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xanderglasgow.bsky.social
Glasgow Kiss
@xanderglasgow.bsky.social
I never saved anything for the swim back. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Pinned
Whenever I see a picture of this outfit, I always think to myself, “that must’ve cost him an arm and a leg”.
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Is that an idiom in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
November 12, 2025 at 6:59 AM
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*takes long drag off cigarette, flicks it away*
listen kid, when i was your age we didn't have mobile phones, we sat around trimming our split ends and getting tan tattoos with paper stencils, we thought we had all the time uhh, i forgot where i was heading with this but- hey! where are you going?
November 12, 2025 at 7:06 AM
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If you put a mall directory in a high traffic crossroads of your home people will stop and stare at it long enough for you to find out what they came there for, usually just to murmur and echo so be cavernous
November 12, 2025 at 5:41 AM
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1. Ishtar
2. Sharknado
3. Spice World: The Movie
4. Police Academy: Mission to Moscow
Pope Leo has shared his four favorite movies of all time, as the Vatican prepares to host dozens of actors and directors in a “World of Cinema” gathering on Saturday at his official residence. See which films made the pope's list. nyti.ms/4p3exK9
Pope Leo Shares His Favorite Movies Ahead of Vatican Event
The list leans heavily on uplifting classics.
nyti.ms
November 12, 2025 at 1:21 AM
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Me: Coffee time!

Also me: I'll just finish this bit of work off first...

Me again: *brain shuts down*

Smarter me: *starts making coffee*
November 11, 2025 at 11:11 PM
November 11, 2025 at 11:21 PM
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"One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others." Archibald Rutledge. "The only thing we can never get enough of is love. And the only thing we can never give enough of is love." Henry Miller.
November 10, 2025 at 10:21 AM
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My degree was in English lit but I went to medical school later after this one time at a party and great quotes just pouring out of me I could not say "coagulate yourself bitch" without sounding pompous ass
November 11, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Must be lack toes intolerant.
November 11, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Dotting the T’s and crossing the eyes.
November 11, 2025 at 1:49 PM
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Heard someone say cutting cakes in triangles makes them spoil. As if there were actual people who don’t just eat the whole cake in one go.
November 11, 2025 at 1:19 PM
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All the fleeting ghosts from the corners of your eyes are more apart than anything in front of you so please, keep them in mind sideways for the panoramic pick up lines, condemned tire swing matchmakings just laying around and around in your yard
November 11, 2025 at 5:41 AM
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🎶 she looks like the real thing, she tastes like the real thing 🎶
Plastic trees have been extinct for over 100 years. YOU’RE ALL BUYING FAKE PLASTIC!
November 10, 2025 at 10:56 PM
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Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
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We used to have an Eastern European cleaner, took her ages to hoover the house.

Turns out she was a Slovak 👍🏼👍🏼
November 10, 2025 at 12:12 PM
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New research confirms that overexposure to political skeets gives you the heebie-jeebies.
The antidote is shitposting.
November 10, 2025 at 3:44 PM
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If you’re seeing this post, it’s a sign from the Universe to do that thing you’ve been avoiding: Seeing this post.
November 10, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Optimus, you ain’t in your prime anymore, let it go.
November 10, 2025 at 12:07 PM
I’m paying an extortionate amount of protection money to coffee today, just to stop Monday from hurting me.
November 10, 2025 at 9:26 AM
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You know how when you uncover enough universal truths you reach a free personal one, I just got a realizations on off switch
November 10, 2025 at 5:40 AM
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Someone in the building next door has locked himself out on his balcony (no idea how) and one of his neighbours threw up some sort of thin rope, he caught it and let it unravel, she tied a grocery bag with food/drink to the rope and he pulled it up and it was the sweetest thing I've seen in ages 🥺🥰
November 10, 2025 at 5:39 AM
I suppose falling into a really deep sleep, 7 minutes before I need to wake up, could be considered a super power.

A super shit power.

Enlightenment through insomnia. 💙
November 10, 2025 at 5:01 AM
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Do I need a puffy vest? I feel like I need a puffy vest.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
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When someone has a little too much enthusiasm on a Monday morning
November 9, 2025 at 8:33 PM
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Funny how guys seem to always say..

Him: “Beautiful and KNOWS sports”

like do you men hear yourselves

As if only men can appreciate sports

And they think their condescending words make us all giddy

M: “Wow idiot and misogynistic”
November 9, 2025 at 5:06 AM