haha what, you think I put Ozempic in the christmas tree water? that's crazy
December 22, 2025 at 4:58 PM
haha what, you think I put Ozempic in the christmas tree water? that's crazy
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.
December 11, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.
December 10, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
December 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
Co-pilot: that was our third pass. When are you going to land?
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
December 6, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Co-pilot: that was our third pass. When are you going to land?
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
The only thing that can stop a bad ai with a gun is a good ai with a gun
December 3, 2025 at 10:39 PM
The only thing that can stop a bad ai with a gun is a good ai with a gun
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Can’t believe I got ripped off on NefariousBroWeb & my Greedcoin is now worthless
December 2, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Can’t believe I got ripped off on NefariousBroWeb & my Greedcoin is now worthless
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Have to go back to eating smaller birds tomorrow. Ugh.
November 30, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Have to go back to eating smaller birds tomorrow. Ugh.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
November 30, 2025 at 12:36 AM
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
Arriving at my funeral, you are woefully unprepared for the sight of my embalmed corpse doing full Van Damme splits between two coffins.
November 28, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Arriving at my funeral, you are woefully unprepared for the sight of my embalmed corpse doing full Van Damme splits between two coffins.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Police say he then turned the epic vulgar roast on himself
November 26, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Police say he then turned the epic vulgar roast on himself
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
YEAH I want to use Sticky Keys! Thanks for popping up to ask me about this thing which I both obviously know about and want to always be turning on! (smiling slightly) Uhhhhh. That is, ... *NOT*
November 26, 2025 at 8:14 PM
YEAH I want to use Sticky Keys! Thanks for popping up to ask me about this thing which I both obviously know about and want to always be turning on! (smiling slightly) Uhhhhh. That is, ... *NOT*
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Imagine paying $44,000,000,000 to be the guy in the carnival dunk tank
December 28, 2024 at 6:52 PM
Imagine paying $44,000,000,000 to be the guy in the carnival dunk tank
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.
November 25, 2024 at 1:03 PM
Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
July 4, 2024 at 11:04 PM
Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Opinion | I believed Hillary Clinton was a sex trafficker because one of her donors owned a pizza restaurant and "cheese pizza" has the same initials as "child pornography." Here's why I don't think Donald Trump's multi-decade best friendship with a sex trafficker connects him to sex trafficking.
November 20, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Opinion | I believed Hillary Clinton was a sex trafficker because one of her donors owned a pizza restaurant and "cheese pizza" has the same initials as "child pornography." Here's why I don't think Donald Trump's multi-decade best friendship with a sex trafficker connects him to sex trafficking.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
“quiet, piggy” would make a lovely epitaph
November 19, 2025 at 9:57 PM
“quiet, piggy” would make a lovely epitaph
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
PERSON GASPING FOR AIR: *pushes epi pen into my hand*
ME: I said no autographs
ME: I said no autographs
November 19, 2025 at 5:12 PM
PERSON GASPING FOR AIR: *pushes epi pen into my hand*
ME: I said no autographs
ME: I said no autographs
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
When I arrive at the party
November 19, 2025 at 5:53 AM
When I arrive at the party
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
You can be a pitcher and a belly itcher at the same time. Don't let the jeering crowd limit your potential.
November 19, 2025 at 1:29 PM
You can be a pitcher and a belly itcher at the same time. Don't let the jeering crowd limit your potential.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
If I had a Death Becomes Her hole in my stomach I would hang a little bell in there, or maybe even a small gong.
November 19, 2025 at 12:38 PM
If I had a Death Becomes Her hole in my stomach I would hang a little bell in there, or maybe even a small gong.
I locked my account with that new boob recognition software but somebody stole my identittty
November 19, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I locked my account with that new boob recognition software but somebody stole my identittty
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
We want to speak directly to members of the Military and the Intelligence Community.
The American people need you to stand up for our laws and our Constitution.
Don’t give up the ship.
The American people need you to stand up for our laws and our Constitution.
Don’t give up the ship.
November 18, 2025 at 1:31 PM
We want to speak directly to members of the Military and the Intelligence Community.
The American people need you to stand up for our laws and our Constitution.
Don’t give up the ship.
The American people need you to stand up for our laws and our Constitution.
Don’t give up the ship.