ℳatt
@matttomic.bsky.social
Uncool adult. From the other site.
📍Toronto
📍Toronto
Reposted by ℳatt
Appears this is also true for fascism.
January 24, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Appears this is also true for fascism.
I hope it's not lost on anyone that the exact same motherfuckers on the Canadian right who spent decades wielding the idea of Canadian Patriotism like a cudgel, talking about "real Canadians", accusing every opponent of "hating Canada", are now pivoting to a platform of literal treason
January 23, 2026 at 5:26 PM
I hope it's not lost on anyone that the exact same motherfuckers on the Canadian right who spent decades wielding the idea of Canadian Patriotism like a cudgel, talking about "real Canadians", accusing every opponent of "hating Canada", are now pivoting to a platform of literal treason
Maybe I'm just in a rut, maybe it's just aging, but, I'm at a point where I read on the calendar that it's Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil and I just feel *nothing*.
January 23, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Maybe I'm just in a rut, maybe it's just aging, but, I'm at a point where I read on the calendar that it's Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil and I just feel *nothing*.
Contemplating going to Denmark and everything I read is like "Danes are rude"
But then others are like "Danes aren't rude they're just shy and lack a word for 'please' and refuse to use Sir/Mr. pleasantries so everything comes out flat. but they warm up after 5 beers"
Honestly they sound rad
But then others are like "Danes aren't rude they're just shy and lack a word for 'please' and refuse to use Sir/Mr. pleasantries so everything comes out flat. but they warm up after 5 beers"
Honestly they sound rad
January 23, 2026 at 4:14 AM
Contemplating going to Denmark and everything I read is like "Danes are rude"
But then others are like "Danes aren't rude they're just shy and lack a word for 'please' and refuse to use Sir/Mr. pleasantries so everything comes out flat. but they warm up after 5 beers"
Honestly they sound rad
But then others are like "Danes aren't rude they're just shy and lack a word for 'please' and refuse to use Sir/Mr. pleasantries so everything comes out flat. but they warm up after 5 beers"
Honestly they sound rad
I love when a website presents me with the options "subscribe to our newsletter" or "no thanks, I'm a stupid selfish moron who doesn't support free speech and journalism."
buddy can I have a third option for "I'm just literally here because I googled a question and I'll be gone in 3 seconds"
buddy can I have a third option for "I'm just literally here because I googled a question and I'll be gone in 3 seconds"
January 22, 2026 at 11:01 PM
I love when a website presents me with the options "subscribe to our newsletter" or "no thanks, I'm a stupid selfish moron who doesn't support free speech and journalism."
buddy can I have a third option for "I'm just literally here because I googled a question and I'll be gone in 3 seconds"
buddy can I have a third option for "I'm just literally here because I googled a question and I'll be gone in 3 seconds"
Oh God the retro dance nights are officially branding as "2010s Nights" now???
January 22, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Oh God the retro dance nights are officially branding as "2010s Nights" now???
I never want to hear about Grok "malfunctioning" or "going rogue". It's a machine that Elon openly advertised to his customers as a porn machine, and it made porn at a scale unseen in human history, much of it non-consensual, until they reprogrammed it to stop.
The machine worked as advertised.
The machine worked as advertised.
Musk’s participation in the bikini trend opened the floodgates. Grok went from making 300k images a week to 4.4 million. Read more from me, @dylanfreedman.nytimes.com and @stuartathompson.bsky.social: www.nytimes.com/2026/01/22/t...
January 22, 2026 at 4:34 PM
I never want to hear about Grok "malfunctioning" or "going rogue". It's a machine that Elon openly advertised to his customers as a porn machine, and it made porn at a scale unseen in human history, much of it non-consensual, until they reprogrammed it to stop.
The machine worked as advertised.
The machine worked as advertised.
Reposted by ℳatt
You know who else had holes in his hands.
January 22, 2026 at 3:46 PM
You know who else had holes in his hands.
I'm a bit mad that Naked Gun didn't get nominated for "Best Snowman Sex Scene". What I'm really surprised by is that there were five other movies that did get nominated in that category.
January 22, 2026 at 3:45 PM
I'm a bit mad that Naked Gun didn't get nominated for "Best Snowman Sex Scene". What I'm really surprised by is that there were five other movies that did get nominated in that category.
Reposted by ℳatt
Canadians you are not prepared for the temperature he tells you he is experiencing here.
January 21, 2026 at 10:21 PM
Canadians you are not prepared for the temperature he tells you he is experiencing here.
Jonas Valanciunas and Nikola Jokic blind-ranking animals they could beat in a fight is the video I never knew I was missing in my life
January 22, 2026 at 12:01 AM
Jonas Valanciunas and Nikola Jokic blind-ranking animals they could beat in a fight is the video I never knew I was missing in my life
Reposted by ℳatt
Q: How do I unlock Sunglasses Macron?
A: It's very difficult to unlock Sunglasses Macron in the course of a normal game because it requires a specific and unlikely sequence of events. While default Macron is ruler of France, the USA must choose the monarchy path and then lay claim to Greenland.
A: It's very difficult to unlock Sunglasses Macron in the course of a normal game because it requires a specific and unlikely sequence of events. While default Macron is ruler of France, the USA must choose the monarchy path and then lay claim to Greenland.
January 20, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Q: How do I unlock Sunglasses Macron?
A: It's very difficult to unlock Sunglasses Macron in the course of a normal game because it requires a specific and unlikely sequence of events. While default Macron is ruler of France, the USA must choose the monarchy path and then lay claim to Greenland.
A: It's very difficult to unlock Sunglasses Macron in the course of a normal game because it requires a specific and unlikely sequence of events. While default Macron is ruler of France, the USA must choose the monarchy path and then lay claim to Greenland.
Reposted by ℳatt
![A two-panel cartoon (by me).
Panel 1: two stereotypical mobsters, wielding a baseball bat, threaten a sad-looking hot dog cart owner: "Your hot dog stand is safe, for now, but it would be a shame if you do not cooperate and something were to happen to it"
Panel 2: A journalist appears in a fedora with PRESS on it, and jotting in his notebook, writes: "Hot dog stand [...] safe, mafia confirms"
this is about Greenland in case subtext doesn't convey well in alt text for my visually impaired friends](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:bumu6s332o24fppobse7j3ms/bafkreidm7q5ad4sxlfien6pgnwwo27tufmmr7jus2x2hytwb55xgij6otu@jpeg)
Surely that's not the same Doug Ford who drives a made-in-Kentucky Lincoln Navigator and a made-in-Texas Cadillac Escalade lecturing MY ass about the perils of buying foreign cars
January 21, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Surely that's not the same Doug Ford who drives a made-in-Kentucky Lincoln Navigator and a made-in-Texas Cadillac Escalade lecturing MY ass about the perils of buying foreign cars
The history of Canadian defense schemes to plan for a potential US invasion go back over a hundred years.
The original plan, from the 1920s, involved an audacious counter-attack to seize Seattle, Minneapolis, Albany and Maine while waiting for British backup.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence...
The original plan, from the 1920s, involved an audacious counter-attack to seize Seattle, Minneapolis, Albany and Maine while waiting for British backup.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence...
January 21, 2026 at 8:08 PM
The history of Canadian defense schemes to plan for a potential US invasion go back over a hundred years.
The original plan, from the 1920s, involved an audacious counter-attack to seize Seattle, Minneapolis, Albany and Maine while waiting for British backup.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence...
The original plan, from the 1920s, involved an audacious counter-attack to seize Seattle, Minneapolis, Albany and Maine while waiting for British backup.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence...
Blue Jays fans: happy 15th anniversary of the trade that broke everyone's brains when the Jays managed to trade the (aging, expensive) Vernon Wells to the Angels on Jan 21 2011 in a move that equally baffled every single Jays fan, Angels fan and pundit
January 21, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Blue Jays fans: happy 15th anniversary of the trade that broke everyone's brains when the Jays managed to trade the (aging, expensive) Vernon Wells to the Angels on Jan 21 2011 in a move that equally baffled every single Jays fan, Angels fan and pundit
What seems like a disproportionately large number of Venezuelans signing with the only MLB team in Canada. Why is anyone's guess.
January 21, 2026 at 6:15 PM
What seems like a disproportionately large number of Venezuelans signing with the only MLB team in Canada. Why is anyone's guess.
Nostalgic for the days when Davos was just about Will.I.Am, Mark Cuban and Ben Bernanke sitting on a suede couch and saying shit like "Creativity is the new Microchip" while the world's biggest LinkedIn psychopaths nodded
January 21, 2026 at 3:51 PM
Nostalgic for the days when Davos was just about Will.I.Am, Mark Cuban and Ben Bernanke sitting on a suede couch and saying shit like "Creativity is the new Microchip" while the world's biggest LinkedIn psychopaths nodded
Reposted by ℳatt
TFW you realize in the longue duree historians will view the fall of the Soviet and US empires as basically taking place simultaneously
January 21, 2026 at 3:33 AM
TFW you realize in the longue duree historians will view the fall of the Soviet and US empires as basically taking place simultaneously
Reposted by ℳatt
A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is.
December 16, 2025 at 9:57 PM
A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is.
(reporter voice) "can you confirm reports the President had his nutsack sucked into the AF1 toilet by a high-powered flush and he's currently stuck to the toilet seat"
LEAVITT: "the only nuts I wanna talk about are the left-wing nuts at NBC News who have been sucked into the plumbing of Democracy"
LEAVITT: "the only nuts I wanna talk about are the left-wing nuts at NBC News who have been sucked into the plumbing of Democracy"
January 21, 2026 at 5:48 AM
(reporter voice) "can you confirm reports the President had his nutsack sucked into the AF1 toilet by a high-powered flush and he's currently stuck to the toilet seat"
LEAVITT: "the only nuts I wanna talk about are the left-wing nuts at NBC News who have been sucked into the plumbing of Democracy"
LEAVITT: "the only nuts I wanna talk about are the left-wing nuts at NBC News who have been sucked into the plumbing of Democracy"
Flight-tracking nerds are on the frontlines of our nation's battle of Maybe Being Excited Over Something. Whether it's a dead president or MLB signing or Taylor Swift up to some bullshit, we can all briefly look at "line on map go bloop" and, just for a brief moment, Feel Something.
January 21, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Flight-tracking nerds are on the frontlines of our nation's battle of Maybe Being Excited Over Something. Whether it's a dead president or MLB signing or Taylor Swift up to some bullshit, we can all briefly look at "line on map go bloop" and, just for a brief moment, Feel Something.