ℳatt
LightNews LightNews
banner
matttomic.bsky.social
ℳatt
@matttomic.bsky.social
4.3K followers 130 following 4.9K posts
Uncool adult. From the other site.
Posts Replies Media Videos
matttomic.bsky.social
They're calling him the World's Least Suspicious Lawyer

(this is from an unrelated story in 2017 where he was investigated for smuggling his client's letters out of jail to sway witnesses in a murder trial)
Through the years, Paradkar has not shied away from the spotlight in legal cases. While many lawyers give brief statements to reporters (if any at all) Paradkar is known for giving long interviews on the courthouse steps, answering any and all questions. Until recently, his Instagram username was "@cocaine_lawyer." That account has since been deleted. A Toronto Sun story detailed some of the posts from his account, like a shot of his yellow Lamborghini with the comment: "Cocaine pays lol!!!" as well as photos of police-seized drugs and guns with the caption, "100 kilos of K 4 kilos of cocaine, 5 guns, Uzi, glock — NOT GUILTY!"
November 19, 2025 at 6:08 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
An average lawyer will defend you in court.

A good lawyer personally hooks you up with cocaine traffickers to work with.

A GREAT lawyer accepts bribes of luxury watches in order to share privileged information about other clients from the drug underworld for the purposes of having them murdered.
U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi called Wedding the largest distributor of cocaine in Canada, describing his operation as “one of the most prolific and violent drug trafficking organizations in the world.” Wedding is accused of working closely with the Sinaloa cartel to flood “not only American but Canadian communities with cocaine coming from Colombia,” Bondi said. His criminal enterprise is said to be responsible for bringing approximately 60 metric tonnes — about the weight of 40 standard cars — from Mexico into Los Angeles each year. According to a news release from the U.S. Treasury Department, Paradkar introduced Wedding to the traffickers who have been shipping his cocaine. Paradkar is also accused of taking payment to let Wedding eavesdrop on privileged communications between the lawyer and his other clients — “several of whom Wedding wished to murder.”
November 19, 2025 at 6:00 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
Yeah man I'm no legal expert but that seems like advice you should not be giving your client
www.thestar.com/news/canada/...
TORONTO STAR: A well-known GTA defence lawyer — who posted about his successes under the social media handle @Cocaine_lawyer — has been arrested on explosive U.S. allegations he advised wanted drug lord and ex-Olympian Ryan Wedding to murder an FBI witness in Colombia. The arrest of Brampton lawyer Deepak Paradkar was announced by U.S. authorities as part of a sweeping set of new developments in the ongoing case against Wedding, who was labelled Canada’s most prolific cocaine trafficker at a news conference in Washington, D.C., on Wednesday. Paradkar, who was described as Wedding’s lawyer at the press conference, “advised him to kill this witness,” said Bill Essayli, the first assistant U.S. attorney at the Central District of California. His lawyer told him: “‘If you kill this witness, the case will be dismissed,’” Essayli said.
November 19, 2025 at 5:52 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
getting ads from the "Geeks Outfit Store" of ugly sweaters that say "Ohh... this calls for a Word document"

??? no one has ever said this calls for a document? Are you thinking of spreadsheets?
An ugly blue and beige Christmas sweater with the text OHH... THIS CALLS FOR A DOCUMENT with the Microsoft Word logo
November 19, 2025 at 4:53 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
not the Hefty Bag Extra Flex pants. The Derelicte Collection pants.
Team Canada crinkled grey pants looking like a garbage bag A Hefty garbage bag
November 18, 2025 at 4:43 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
Web outage causing Truth Social AND Grindr to crash at the same time, what are Republican Congressmen going to do with their day
According to DownDector.com, several sites saw an increase of outages reported Tuesday morning, including: X Spotify OpenAI League of Legends Grindr Google Store Archive of Our Own Uber Quizlet Canva Claude AI Character AI Indeed Truth Social Dayforce ChatGPT Letterboxd Square Rover Zoom Canvas Ikea
November 18, 2025 at 3:50 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
You see this Olivia Nuzzi folks? I think we might be ready to start calling her Olivia Nutty...
Jay Leno monologue
November 18, 2025 at 1:18 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
He thought his phone was in selfie mode
An uncomfortable closeup of RFK Jr's leathery wrinkled left eye
November 18, 2025 at 1:03 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
The government on the brink of collapse as half of parliament yells out an annoyed "C'mon Gord" reads like a broad parody of Canada
C’mon Gord Catharine Tunney The Conservative benches have erupted with calls for NDP Gord Johns to stand up and vote against the bill. “C’mon Gord.” He remained seated.
November 18, 2025 at 12:08 AM
matttomic.bsky.social
Look deep into Mac's eyes and you know this is a dog that understands Buffalo sports fandom in his soul. This dog knows which way Scott Norwood missed. This dog knows Brett Hull's foot was in the crease.
A zoomed out lens view of Mac the newfoundland and his big snoot and his sad golden eyes
November 17, 2025 at 7:46 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
Mac I simply cannot stand you, you are too stupid and wonderful
Mac the Newfoundland looking very stupid and cute in his Sabres jersey
November 17, 2025 at 7:37 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
The Buffalo Sabres have a new team dog and I fear I love him
Sabres introduce 2025-26 team dog, Mac Mac is currently training to become a service dog through the "Pawsitive for Heroes" program. Mac the sweet-eyed brown Newfoundland puppy in a custom Buffalo Sabres jersey with his little toe beans sticking out and his big drool dripping mouth
November 17, 2025 at 7:34 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
the Ingolorious Basterds "three fingers" scene where the British spy gives himself away to the Nazis the British spy is labeled "the student that never answered a question in class all semester submitting their final essay" the three fingers with the ring finger instead of a thumb is "em dash" the suspicious smirking Nazi is "the professor"
November 17, 2025 at 7:09 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
A 1-0 Grey Cup score for maybe the last time ever before they nuke the rouge next season
Tattered Canadian flag
November 17, 2025 at 12:09 AM
matttomic.bsky.social
I love the Grey Cup because all the cheerleaders are trying to look cute while wearing gear that is usually reserved for solo climbing K2
A photo of my TV as cheerleaders from across the CFL are bundled up in parkas
November 16, 2025 at 11:12 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
One thing I like about the Grey Cup is that it's just beat to shit. Blue collar trophy. Designed to be dropped by drunk guys.
A Riders player inspects the dented up Grey Cup ahead of the Grey Cup a few years ago A Hamilton fan holds the Grey Cup once again looking dented to shit
November 16, 2025 at 9:51 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
This post from the Blue Jays subreddit is actually a really solid guide of who to trust in the MLB offseason

www.reddit.com/r/Torontoblu...
S Tier - Take his word as gold. Jeff Passan • Jeff Passan is the only MLB reporter who will stay away from the rumours and will tweet actual news. If someone else in the lower tiers (we'll get to) has tweeted a signing, wait for Jeff to confirm. A Tier - They generally don't bullshit. Robert Murray, Mark Feinsand, Shi Davidi (Jays) • Robert Murray tends not to bullshit, when he reports a signing it's usually true, he just doesn't always get the big news. Like...he could break where Ryan O'Hearn signs, but probably not Kyle Tucker. • Feinsand is one of the senior MLB reporters, also tends not to BS with signings or rumours. • Shi Davidi has an l-am-above-rumours stick up his butt so when he does break something once in a blue moon, it's generally the truth. B Tier - Proceed with caution*:* Local beat reporters • Teams local beat reporters may sometimes have inside information just through the nature of the relationships they've built around the team, so they're not as easy to discount. • However, it's important to note which outlets they write for - if they're from credible outlets (e.g. The Athletic, MLB, The Associated Press, local papers) then maybe more credence is due. • If they're "writers" for a Fansided blog, an Al sports outlet like Sports Illustrated, or any other fan-driven media/ podcast etc, discount entirely. F Tier - assume bullshit until confirmed by Passan: Jon Morosi, Jon Heyman, Bob Nightengale, Ken Rosenthal, Francys Romero • Ken Rosenthal used to be A tier but my goodness how the mighty have fallen. He is now among the premier rumour-mongers and no man loves his own narratives as much as he does. • Heyman is a known Boras mouthpiece so believe literally nothing he says about any Boras client. • Morosi loves hearing himself talk - I genuinely like him as a person but don't believe any rumour he says and agents fuck with him soooo much. • Bob Nightengale literally wrote that article I quoted above
November 15, 2025 at 8:31 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
Jesus Christ.
“I get 10 messages, DMs (direct messages) a game, (saying), ‘F— you, I’m gonna f— your family up,” one player said. “I personally hate gambling. Hate everyone talking about parlays this, parlays that. I hate getting DMs in my Instagram talking about, ‘You f—– up my parlay.’ I hate people sending me threats because I messed up their parlay,” another said. Terrible. Hate them. Every game, no matter if it’s a good game or bad game, you’ve got motherf—— sending death threats, saying racist s—. Every game. I guarantee you, if I check right now, I’ll probably have something from this game. Every game. Everywhere. DMs, Twitter. People be tripping, bro,” a player said. “I hope it doesn’t happen, but it’s going to come to a point where players are going to be targeted because people have lost so much money on them. That’s what I think. But hopefully I’m wrong.”
November 15, 2025 at 3:44 AM
matttomic.bsky.social
Immediately after "All-Star" on the Shrek soundtrack you get a Rufus Wainwright cover of "Hallelujah". What an insane mood swerve.
Limited Edition picture disc vinyl featuring Shrek's head. Limited quantities available. Tracklist: Side A 1 Stay Home (Performed By Self) 2 I'm a Believer (Performed By Smash Mouth) 3 Like Wow! (Performed By Leslie Carter) 4 It Is You (I Have Loved) (Performed By Dana Glover) 5 Best Years of Our Lives (Performed By Baha Men) 6 Bad Reputation (Performed By Halfcocked) 7 My Beloved Monster (Performed By Eels) Side B 1 You Belong to Me (Performed By Jason Wade) 2 All Star (Performed By Smash Mouth) 3 Hallelujah (Performed By Rufus Wainwright) 4 I'm on My Way (Performed By the Proclaimers) 5 I'm a Believer (Reprise) (Performed By Eddie Murphy) 6 True Love's First Kiss (Original Score)
November 15, 2025 at 12:53 AM
matttomic.bsky.social
(Dimming the lights, lighting a few candles, heading over to the record player)

Lemme put on something to... set the mood...
Shrek (Original Soundtrack) Exclusive Picture Disc Artist: Various Artists $32.99 Limited Edition picture disc vinyl featuring Shrek's head. Limited quantities available. Tracklist: Side A 1 Stay Home (Performed By Self) 2 I'm a Believer (Performed By Smash Mouth) 3 Like Wow! (Performed By Leslie Carter) 4 It Is You (I Have Loved) (Performed By Dana Glover) 5 Best Years of Our Lives (Performed By Baha Men) 6 Bad Reputation (Performed By Halfcocked) 7 My Beloved Monster (Performed By Eels) Side B 1 You Belong to Me (Performed By Jason Wade) 2 All Star (Performed By Smash Mouth) 3 Hallelujah (Performed By Rufus Wainwright) 4 I'm on My Way (Performed By the Proclaimers) 5 I'm a Believer (Reprise) (Performed By Eddie Murphy) 6 True Love's First Kiss (Original Score) Close up of the Shrek limited edition picture vinyl
November 14, 2025 at 10:09 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
The Australian Democracy Manifest clip but the guy is saying "what is the charge? Enjoying a song? A succulent Johnny Cash song?"
November 14, 2025 at 5:13 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
Joe Pesci in Goodfellas saying "Funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you?"
November 14, 2025 at 4:03 AM
matttomic.bsky.social
I'm sorry but what the fuck is the MLB Entertainer of the Year Award
@talkingbaseball Vladimir Guerrero Jr wins MLB's first ever Entertainer of the Year Award!
November 14, 2025 at 3:52 AM
matttomic.bsky.social
The Padme-Anakin "for the better right?" meme but Anakin is Mark Carney saying "We're investing in a major energy project to transition away from oil" and Natalie Portman is going "Sustainable energy that will replace fossil fuels, right?" Jokes on her! LNG is just another type of fossil fuel!
November 13, 2025 at 8:55 PM
matttomic.bsky.social
This LNG processing plant on the coast of BC that Carney just fasttracked as a project of national interest is for a project that will be 100% American-owned.

Elbows something something!

(also they keep calling it an Indigenous-led project despite 4 of the 6 local bands opposing it)
Who is the owner and operator? Ksi Lisims LNG is being developed in partnership between the Nisga’a Nation, Rockies LNG Ltd. Partnership and Western LNG. But documents show the project’s assets will be constructed, owned and operated by wholly owned subsidiaries of Western LNG, based in Houston, Texas. Who opposes the project? While the Nisga’a Nation is a partner in the project, four of six other First Nations asked to provide consent did not grant it, and numerous environmental groups are also opposed. The project faces separate legal challenges from the Lax Kw’alaams Band and the Metlakatla First Nation. Both allege the Minister of Environment and Climate Change ignored their concerns about adverse impacts and say they have outstanding Aboriginal title claims for the Mylor Peninsula, where construction of a transmission line is needed to power the facility.
November 13, 2025 at 8:46 PM