ℳatt
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matttomic.bsky.social
ℳatt
@matttomic.bsky.social
Uncool adult. From the other site.
Reposted by ℳatt
*teenage dirtbag voice* drinking the homemade turkey gravy
November 14, 2025 at 2:44 PM
When you're playing an NHL game against your little nephew but don't want to score so you intentionally press the wrong button
Never in a million years would you guess what happens in this video
November 27, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Reposted by ℳatt
thinking of her today
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
So in other words Justin Bieber... went... golfing?
November 26, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Canada sacrificed 6/7 of our hockey teams at the blood sacrifice altar so that our baseball and basketball team could live
November 26, 2025 at 10:31 PM
November 26, 2025 at 10:19 PM
The Beer Store's a bygone relic with no reason to exist in 2025. (Budweiser & Coors having exclusivity on beer case sales sounds like an illegal monopoly today.)

On the other hand they're really good at recycling.

So they're basically only being kept alive as recycling depots that also sell beer
November 26, 2025 at 9:54 PM
What taking rail transit instead of flying ONCE does to a person
November 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
this old guy's truck is the correct energy to have as a retiree
November 26, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Just heard back from the folks at Guinness and I'm pleased to announce that in the 2026 Edition I am once again tied for the record of World's Tallest 5'11 Man
November 26, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Reposted by ℳatt
Handing back student work that’s been written by ChatGPT with a 0 followed by the comment “This essay will never stand in authentic wonder before the Beauty of God’s creation.”
Pope Leo XIV told students not to use artificial intelligence for homework, saying that AI ‘won’t stand in authentic wonder before the beauty of God’s creation.’
Even God Is Worried About ChatGPT
Pope Leo XIV told students not to use artificial intelligence for homework, saying that AI ‘won’t stand in authentic wonder before the beauty of God’s creation.’
www.vulture.com
November 26, 2025 at 3:35 PM
This was a fun read! I love a good Canadianism and as someone who called something a "gong show" as recently as yesterday I had no idea it was uniquely Canadian
November 26, 2025 at 3:26 PM
As part of the Raptors' 8-game win streak, the team posts a locker room victory photo after each game, and my favourite ongoing bit is how Gradey Dick hits the exact same tough-guy pose in the same spot in all of them
November 26, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Still mad at the NYT Crossword the other day for cluing
"It may bring out the kid in you"
for
"CESAREAN"
November 25, 2025 at 9:51 PM
They did live tracking in Texas Republican focus groups as they read out the Shamwow Guy's bio, and it tested through the ROOF
November 25, 2025 at 12:36 AM
What I love about the Chair Company and Tim Robinson's comedy style more broadly is that the whole premise is "what if we took our normal universe but everything feels Off by about a 10% margin"
November 24, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Reposted by ℳatt
It's Monday. So I thought I'd checka my email.
flashy: homestarrunner.com/sbemails/210...
tubey: youtu.be/-zhsNdk1_Vc?si
November 24, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Is there anything more American than a minor league baseball team rebranding itself after the road rage they experience at a specific poorly-designed 6-way intersection
November 24, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Amidst two MLB players being criminally charged for colluding with gamblers, a reminder that in order to watch 9 MLB teams you need to watch a cable channel literally named after an online gambling app
November 24, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Top Gun Maverick was on TV last night and I forgot how much that movie rips. Just a perfectly-paced action movie.
November 22, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Reposted by ℳatt
aged 79 and a half, Donald Trump made his second ever friend.
November 21, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Arguing with JD Vance feels like taking the bait but still:

1. Per capita GDP is not a measure of "standard of living"
2. US GDP/capita is highly skewed by the outlier ultra-wealthy 0.01% class
3. Canadians, as a median, earn more money, work fewer hours, and live longer than Americans
JD Vance shares some opinions on Canada:
November 21, 2025 at 5:18 PM
The only member of ZZ Top without a beard is their drummer, Frank Beard.
Man, everything is so bleak, anyone got a fun fact or little bit of trivia they want to share
November 21, 2025 at 2:59 AM
(Bob Marley voice)
November 21, 2025 at 1:01 AM
lots of Grok screenshots on the feed lately (thanks for that guys) and it's hard to quantify but there's something I hate *so much* about the way Grok writes, especially its closing sentences where it tries to wrap everything up in a little "point and a wink" slogan
November 20, 2025 at 11:04 PM