Pinned
Xalqee
@xalqee.bsky.social
· Jan 12
You know you’re an alcoholic if you can’t even say the word “ Sober” without making air quotes.
In the 80’s you shampooed with Agree or “ gee you hair smells terrific “ or you weren’t getting laid
January 21, 2026 at 6:12 AM
In the 80’s you shampooed with Agree or “ gee you hair smells terrific “ or you weren’t getting laid
I just want to be that old guy that says “ he just rubs me the wrong way” and everyone agrees with me
January 21, 2026 at 6:09 AM
I just want to be that old guy that says “ he just rubs me the wrong way” and everyone agrees with me
S. Carolina, I’m in you!
Already had some S. Carolina bbq and it was …magical👍
Already had some S. Carolina bbq and it was …magical👍
January 21, 2026 at 4:58 AM
S. Carolina, I’m in you!
Already had some S. Carolina bbq and it was …magical👍
Already had some S. Carolina bbq and it was …magical👍
I don’t have all the answers, I’m just a dude, buuut…this ain’t it
January 21, 2026 at 3:53 AM
I don’t have all the answers, I’m just a dude, buuut…this ain’t it
Reposted by Xalqee
*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
January 5, 2025 at 10:19 AM
*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.
….buts it’s kinda important right now, this is our chance, please vote.
This is it
This is it
January 20, 2026 at 2:04 AM
….buts it’s kinda important right now, this is our chance, please vote.
This is it
This is it
Look, I’m not a political guy and I don’t want to “ merge “ into one…buuut we are in a sitch and it’s kinda important, please vote muthafuckas, I know it’s a pain in the ass, and the Repubs are gonna make it harder…
January 20, 2026 at 2:01 AM
Look, I’m not a political guy and I don’t want to “ merge “ into one…buuut we are in a sitch and it’s kinda important, please vote muthafuckas, I know it’s a pain in the ass, and the Repubs are gonna make it harder…
Minnesota! I feel you! I support you! I am you!
I will vote!!!!!
I will vote!!!!!
January 20, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Minnesota! I feel you! I support you! I am you!
I will vote!!!!!
I will vote!!!!!
Hey I’m nobody, but @donlemonofficial.bsky.social , that doesn’t help
January 20, 2026 at 1:48 AM
Hey I’m nobody, but @donlemonofficial.bsky.social , that doesn’t help
Me? Oh I’m fine, Just living in US with the most corrupt, white collar bitch , penny anti, weak bitch ass, pedo pissant punk as the president of my country.
And yes I’m gonna vote again, please get off your ass and join me?
And yes I’m gonna vote again, please get off your ass and join me?
January 19, 2026 at 10:09 PM
Me? Oh I’m fine, Just living in US with the most corrupt, white collar bitch , penny anti, weak bitch ass, pedo pissant punk as the president of my country.
And yes I’m gonna vote again, please get off your ass and join me?
And yes I’m gonna vote again, please get off your ass and join me?
Growing up in LA, I can attest that when someone asks “ Where you’re from?” The correct answer is “ Nowhere” , cause of gangs
.. ( Ice problems)
.. ( Ice problems)
January 19, 2026 at 1:04 PM
Growing up in LA, I can attest that when someone asks “ Where you’re from?” The correct answer is “ Nowhere” , cause of gangs
.. ( Ice problems)
.. ( Ice problems)
Reposted by Xalqee
Happy New Year if you're in to that sort of thing
January 1, 2026 at 1:39 PM
Happy New Year if you're in to that sort of thing
Reposted by Xalqee
I’m at the “hold my moobs when I go down the stairs” level now. Get at me
December 21, 2025 at 4:56 AM
I’m at the “hold my moobs when I go down the stairs” level now. Get at me
Reposted by Xalqee
i always have the last laugh. not bc im evil or anything. just kinda dumb so sometimes it takes me a minute
December 14, 2025 at 4:22 AM
i always have the last laugh. not bc im evil or anything. just kinda dumb so sometimes it takes me a minute
Reposted by Xalqee
[first day as a firefighter]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
June 4, 2024 at 8:26 PM
[first day as a firefighter]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
Reposted by Xalqee
Bro, do you even lift, laugh and love?
December 8, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Bro, do you even lift, laugh and love?
Reposted by Xalqee
It’s Monday, or as I like to call it, motherfucker.
December 8, 2025 at 10:29 AM
It’s Monday, or as I like to call it, motherfucker.
Reposted by Xalqee
a button that immediately drafts a restraining order when you reply to my posts
December 6, 2025 at 2:30 AM
a button that immediately drafts a restraining order when you reply to my posts
Reposted by Xalqee
geez, Millie Bobby Brown, save some names for the rest of us
December 1, 2025 at 10:17 PM
geez, Millie Bobby Brown, save some names for the rest of us
Reposted by Xalqee
I just want enough money to figure out which of my problems can’t be solved by money
August 10, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I just want enough money to figure out which of my problems can’t be solved by money
Reposted by Xalqee
The sheep, out of hatred for the rabbits, voted for the wolf to preside over the farm. They all died. Even the chickens, who didn't vote.
June 24, 2025 at 5:47 PM
The sheep, out of hatred for the rabbits, voted for the wolf to preside over the farm. They all died. Even the chickens, who didn't vote.
Reposted by Xalqee
I just watched Karate Kid 6 so I’m technically part of the problem.
November 22, 2025 at 2:02 PM
I just watched Karate Kid 6 so I’m technically part of the problem.
Reposted by Xalqee
like snow on a palm tree, beautiful, but somehow just not right
November 21, 2025 at 1:03 PM
like snow on a palm tree, beautiful, but somehow just not right
Reposted by Xalqee
I like to pretend I'm being shunned instead of acknowledging the fact that my skeets suck
November 13, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I like to pretend I'm being shunned instead of acknowledging the fact that my skeets suck
Reposted by Xalqee
I never know how long to rest in between workouts…
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
November 21, 2025 at 12:22 PM
I never know how long to rest in between workouts…
It’s about six months, isn’t it?
It’s about six months, isn’t it?