ℳatt
@matttomic.bsky.social
Uncool adult. From the other site.
Boomers learning the slang expression "FAFO" and becoming obsessed with it might be the worst thing to happen to the lexicon since boomers learned about the word "woke"
January 3, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Boomers learning the slang expression "FAFO" and becoming obsessed with it might be the worst thing to happen to the lexicon since boomers learned about the word "woke"
Here's newest Blue Jays infielder Kazuma Okamoto hitting two towering no-doubt bombs off of Trevor Bauer in one game
January 3, 2026 at 9:59 PM
Here's newest Blue Jays infielder Kazuma Okamoto hitting two towering no-doubt bombs off of Trevor Bauer in one game
Reposted by ℳatt
Pretty good opportunity to show you're really the darts champion imo.
oh man an errant bee has invaded the stage of the world darts championship final
January 3, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Pretty good opportunity to show you're really the darts champion imo.
My cousin (Canadian-born, but has lived in Philly for years) was detained in ICE custody in Pennsylvania for over 1 year, all over a work visa issue.
He was held in a cramped facility with over a hundred detainees per room. He endured psychological hell. He witnessed suicides of other detainees.
He was held in a cramped facility with over a hundred detainees per room. He endured psychological hell. He witnessed suicides of other detainees.
Canadians have been kidnapped and disappeared in the US immigration detentions system.
This hasn't happened anywhere in Europe.
This hasn't happened anywhere in Europe.
January 3, 2026 at 8:40 PM
My cousin (Canadian-born, but has lived in Philly for years) was detained in ICE custody in Pennsylvania for over 1 year, all over a work visa issue.
He was held in a cramped facility with over a hundred detainees per room. He endured psychological hell. He witnessed suicides of other detainees.
He was held in a cramped facility with over a hundred detainees per room. He endured psychological hell. He witnessed suicides of other detainees.
The Government of Canada having foreign travel advisories for "exercise high degree of caution" for most of Western Europe, but still keeping the USA in full green, is insane.
travel.gc.ca/travelling/a...
travel.gc.ca/travelling/a...
January 3, 2026 at 7:22 PM
The Government of Canada having foreign travel advisories for "exercise high degree of caution" for most of Western Europe, but still keeping the USA in full green, is insane.
travel.gc.ca/travelling/a...
travel.gc.ca/travelling/a...
Ahead of the Iraq invasion they did months of manufacturing consent. They went to the UN and lied and had satellite photos with arrows on them and all that. Full-court PR press.
It's like they forgot to do all that this time around. They hit the Netflix "skip intro" button on a coup.
It's like they forgot to do all that this time around. They hit the Netflix "skip intro" button on a coup.
January 3, 2026 at 6:01 PM
Ahead of the Iraq invasion they did months of manufacturing consent. They went to the UN and lied and had satellite photos with arrows on them and all that. Full-court PR press.
It's like they forgot to do all that this time around. They hit the Netflix "skip intro" button on a coup.
It's like they forgot to do all that this time around. They hit the Netflix "skip intro" button on a coup.
What a weak, bland statement from the Minister of Foreign Affairs.
Your neighbour is bombing other houses on the block and claiming their houses for their own and you statement is basically "the homeowners' association is aware and monitoring."
Your neighbour is bombing other houses on the block and claiming their houses for their own and you statement is basically "the homeowners' association is aware and monitoring."
Please see my statement on the situation in Venezuela:
January 3, 2026 at 5:52 PM
What a weak, bland statement from the Minister of Foreign Affairs.
Your neighbour is bombing other houses on the block and claiming their houses for their own and you statement is basically "the homeowners' association is aware and monitoring."
Your neighbour is bombing other houses on the block and claiming their houses for their own and you statement is basically "the homeowners' association is aware and monitoring."
(Wheezy near-death Trump voice): they call it the Monroe Doctrine, it's a very beautiful doctrine, many people don't know about it, you think Monroe you think about those legs with the sewer blowing up the skirt but she also wrote a very perfect doctrine,
January 3, 2026 at 5:37 PM
(Wheezy near-death Trump voice): they call it the Monroe Doctrine, it's a very beautiful doctrine, many people don't know about it, you think Monroe you think about those legs with the sewer blowing up the skirt but she also wrote a very perfect doctrine,
Not sure there's ever been a more "American (pejorative)" day on the timeline than the college football game where fans and players drink mayonnaise straight out of the jar followed immediately by the US army attempting a South American coup
January 3, 2026 at 7:23 AM
Not sure there's ever been a more "American (pejorative)" day on the timeline than the college football game where fans and players drink mayonnaise straight out of the jar followed immediately by the US army attempting a South American coup
I'm worried this might tarnish the good name of the FIFA Peace Prize.
January 3, 2026 at 7:16 AM
I'm worried this might tarnish the good name of the FIFA Peace Prize.
Look at this Zillow listing for an unremarkable-looking $1.3M Toronto house, swipe through the photos, and just start counting the number of beds.
Just picture the amount of quasilegal tenants that this slumlord has crammed into this one building.
www.zillow.com/homedetails/...
Just picture the amount of quasilegal tenants that this slumlord has crammed into this one building.
www.zillow.com/homedetails/...
www.zillow.com
January 3, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Look at this Zillow listing for an unremarkable-looking $1.3M Toronto house, swipe through the photos, and just start counting the number of beds.
Just picture the amount of quasilegal tenants that this slumlord has crammed into this one building.
www.zillow.com/homedetails/...
Just picture the amount of quasilegal tenants that this slumlord has crammed into this one building.
www.zillow.com/homedetails/...
Reposted by ℳatt
It’s absolutely crazy how awful X, or Twitter, is now. The Grok stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. I went over there for five minutes to do my banking and it was absolutely appalling.
January 3, 2026 at 3:22 AM
It’s absolutely crazy how awful X, or Twitter, is now. The Grok stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. I went over there for five minutes to do my banking and it was absolutely appalling.
I haven't seen Marty Supreme but every review I see makes me more and more confused, people will just be like
"It's like Ernest Goes to Uncut Gems"
"It's Mother! meets Angels In The Outfield"
"It's like an AI trained on David Fincher made neo-noir Dodgeball"
and the poster is just "Ping Pong"
"It's like Ernest Goes to Uncut Gems"
"It's Mother! meets Angels In The Outfield"
"It's like an AI trained on David Fincher made neo-noir Dodgeball"
and the poster is just "Ping Pong"
January 3, 2026 at 2:31 AM
I haven't seen Marty Supreme but every review I see makes me more and more confused, people will just be like
"It's like Ernest Goes to Uncut Gems"
"It's Mother! meets Angels In The Outfield"
"It's like an AI trained on David Fincher made neo-noir Dodgeball"
and the poster is just "Ping Pong"
"It's like Ernest Goes to Uncut Gems"
"It's Mother! meets Angels In The Outfield"
"It's like an AI trained on David Fincher made neo-noir Dodgeball"
and the poster is just "Ping Pong"
The only good war story of 2025 was that time a bunch of Ukrainian drones blew up all of Russia's airbases. It checked everything I ask for in a story:
1. no actual human death,
2. Michael Bay-style explosions,
3. Looney Tunes tricks to blow up $8 billion worth of military tech with toy helicopters
1. no actual human death,
2. Michael Bay-style explosions,
3. Looney Tunes tricks to blow up $8 billion worth of military tech with toy helicopters
January 2, 2026 at 8:10 PM
The only good war story of 2025 was that time a bunch of Ukrainian drones blew up all of Russia's airbases. It checked everything I ask for in a story:
1. no actual human death,
2. Michael Bay-style explosions,
3. Looney Tunes tricks to blow up $8 billion worth of military tech with toy helicopters
1. no actual human death,
2. Michael Bay-style explosions,
3. Looney Tunes tricks to blow up $8 billion worth of military tech with toy helicopters
gonna start hitting people with the Larry David beginning on January 3rd
January 2, 2026 at 7:46 PM
gonna start hitting people with the Larry David beginning on January 3rd
With Kentucky bourbon being off the shelves in most of Canada for almost a year now, Canadian distillers have started openly flaunting the legal designations around the term "bourbon" by advertising their own imitations with names like "BRBN" and "Berbon"
January 2, 2026 at 4:11 PM
With Kentucky bourbon being off the shelves in most of Canada for almost a year now, Canadian distillers have started openly flaunting the legal designations around the term "bourbon" by advertising their own imitations with names like "BRBN" and "Berbon"
I'm just worried that the handsomeness of a potential Hunk Line of Jack Eichel flanked by the two Tkachuk brothers might be too distracting for opponents.
The USA men's Olympic roster is here.
It’s clear the United States feels confident that its style of play at the 4 Nations Face-Off and the camaraderie created within the team can lead to a third Olympic gold medal and the first since 1980 in Milan.
It’s clear the United States feels confident that its style of play at the 4 Nations Face-Off and the camaraderie created within the team can lead to a third Olympic gold medal and the first since 1980 in Milan.
January 2, 2026 at 3:36 PM
I'm just worried that the handsomeness of a potential Hunk Line of Jack Eichel flanked by the two Tkachuk brothers might be too distracting for opponents.
Reposted by ℳatt
Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment https://theonion.com/mom-wants-to-know-if-you-could-use-grandma-s-antique-1-1831765783/
January 1, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment https://theonion.com/mom-wants-to-know-if-you-could-use-grandma-s-antique-1-1831765783/
This Heated Rivalry promotion is getting wild
January 2, 2026 at 5:43 AM
This Heated Rivalry promotion is getting wild
Shoutout to the Korean Netflix show Culinary Class Wars for perfecting the ideal dynamic between two reality TV judges: one affable country bumpkin who just loves to munch, and one foppish anime villain
January 2, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Shoutout to the Korean Netflix show Culinary Class Wars for perfecting the ideal dynamic between two reality TV judges: one affable country bumpkin who just loves to munch, and one foppish anime villain
Reposted by ℳatt
A List of Predictions Made in 1926 About 2026
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January 1, 2026 at 5:13 PM
A List of Predictions Made in 1926 About 2026
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If you start watching THE IRISHMAN right now at 2:55 AM on January 1, you will be able to ring in the new year 2027 when the credits roll as the clock strikes midnight
January 1, 2026 at 7:56 AM
If you start watching THE IRISHMAN right now at 2:55 AM on January 1, you will be able to ring in the new year 2027 when the credits roll as the clock strikes midnight
Four good things I ate in 2025
1. Burger with braised short rib, Yellowbelly Brewery, St John's
2. Seared foie gras on sushi rice with maple ponzu, Au Pied de Cochon, Montreal
3. Emmental and ham croquettes, restaurant name forgotten, Paris
4. Mac's Pizza, white pie slice, Toronto
1. Burger with braised short rib, Yellowbelly Brewery, St John's
2. Seared foie gras on sushi rice with maple ponzu, Au Pied de Cochon, Montreal
3. Emmental and ham croquettes, restaurant name forgotten, Paris
4. Mac's Pizza, white pie slice, Toronto
January 1, 2026 at 2:03 AM
Four good things I ate in 2025
1. Burger with braised short rib, Yellowbelly Brewery, St John's
2. Seared foie gras on sushi rice with maple ponzu, Au Pied de Cochon, Montreal
3. Emmental and ham croquettes, restaurant name forgotten, Paris
4. Mac's Pizza, white pie slice, Toronto
1. Burger with braised short rib, Yellowbelly Brewery, St John's
2. Seared foie gras on sushi rice with maple ponzu, Au Pied de Cochon, Montreal
3. Emmental and ham croquettes, restaurant name forgotten, Paris
4. Mac's Pizza, white pie slice, Toronto
I regret to inform you the Quebecois New Year's Eve broadcast has been compromised by American meme brainrot
January 1, 2026 at 1:35 AM
I regret to inform you the Quebecois New Year's Eve broadcast has been compromised by American meme brainrot
New Order of Canada appointees for 2025 just dropped: www.gg.ca/en/appointme...
HELL YEAH NARDWUAR or as we will now know him Nardwuar The Human Serviette, C.M.
HELL YEAH NARDWUAR or as we will now know him Nardwuar The Human Serviette, C.M.
December 31, 2025 at 7:37 PM
New Order of Canada appointees for 2025 just dropped: www.gg.ca/en/appointme...
HELL YEAH NARDWUAR or as we will now know him Nardwuar The Human Serviette, C.M.
HELL YEAH NARDWUAR or as we will now know him Nardwuar The Human Serviette, C.M.