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@dopeshow.bsky.social
Cigarette butt collector, esquire.
Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk
Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk
Pinned
"I made gnocchi"
"It's gnocchi"
"That's what I said, gnocchi"
"GNOCCHI!!"
"I think we should see other people"
"It's gnocchi"
"That's what I said, gnocchi"
"GNOCCHI!!"
"I think we should see other people"
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*rollerblades by your house
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 PM
*rollerblades by your house
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My new office personality is “woman who’s so cold she uses an electric hand warmer in the shape of a smiling avocado.”
November 12, 2025 at 11:05 PM
My new office personality is “woman who’s so cold she uses an electric hand warmer in the shape of a smiling avocado.”
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You know what this place needs: one of those guys pretending to be his own wife
March 1, 2024 at 10:43 PM
You know what this place needs: one of those guys pretending to be his own wife
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they should invent a urinal with a seat
November 11, 2025 at 11:20 PM
they should invent a urinal with a seat
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I love this time of year when bugs are dying
November 7, 2025 at 8:13 PM
I love this time of year when bugs are dying
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This interviewer has no idea what she's doing. She didn't even ask about my favorite dinosaur
November 12, 2025 at 7:43 PM
This interviewer has no idea what she's doing. She didn't even ask about my favorite dinosaur
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men only want one thing and that's to wear a tshirt until it's just a neckband with two threads hanging off it
November 12, 2025 at 6:40 PM
men only want one thing and that's to wear a tshirt until it's just a neckband with two threads hanging off it
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My guardian angel tries to lure me into traffic.
November 12, 2025 at 5:20 PM
My guardian angel tries to lure me into traffic.
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we’ve lost the plot we don’t even remember why there are little ducks on dish soap bottles
November 12, 2025 at 3:17 AM
we’ve lost the plot we don’t even remember why there are little ducks on dish soap bottles
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enjoying my monthly urge to rip my uterus out of my body
November 12, 2025 at 2:21 PM
enjoying my monthly urge to rip my uterus out of my body
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Do you accept payment in kind? (Cabbages)
November 11, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Do you accept payment in kind? (Cabbages)
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Naming a baby Ebenezer
November 11, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Naming a baby Ebenezer
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While you guys were watching the northern lights, I studied the blade
November 12, 2025 at 5:45 AM
While you guys were watching the northern lights, I studied the blade
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Sky back to normal. Bet you all feel like jackasses
November 12, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Sky back to normal. Bet you all feel like jackasses
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casting a dark spell to make you forget that i didn’t remember your birthday last week
November 12, 2025 at 5:00 AM
casting a dark spell to make you forget that i didn’t remember your birthday last week
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My abomination has a first name.
November 12, 2025 at 3:20 AM
My abomination has a first name.
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No one cares how much better you think New York bagels are, Jennifer. We live in Minneapolis.
November 12, 2025 at 1:46 PM
No one cares how much better you think New York bagels are, Jennifer. We live in Minneapolis.
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I'm just a delicate garment in a machine wash world
November 12, 2025 at 1:56 PM
I'm just a delicate garment in a machine wash world
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If I’ve ever shared a song with you just know that means I would die for you
November 12, 2025 at 2:33 PM
If I’ve ever shared a song with you just know that means I would die for you
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wagyu is by far the tastiest goo
November 12, 2025 at 2:55 PM
wagyu is by far the tastiest goo
Hey, did you guys see the unprecedented radioactive mass solar flare ejection ignite the nitrogen from Earth's thermosphere? The apocalypse is so pretty, hope someone took a picture!
November 12, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Hey, did you guys see the unprecedented radioactive mass solar flare ejection ignite the nitrogen from Earth's thermosphere? The apocalypse is so pretty, hope someone took a picture!
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We don't have the borealis so I'm just rubbing my eyes kinda hard
November 12, 2025 at 4:59 AM
We don't have the borealis so I'm just rubbing my eyes kinda hard
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Give us this day our daily bangers
November 12, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Give us this day our daily bangers
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Me: do you mind if I smoke?
Him: oh I hate cigarette smoke
Me: i meant a ham *puts on chef hat*
Him: oh I hate cigarette smoke
Me: i meant a ham *puts on chef hat*
November 12, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Me: do you mind if I smoke?
Him: oh I hate cigarette smoke
Me: i meant a ham *puts on chef hat*
Him: oh I hate cigarette smoke
Me: i meant a ham *puts on chef hat*
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'wintery mix' is a Canadian weather forecasting term meaning you're gonna fall on a sidewalk today
November 12, 2025 at 12:24 PM
'wintery mix' is a Canadian weather forecasting term meaning you're gonna fall on a sidewalk today