
February 11, 2026 at 6:01 PM
This reboot of Watership Down has taken a grim turn.
In which I reveal that I'm smarter than Joel McHale, or at least smarter than Joel McHale's character on Animal Control. sixcolors.com/post/2026/02...
Here’s how to recover deleted iPhone photos, Joel McHale
Sometimes I can’t help myself. The other day, while watching an episode of “Animal Control”1, I realized that I have been writing about technology so long that I can’t even …
sixcolors.com
February 11, 2026 at 5:34 PM
In which I reveal that I'm smarter than Joel McHale, or at least smarter than Joel McHale's character on Animal Control. sixcolors.com/post/2026/02...
Catapults are what I'll make
Walking on the moon
With the ketamine I take
Walking on the moon
Walking on the moon
With the ketamine I take
Walking on the moon
Elon Musk told employees at xAI, his artificial intelligence company, on Tuesday that the company needed a factory on the moon to build A.I. satellites and a massive catapult to launch them into space.
Elon Musk Wants to Build an A.I. Satellite Factory on the Moon
In a meeting with employees at his company xAI, Mr. Musk revealed a vision for a facility that includes a giant catapult to launch his satellites into space.
nyti.ms
February 11, 2026 at 3:42 PM
Catapults are what I'll make
Walking on the moon
With the ketamine I take
Walking on the moon
Walking on the moon
With the ketamine I take
Walking on the moon
I, for one, am relieved that the messiest athletes at these Olympic games are also the ones that are most heavily armed.
THE OLYMPICS OF BIATHLON MESS CONTINUES
GOLD MEDAL FOR THE WOMAN WHO STOLE HER TEAMMATE'S CREDIT CARDS
GOLD MEDAL FOR THE WOMAN WHO STOLE HER TEAMMATE'S CREDIT CARDS
February 11, 2026 at 3:03 PM
I, for one, am relieved that the messiest athletes at these Olympic games are also the ones that are most heavily armed.
Caldo verde, gang.
February 11, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Caldo verde, gang.
And occasionally agree with it if you’re one of his podcast guests.
Gov. Newsom heads to Munich conference to challenge Trump's vision for U.S.
Gov. Newsom heads to Munich conference to challenge Trump's vision for U.S.
Newsom will speak about climate issues at a security conference in Munich.
www.latimes.com
February 11, 2026 at 12:51 AM
And occasionally agree with it if you’re one of his podcast guests.
Reposted by Philip Michaels
Like 75% of the US Olympic curlers are from Minnesota. A lot of them curl out of two clubs in Saint Paul, one club is in Frogtown, a neighborhood that has been very heavily targeted by ICE. These curlers are good neighbors.
US Olympic Curling Team member speaks out against ICE:
"I'm proud to represent Team USA. But we'd be remiss if we didn't mention what's going on in Minnesota and what a tough time it's been. What's happening is wrong. There's no shades of gray."
"I'm proud to represent Team USA. But we'd be remiss if we didn't mention what's going on in Minnesota and what a tough time it's been. What's happening is wrong. There's no shades of gray."
February 10, 2026 at 10:03 PM
Like 75% of the US Olympic curlers are from Minnesota. A lot of them curl out of two clubs in Saint Paul, one club is in Frogtown, a neighborhood that has been very heavily targeted by ICE. These curlers are good neighbors.
Reposted by Philip Michaels
This was well done by @jacobfeldman.bsky.social (it's very helpful.
But also.... maybe leagues and networks shouldn't make this so confusing to the point where a full 16-box flow chart is required to figure out how to watch baseball.
But also.... maybe leagues and networks shouldn't make this so confusing to the point where a full 16-box flow chart is required to figure out how to watch baseball.
February 10, 2026 at 9:47 PM
This was well done by @jacobfeldman.bsky.social (it's very helpful.
But also.... maybe leagues and networks shouldn't make this so confusing to the point where a full 16-box flow chart is required to figure out how to watch baseball.
But also.... maybe leagues and networks shouldn't make this so confusing to the point where a full 16-box flow chart is required to figure out how to watch baseball.
All bronze medalists should have to confess their sins
new most bizarre moment of the Olympics just dropped
Norwegian biathlete wins bronze medal, then, totally unprompted, reveal he cheated on his GF, she left him, and he wants to apologize publicly hoping she takes him back
www.vg.no/sport/i/vr5g...
Norwegian biathlete wins bronze medal, then, totally unprompted, reveal he cheated on his GF, she left him, and he wants to apologize publicly hoping she takes him back
www.vg.no/sport/i/vr5g...
February 10, 2026 at 5:22 PM
All bronze medalists should have to confess their sins
When Roger Goodell leaves town and takes his weather-controlling machine with him.
February 10, 2026 at 3:42 PM
When Roger Goodell leaves town and takes his weather-controlling machine with him.
February 10, 2026 at 3:42 AM