Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
Buffoon, Drunk, Failure.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
Pinned
Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
· Dec 23
Don't make me use the chicken scissors.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
baptizing the girl who works at Hot Topic in the mall fountain
February 12, 2026 at 3:39 PM
baptizing the girl who works at Hot Topic in the mall fountain
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Reading 1984 to lighten the mood.
February 10, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Reading 1984 to lighten the mood.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Sex so good you start stuttering.
February 11, 2026 at 10:57 PM
Sex so good you start stuttering.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
there are some ladies on here with some large breasts please be careful everyone
February 11, 2026 at 8:17 PM
there are some ladies on here with some large breasts please be careful everyone
"We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies." Happy Valentine's day!
February 11, 2026 at 3:53 PM
"We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies." Happy Valentine's day!
I wish my hair was straight so I could sport the He-Man haircut.
February 11, 2026 at 12:34 AM
I wish my hair was straight so I could sport the He-Man haircut.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Goals lead to disappointments <inspirational>
February 10, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Goals lead to disappointments <inspirational>
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
hey man keep your pompatus in your pants nobody wants to see that thing
February 10, 2026 at 5:14 PM
hey man keep your pompatus in your pants nobody wants to see that thing
How did Batman think over Robin's constant inane chatter?
February 10, 2026 at 3:44 PM
How did Batman think over Robin's constant inane chatter?
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Transferring my consciousness into a gas station pepperoni stick
February 10, 2026 at 4:05 AM
Transferring my consciousness into a gas station pepperoni stick
You know who wears fanny packs? Batman.
February 9, 2026 at 11:54 PM
You know who wears fanny packs? Batman.
I wish I had a basement. You know, for murder and stuff.
February 9, 2026 at 11:49 PM
I wish I had a basement. You know, for murder and stuff.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I act younger than I am because I wasted 20 years of my life
February 9, 2026 at 1:03 PM
I act younger than I am because I wasted 20 years of my life
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Anyway, speaking of corny valentines stuff: Who is it that enjoys wearing the lacy panties with a seam right in the middle of all of it? Pussy prime meridian is ugh
February 9, 2026 at 1:51 AM
Anyway, speaking of corny valentines stuff: Who is it that enjoys wearing the lacy panties with a seam right in the middle of all of it? Pussy prime meridian is ugh
You wanna know what I'm thinking? Why is the A Team theme song always playing in my head? I'm not a bad person, I don't deserve this.
February 9, 2026 at 1:28 AM
You wanna know what I'm thinking? Why is the A Team theme song always playing in my head? I'm not a bad person, I don't deserve this.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I'm more of a parasocial butterfly
February 8, 2026 at 10:36 PM
I'm more of a parasocial butterfly
I wish there was a sculpture of Hercules where he was wearing some damn pants.
February 8, 2026 at 10:40 PM
I wish there was a sculpture of Hercules where he was wearing some damn pants.
I asked the guy at the Home Depot what drill bit I should use for drilling a hole in my skull to let the demons out, but he didn't answer.
February 8, 2026 at 10:39 PM
I asked the guy at the Home Depot what drill bit I should use for drilling a hole in my skull to let the demons out, but he didn't answer.
Think what ever you want, but I say Ferris Bueller ruined that parade.
February 8, 2026 at 10:39 PM
Think what ever you want, but I say Ferris Bueller ruined that parade.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I promised my truck that when it’s time, I’m gonna put it in neutral and let it roll off a ledge into an old quarry
February 6, 2026 at 11:16 PM
I promised my truck that when it’s time, I’m gonna put it in neutral and let it roll off a ledge into an old quarry
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired
February 6, 2026 at 7:46 PM
i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Me, nude, riding a rocking horse: Easy, Sarsaparilla.
February 6, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Me, nude, riding a rocking horse: Easy, Sarsaparilla.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
*a gentle breeze carries a napkin with unintelligible scribbles on it out a bus window*
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
February 6, 2026 at 3:05 PM
*a gentle breeze carries a napkin with unintelligible scribbles on it out a bus window*
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.