acegradler.bsky.social
@acegradler.bsky.social
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Watch Out!
August 11, 2025 at 4:38 AM
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establish dominance by undoing your bra, slipping it off through your sleeve, and throwing it onto the conveyor belt at the grocery store
August 11, 2025 at 9:44 PM
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I think we should raise the age of consent to 63.
August 11, 2025 at 8:14 PM
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Hypothetically, how do you "unsummon" (for lack of a better word) a demon?
August 11, 2025 at 4:05 PM
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Being spontaneous is great, except for those times when you leave the house with that uncertain feeling that you may or may not have to poop in a little bit.
August 10, 2025 at 8:20 PM
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my dad doesn’t appreciate me calling his massage chair The Meat Tenderizer
August 10, 2025 at 10:39 PM
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sorry, i have plans*

*slow-blinking with my cat
August 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM
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you should eat healthier but also a salad costs $40 now
August 4, 2025 at 11:52 PM
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I’ve seen one of these birds grab a whole pizza out of someone’s hands at the crowded Granville Island dock & fly away with it. They are bold, determined & hella strong.
August 4, 2025 at 7:27 PM
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I take off my sports bra like everybody else, dislocating one shoulder at a time.
August 4, 2025 at 8:29 PM
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What if cows are actually trying to say "moon" but they can't make the "n" sound 🥺
August 3, 2025 at 4:50 PM
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Me: My mental health is important to me. Sleep is not optional.

Brain: Got it. Sleep is not an option.

Me: That’s not what I said!

Brain (marinating in Baja Blast): I can’t hear you over what a good job I’m doing!
August 3, 2025 at 2:25 AM
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“Fossil Fuel” is the name of my new catering service for nursing homes.
August 2, 2025 at 4:38 PM
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getting ready to PARTY (googling "when was mayonnaise invented")
July 31, 2025 at 11:03 PM
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“Snakes are more scared of you than you are of them”

OKAY BUT DID THEY TELL YOU THAT
July 31, 2025 at 8:22 PM
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sorry, but my erotic macaroni art is for serious collectors only
July 31, 2025 at 8:28 PM
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are you ready for what's next or not really
July 31, 2025 at 2:52 AM
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At a funeral saying deadass instead of amen
July 30, 2025 at 1:15 PM
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bsky is the place to go when you want to let people know you’re not right in the ol’ noodle
July 30, 2025 at 11:04 AM
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*crouching over a garden slug* your entire lifestyle disgusts me
July 26, 2025 at 2:18 PM
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selling my blood for mosquito bait,
6 bucks per Cool Whip tub
July 25, 2025 at 9:59 PM
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dreams are the original ai slop
July 25, 2025 at 10:26 PM
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It's not like overthinking ever improved a situation, but I'm determined to keep trying
July 25, 2025 at 3:59 PM