Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
Buffoon, Drunk, Failure.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
Pinned
Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
· Nov 24
It's Curtains for you, Charlie Brown.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Before Fleetwood Mac made history in 1977 with the release of their album Rumours, no band had ever had the idea to make every song on a record good
August 26, 2024 at 2:43 PM
Before Fleetwood Mac made history in 1977 with the release of their album Rumours, no band had ever had the idea to make every song on a record good
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Jeezus, enough already YouTube. I get it. One of the Rockefeller kids got eaten.
December 29, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Jeezus, enough already YouTube. I get it. One of the Rockefeller kids got eaten.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
[Werner Herzog voice] Mr. Potato Head is a monstrosity. More than a vegetable, yet less than human. With two feet, but no legs. His body parts interchangeable pieces. A grotesque plastic nightmare unworthy of love.
November 18, 2025 at 5:05 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] Mr. Potato Head is a monstrosity. More than a vegetable, yet less than human. With two feet, but no legs. His body parts interchangeable pieces. A grotesque plastic nightmare unworthy of love.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
For best results, it needs to be anal and then nachos and not nachos and then anal
December 29, 2025 at 3:13 AM
For best results, it needs to be anal and then nachos and not nachos and then anal
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Someone take this app away from me before I burn my whole account to the ground
December 29, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Someone take this app away from me before I burn my whole account to the ground
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Whoever invented Christmas should be crucified.
December 20, 2024 at 5:43 AM
Whoever invented Christmas should be crucified.
I won’t watch a show about hockey, no matter how gay it is!
December 28, 2025 at 8:47 PM
I won’t watch a show about hockey, no matter how gay it is!
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
The best part about being old is getting to deliberately infuriate children.
"Now, who would give a frog one of those electric swords?"
"Grandpa, that's Yoda!!"
"Now, who would give a frog one of those electric swords?"
"Grandpa, that's Yoda!!"
November 10, 2024 at 6:30 PM
The best part about being old is getting to deliberately infuriate children.
"Now, who would give a frog one of those electric swords?"
"Grandpa, that's Yoda!!"
"Now, who would give a frog one of those electric swords?"
"Grandpa, that's Yoda!!"
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
It’s Boxing Day in Canada! It’s the one day a year when all Canadians can fist fight their enemies without any legal repercussions.
December 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
It’s Boxing Day in Canada! It’s the one day a year when all Canadians can fist fight their enemies without any legal repercussions.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
The older I get, the more I
sympathize with the Grinch hating all the noise, noise, noise, NOISE
sympathize with the Grinch hating all the noise, noise, noise, NOISE
December 7, 2024 at 5:13 AM
The older I get, the more I
sympathize with the Grinch hating all the noise, noise, noise, NOISE
sympathize with the Grinch hating all the noise, noise, noise, NOISE
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
my cupcakes didn’t rise.
December 27, 2025 at 1:30 AM
my cupcakes didn’t rise.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
now that christmas is over, those ugly sweaters can be used as cum rags
December 26, 2025 at 9:40 PM
now that christmas is over, those ugly sweaters can be used as cum rags
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
A hot turkey sandwich would fix me.
December 27, 2025 at 1:21 AM
A hot turkey sandwich would fix me.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I’m feeling festive, wanna punch me in the face and tell me I’m your slut?
December 27, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I’m feeling festive, wanna punch me in the face and tell me I’m your slut?
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
If I hear anyone say, Ooh La La! My immediate and involuntary response is Sasson.
December 26, 2025 at 11:31 PM
If I hear anyone say, Ooh La La! My immediate and involuntary response is Sasson.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Fun has been banned in Australia. But on the plus side, everything still wants to kill you.
December 26, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Fun has been banned in Australia. But on the plus side, everything still wants to kill you.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Dinner rolls are just a delivery mechanism for butter.
December 25, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Dinner rolls are just a delivery mechanism for butter.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Some are born great, some achieve greatness . . . some of us post shit on social media.
December 26, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Some are born great, some achieve greatness . . . some of us post shit on social media.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Adding an asterisk to every post with IT'S A FUCKING JOKE, YOU DWEEB at the bottom.
December 26, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Adding an asterisk to every post with IT'S A FUCKING JOKE, YOU DWEEB at the bottom.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
alrighty, time to check the reindeer traps for meat
December 25, 2025 at 7:12 AM
alrighty, time to check the reindeer traps for meat
A Clockwork Orange Christmas.
December 25, 2025 at 6:51 AM
A Clockwork Orange Christmas.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
The trick to garlic bread is to make at least 5 times too much of it then eat it all hunched over in the corner of the basement like a rat
November 16, 2024 at 3:16 PM
The trick to garlic bread is to make at least 5 times too much of it then eat it all hunched over in the corner of the basement like a rat
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
If you don't end today having learned a valuable lesson about the meaning of Christmas, then congratulations, you are not the main character in this simulation.
December 25, 2024 at 6:52 PM
If you don't end today having learned a valuable lesson about the meaning of Christmas, then congratulations, you are not the main character in this simulation.
I always thought the line,”Round, young virgin, mother and child,“ meant the virgin mother had a round belly, not that they gathered around her.
December 24, 2025 at 6:03 PM
I always thought the line,”Round, young virgin, mother and child,“ meant the virgin mother had a round belly, not that they gathered around her.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
When they describe baby Jesus as a “holy infant so tender and mild” he sounds like a basket of buffalo wings.
December 23, 2025 at 6:30 PM
When they describe baby Jesus as a “holy infant so tender and mild” he sounds like a basket of buffalo wings.