my dog, struggling to open her medicine, looks to me for help
me: hey hey whoa read the label pal
me: hey hey whoa read the label pal
February 13, 2026 at 10:34 PM
my dog, struggling to open her medicine, looks to me for help
me: hey hey whoa read the label pal
me: hey hey whoa read the label pal
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
THIS IS A WHOLE SOUTH PARK EPISODE WHERE RANDY TURNS TO CHATGPT TO RUN HIS CANNABIS FARM AND LOSES EVERYTHING
Sorry for yelling, I just cannot believe this is reality.
Sorry for yelling, I just cannot believe this is reality.
There's a ChatGPT ad about a family farm where the owner says her family has been doing this for a hundred years and she doesn't want to be the one to screw it up and that's why she's getting advice from ChatGPT and, my God, can you people hear yourselves?
February 8, 2026 at 11:22 PM
THIS IS A WHOLE SOUTH PARK EPISODE WHERE RANDY TURNS TO CHATGPT TO RUN HIS CANNABIS FARM AND LOSES EVERYTHING
Sorry for yelling, I just cannot believe this is reality.
Sorry for yelling, I just cannot believe this is reality.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Good morning. The President of the United States was in the middle of the most serious child sex trafficking ring of the last quarter century.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
February 8, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Good morning. The President of the United States was in the middle of the most serious child sex trafficking ring of the last quarter century.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
Wait, you're telling me that the largest organ of my body, my skin, cannot function unless I rub it every day with a man-made protective lotion? How could evolution allow this to happen? I'm going to need to speak to your manager.
February 2, 2026 at 8:55 PM
Wait, you're telling me that the largest organ of my body, my skin, cannot function unless I rub it every day with a man-made protective lotion? How could evolution allow this to happen? I'm going to need to speak to your manager.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Wait. So, if you’re a parent…your kids are around ALL the time? That can’t be right. Feels excessive.
May 19, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Wait. So, if you’re a parent…your kids are around ALL the time? That can’t be right. Feels excessive.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
You: [checks driveway]
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
February 1, 2026 at 2:02 AM
You: [checks driveway]
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale
Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus
Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus
May 16, 2023 at 10:51 PM
Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale
Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus
Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
In college I’d get rides back home from a friend’s cousin who spit chew into an open styrofoam cup in the flimsy fold-out holder on the dash of his honda accord. I’d just stare at the spit rocking dangerously back and forth as we raced through the mississippi valley. feels like that all the time now
February 19, 2025 at 11:44 PM
In college I’d get rides back home from a friend’s cousin who spit chew into an open styrofoam cup in the flimsy fold-out holder on the dash of his honda accord. I’d just stare at the spit rocking dangerously back and forth as we raced through the mississippi valley. feels like that all the time now
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Not shaved, not natural, but a secret third thing (crop circles)
January 28, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Not shaved, not natural, but a secret third thing (crop circles)
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Me: *chopping onions*
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
January 18, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Me: *chopping onions*
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
President Trump has an opportunity to do the most popular thing he's ever done
January 21, 2026 at 5:20 AM
President Trump has an opportunity to do the most popular thing he's ever done
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
With arms like bookends you can check out a whole shelf from the library in one shot but what the hell do I know, only all of the shit in 613.713 weight training and strength development
January 16, 2026 at 5:08 PM
With arms like bookends you can check out a whole shelf from the library in one shot but what the hell do I know, only all of the shit in 613.713 weight training and strength development
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I hate it when I uncover an ancient artifact that grants me extraordinary powers only to discover that I am now a pawn in an eternal cosmic battle between the forces of light and darkness
August 2, 2024 at 1:20 PM
I hate it when I uncover an ancient artifact that grants me extraordinary powers only to discover that I am now a pawn in an eternal cosmic battle between the forces of light and darkness
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
we interrupt the government coverup of the nation’s largest child sex trafficking scandal to bring you the government coverup of state sponsored murder.
January 7, 2026 at 9:14 PM
we interrupt the government coverup of the nation’s largest child sex trafficking scandal to bring you the government coverup of state sponsored murder.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
my nephew drew me this. you think it’s cute well it’s not he’s 23 and recently pardoned for taking a shit inside the Capitol on January 6th
January 6, 2026 at 6:03 PM
my nephew drew me this. you think it’s cute well it’s not he’s 23 and recently pardoned for taking a shit inside the Capitol on January 6th
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January
January 4, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
January 3, 2026 at 10:52 AM
Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Out enjoying the last beautiful moon of 2025 before it is dynamited into rubble and used to build a giant Trump head.
January 1, 2026 at 2:01 AM
Out enjoying the last beautiful moon of 2025 before it is dynamited into rubble and used to build a giant Trump head.
haha what, you think I put Ozempic in the christmas tree water? that's crazy
December 22, 2025 at 4:58 PM
haha what, you think I put Ozempic in the christmas tree water? that's crazy
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.
December 11, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.
December 10, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
December 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out