;(
@tomorrowx3.bsky.social
I don’t want to write a description ❤️
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaah6dyfmk6ag
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaah6dyfmk6ag
I was looking for a card that said “I would red dye 40 for you,” but Hallmark isn’t on my level yet.
February 14, 2026 at 9:02 PM
I was looking for a card that said “I would red dye 40 for you,” but Hallmark isn’t on my level yet.
Putting “I’m not a real doctor, but I am a real worm” on my LinkedIn
January 30, 2026 at 12:16 AM
Putting “I’m not a real doctor, but I am a real worm” on my LinkedIn
Everyone is bricking their phone and quitting drinking while I have wine and scroll like hell 😎
January 29, 2026 at 11:50 PM
Everyone is bricking their phone and quitting drinking while I have wine and scroll like hell 😎
Is it intrusive thoughts or the indomitable human spirit?
January 29, 2026 at 1:48 PM
Is it intrusive thoughts or the indomitable human spirit?
Why are there so many realistic cake pranks? When did we start weaponizing cake
January 27, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Why are there so many realistic cake pranks? When did we start weaponizing cake
Reposted by ;(
*flicking a lit cigarette* im not like other Muppet babies
January 26, 2026 at 3:20 PM
*flicking a lit cigarette* im not like other Muppet babies
Going back in time to try to explain cookie dough flavored Oreos until I’m committed
January 27, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Going back in time to try to explain cookie dough flavored Oreos until I’m committed
I finally deleted TikTok. I’ve heard it will be as hard as quitting smoking which is ridiculous, it will be much harder
January 23, 2026 at 8:28 PM
I finally deleted TikTok. I’ve heard it will be as hard as quitting smoking which is ridiculous, it will be much harder
Reposted by ;(
pls know that internally i may be screaming but externally i am also screaming
January 23, 2026 at 11:49 AM
pls know that internally i may be screaming but externally i am also screaming
The moment before the paywall pops up is so pure and hopeful, thinking maybe I too deserve information
January 23, 2026 at 4:30 PM
The moment before the paywall pops up is so pure and hopeful, thinking maybe I too deserve information
Bow tie pasta implies the existence of the rest of the outfit pasta. You’ve been holding out on us, Barilla
January 23, 2026 at 12:37 AM
Bow tie pasta implies the existence of the rest of the outfit pasta. You’ve been holding out on us, Barilla
Born to live in a Richard Scarry world, forced to work in fluorescent lighting
January 22, 2026 at 1:08 AM
Born to live in a Richard Scarry world, forced to work in fluorescent lighting
I lived bitch (survived minor discomforts throughout the day)
January 22, 2026 at 1:05 AM
I lived bitch (survived minor discomforts throughout the day)
If I started a sports team, I would make its mascot the concept of yearning
January 19, 2026 at 11:42 PM
If I started a sports team, I would make its mascot the concept of yearning
Going into an eyeglasses shop and saying, “We don’t want any trouble.”
January 17, 2026 at 10:36 PM
Going into an eyeglasses shop and saying, “We don’t want any trouble.”
One of the more subtle ways to remember that we’re on the darkest timeline is that Dawn changed their dish soap scent to be much worse for absolutely no reason
January 16, 2026 at 9:38 PM
One of the more subtle ways to remember that we’re on the darkest timeline is that Dawn changed their dish soap scent to be much worse for absolutely no reason
TGIF, Urkels and Stefan Urquelles. We survived another week 🫠
January 16, 2026 at 9:27 PM
TGIF, Urkels and Stefan Urquelles. We survived another week 🫠
A word to the wise? The wise don’t need your word. They’re already wise. Give your word to dummies like me.
January 15, 2026 at 12:58 AM
A word to the wise? The wise don’t need your word. They’re already wise. Give your word to dummies like me.
Haters will say it’s AI just because it’s hyperreal and hauntingly empty 🙄
January 13, 2026 at 12:12 AM
Haters will say it’s AI just because it’s hyperreal and hauntingly empty 🙄
Finding a way to wear clothing you bought for a Halloween costume or theme party in normal life is such a win.
January 9, 2026 at 2:26 AM
Finding a way to wear clothing you bought for a Halloween costume or theme party in normal life is such a win.
Hard Pants for Hard Times: A Returning to the Office Story
January 6, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Hard Pants for Hard Times: A Returning to the Office Story
I forgot how to do my job AMA. Actually no please don’t ask me anything 🙂
January 5, 2026 at 2:16 PM
I forgot how to do my job AMA. Actually no please don’t ask me anything 🙂
Reposted by ;(
First date idea: we go to a club with different people and then stand and stare longingly at each other while "All the things she said" plays
January 5, 2026 at 2:41 AM
First date idea: we go to a club with different people and then stand and stare longingly at each other while "All the things she said" plays
If you’re too scared to go back to work tomorrow, you can send the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in your place. People will know it’s not you, but they’ll have bigger problems to deal with.
January 5, 2026 at 1:57 AM
If you’re too scared to go back to work tomorrow, you can send the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in your place. People will know it’s not you, but they’ll have bigger problems to deal with.
Going back in time to tell cave people about how to become Chief Storytelling Officers
January 3, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Going back in time to tell cave people about how to become Chief Storytelling Officers