Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
Buffoon, Drunk, Failure.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
Pinned
I'll be performing a two hour version of "Piano Man," at the bar tonight, if anyone is interested? I'm not very good and no one likes it.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Well, well, well, if it isn't the person who is about to order their steak wrong.
November 15, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Well, well, well, if it isn't the person who is about to order their steak wrong.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Alternate timeline where the last 32 years of History didn't happen because Bill Clinton and Trump were allowed to be gay lovers by society.
November 15, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Alternate timeline where the last 32 years of History didn't happen because Bill Clinton and Trump were allowed to be gay lovers by society.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
November 14, 2025 at 9:47 PM
The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Cho.
November 15, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Cho.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I'm pretty sure Bill Clinton is a married man
November 15, 2025 at 1:46 AM
I'm pretty sure Bill Clinton is a married man
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
my therapist said I’m not being hard enough on myself
November 14, 2025 at 3:42 PM
my therapist said I’m not being hard enough on myself
I wonder how many other guys Donald Trump sucked off? A bunch of famous names in that list I bet.
November 15, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I wonder how many other guys Donald Trump sucked off? A bunch of famous names in that list I bet.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
If anyone is even remotely nice to me, I assume that they are wearing a wire.
November 14, 2025 at 10:44 PM
If anyone is even remotely nice to me, I assume that they are wearing a wire.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
You kids think saying numbers is cool? 67? How 'bout 9/11? Still having fun? Didn't think so.
November 15, 2025 at 1:36 AM
You kids think saying numbers is cool? 67? How 'bout 9/11? Still having fun? Didn't think so.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Cheeseburger in Portland. Goddam hippies. Meat is murder my ass. This is a good burger though.
November 15, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Cheeseburger in Portland. Goddam hippies. Meat is murder my ass. This is a good burger though.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Why wouldn’t you toot your own horn. What the hell else are you gonna do with it
February 9, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Why wouldn’t you toot your own horn. What the hell else are you gonna do with it
Cheeseburger in Palestine. This is a good cheeseburger, but I don't feel safe.
November 15, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Cheeseburger in Palestine. This is a good cheeseburger, but I don't feel safe.
I wish Elvis had made a Spaghetti Western.
November 15, 2025 at 1:51 AM
I wish Elvis had made a Spaghetti Western.
Why is "Beef" an argument? If I had beef with a woman, it seems like it would be sexy time.
November 15, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Why is "Beef" an argument? If I had beef with a woman, it seems like it would be sexy time.
Cheeseburger in Paris. This is the best cheeseburger I've ever had, but I'm not letting these arrogant bastards know it.
November 15, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Cheeseburger in Paris. This is the best cheeseburger I've ever had, but I'm not letting these arrogant bastards know it.
The way to test if your monster is a Frankenstein, you cut off it's arms and legs, and if they grow back, it's a Frankenstein. If not, you probably had a good time anyway.
November 15, 2025 at 1:46 AM
The way to test if your monster is a Frankenstein, you cut off it's arms and legs, and if they grow back, it's a Frankenstein. If not, you probably had a good time anyway.
As great as the title of Frankenstein Conquers the World is, surprisingly the movie itself makes little sense.
November 15, 2025 at 1:45 AM
As great as the title of Frankenstein Conquers the World is, surprisingly the movie itself makes little sense.
Frankenstein Conquers the World is the best movie title ever.
November 15, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Frankenstein Conquers the World is the best movie title ever.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Cheeseburger in Paradiso, Cheeseburger in Purgatorio, and Cheeseburger in Inferno
November 13, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Cheeseburger in Paradiso, Cheeseburger in Purgatorio, and Cheeseburger in Inferno
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
It must suck being wicked, I love rest
November 13, 2025 at 8:34 PM
It must suck being wicked, I love rest
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
with the the holidays right around the corner, it’s the perfect time to send me exactly eleven hundred dollars
November 14, 2025 at 11:57 PM
with the the holidays right around the corner, it’s the perfect time to send me exactly eleven hundred dollars
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
What’s the serving size for dick?
November 15, 2025 at 1:06 AM
What’s the serving size for dick?
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
transporting a mccrib and referring to it as “the specimen”
November 15, 2025 at 1:23 AM
transporting a mccrib and referring to it as “the specimen”
You know how dangerous it would be to have a dog with Superman powers? What if it got Kryptonian rabies?
November 15, 2025 at 1:34 AM
You know how dangerous it would be to have a dog with Superman powers? What if it got Kryptonian rabies?