betty bah humbug
@betty-cocker.bsky.social
Pinned
“I have tiny hands”
-me flirting
-me flirting
Reposted by betty bah humbug
morpheus showing you how deep the rabbit hole really goes, and it's like 1 foot deep
December 19, 2025 at 6:38 PM
morpheus showing you how deep the rabbit hole really goes, and it's like 1 foot deep
Reposted by betty bah humbug
I'm ready, emotionally, for another Titan submersible disaster
March 23, 2024 at 2:53 AM
I'm ready, emotionally, for another Titan submersible disaster
Reposted by betty bah humbug
Reposted by betty bah humbug
:: record scratch::
I bet you’re wondering how I got here. It was a Thursday when I first told Ricky I could beat him in an arm wrestling contest. I had no idea that by Friday I would have a broken spine.
I bet you’re wondering how I got here. It was a Thursday when I first told Ricky I could beat him in an arm wrestling contest. I had no idea that by Friday I would have a broken spine.
December 19, 2025 at 6:18 PM
:: record scratch::
I bet you’re wondering how I got here. It was a Thursday when I first told Ricky I could beat him in an arm wrestling contest. I had no idea that by Friday I would have a broken spine.
I bet you’re wondering how I got here. It was a Thursday when I first told Ricky I could beat him in an arm wrestling contest. I had no idea that by Friday I would have a broken spine.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
I know some people get excited when they find an onion ring in their fries.
I just found a fry in the sauce with my wings.
Beat THAT!
I just found a fry in the sauce with my wings.
Beat THAT!
December 19, 2025 at 5:31 AM
I know some people get excited when they find an onion ring in their fries.
I just found a fry in the sauce with my wings.
Beat THAT!
I just found a fry in the sauce with my wings.
Beat THAT!
Reposted by betty bah humbug
Ever have a song playing in the background of your mind but you can’t quite make it out so you turn it up and it’s just been Rod Stewart (Forever Young) the entire time? Brains are weird places.
December 19, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Ever have a song playing in the background of your mind but you can’t quite make it out so you turn it up and it’s just been Rod Stewart (Forever Young) the entire time? Brains are weird places.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
When you accidentally swallow the little circle of foil from the back of you pill packaging, you get superpowers for the day
December 18, 2025 at 5:14 PM
When you accidentally swallow the little circle of foil from the back of you pill packaging, you get superpowers for the day
No babe it’s only cute for you to say sexist shit if I KNOW you don’t mean it.
So go make your own dinner and do your own fucking dishes.
So go make your own dinner and do your own fucking dishes.
December 19, 2025 at 5:36 PM
No babe it’s only cute for you to say sexist shit if I KNOW you don’t mean it.
So go make your own dinner and do your own fucking dishes.
So go make your own dinner and do your own fucking dishes.
There are seriously incredibly fierce, smart, talented, beautiful women out there in the world. And every one of us has had our hearts broke by a dude built like this.
December 19, 2025 at 5:08 PM
There are seriously incredibly fierce, smart, talented, beautiful women out there in the world. And every one of us has had our hearts broke by a dude built like this.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
“Tell me you are not crying over a man whose ass looks like it belongs on a frog rn”
- me, as a therapist
- me, as a therapist
December 19, 2025 at 5:02 PM
“Tell me you are not crying over a man whose ass looks like it belongs on a frog rn”
- me, as a therapist
- me, as a therapist
Reposted by betty bah humbug
I'm going to start telling men to smile more
December 19, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I'm going to start telling men to smile more
Reposted by betty bah humbug
i love the smell of weed in the morning
December 19, 2025 at 5:05 PM
i love the smell of weed in the morning
Reposted by betty bah humbug
this fucking asshole can’t even destroy evidence in a timely fashion
December 19, 2025 at 4:59 PM
this fucking asshole can’t even destroy evidence in a timely fashion
Reposted by betty bah humbug
it would make me feel better if I had a pamphlet available on hand to give to people I am meeting for the first time that has a bullet point explanation of the strange behaviors they are about to witness
December 19, 2025 at 1:12 PM
it would make me feel better if I had a pamphlet available on hand to give to people I am meeting for the first time that has a bullet point explanation of the strange behaviors they are about to witness
Everyone knows what it means when a corrupt slumlord says something will be done in a couple weeks.
Breaking: The Trump administration announces that they will not be complying with today’s deadline to release the full Epstein Files.
They insist the files will be released in the next “couple weeks.”
They insist the files will be released in the next “couple weeks.”
December 19, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Everyone knows what it means when a corrupt slumlord says something will be done in a couple weeks.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
I'm fascist america you need a holster for your ranch dressing. you need so many holsters that your holsters have holsters
December 19, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I'm fascist america you need a holster for your ranch dressing. you need so many holsters that your holsters have holsters
Reposted by betty bah humbug
looking at old photos of myself and wondering why no one stepped in and told me what my goatee looked like... was i ever really loved by anyone
December 19, 2025 at 4:00 PM
looking at old photos of myself and wondering why no one stepped in and told me what my goatee looked like... was i ever really loved by anyone
Reposted by betty bah humbug
Labial Fold is a good band name
December 19, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Labial Fold is a good band name
Reposted by betty bah humbug
This did not age well. Of course 🙄😑
Happy file release day for those who celebrate
December 19, 2025 at 4:18 PM
This did not age well. Of course 🙄😑
Reposted by betty bah humbug
Girl, you are a force. I'd reap the whirlwind to see them walrus teeth.
December 19, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Girl, you are a force. I'd reap the whirlwind to see them walrus teeth.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
[watching a musical]
god, please don’t let it be another song…
god, please don’t let it be another song…
November 2, 2024 at 1:43 AM
[watching a musical]
god, please don’t let it be another song…
god, please don’t let it be another song…
Reposted by betty bah humbug
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
because her guy had a massive foot fetish.
She had so many children
because her guy had a massive foot fetish.
December 19, 2025 at 3:19 PM
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
because her guy had a massive foot fetish.
She had so many children
because her guy had a massive foot fetish.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
*cuts a hole in a box* There. Shopping for the missus is done.
December 19, 2025 at 2:53 AM
*cuts a hole in a box* There. Shopping for the missus is done.
Reposted by betty bah humbug
December 19, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Reposted by betty bah humbug
Admirable folks keep trying to help me learn from my mistakes and still I keep telling everyone to suck my dick
December 19, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Admirable folks keep trying to help me learn from my mistakes and still I keep telling everyone to suck my dick