Brynnester
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brynnester.bsky.social
Brynnester
@brynnester.bsky.social
Yorkshire’s finest. Contributor to @sorrowscopes.bsky.social

Just me: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fk3rbuqc2f2yzauj6dw2ft23/feed/aaamxdreuohh4
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As I get older and I remember all of the people I lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me
Me, British Dad: In America tomato sauce is ketchup, aubergine is an egg plant and Rocket is Arugula

5yo: I wanna go to space in an Arugula

Me: *rubs temples*
November 11, 2025 at 7:52 AM
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[movie studio]

ME: BUT HOW DOES THE INVISIBLE MAN KNOW WHEN TO STOP WIPING?

TOUR GUIDE: *into walkie talkie* code orange, he’s back.
November 10, 2025 at 6:57 PM
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“I’ll just slip into something more comfortable,” I say, walking into the ocean.
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 AM
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Huey Lewis: *falls and breaks pelvis*

The News: Hip to repair
October 18, 2023 at 3:03 PM
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stick a fork in me, im a toaster
October 24, 2025 at 3:58 PM
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[on the set of "Alien Zoo Lab"]

"My god," the lead character gasps. "It's like we're in some kind of…alien…lab…zoo."

The director flings the clapperboard. "CUT! For fuck's sake, Jerry. It's an alien zoo lab. ALIEN! ZOO! LAB!"
November 9, 2025 at 9:08 PM
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Courtney Love never played with her idols, Ann & Nancy Wilson. now there’s a Hole where her Heart used to be . folks,,
November 9, 2025 at 8:12 PM
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People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
November 9, 2025 at 5:44 AM
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Yes, yes, but how does that relate to the one thing I'm obsessed with
November 1, 2025 at 8:44 PM
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Me: *takes one step outside*

Mosquitoes: *start tying on bibs and opening up tiny bottles of barbecue sauce*
September 15, 2025 at 3:17 PM
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Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
October 28, 2025 at 3:21 AM
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My therapist says it’s okay to cry in public as long as I wear clothes
September 2, 2024 at 8:38 PM
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a morning after pill, but for that really stupid thing you said yesterday in front of everyone
May 29, 2025 at 9:04 PM
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The other necromancers are roasting me because I summoned the wrong demon
October 23, 2025 at 2:25 AM
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The most Halloween of popular ballad singers is Michael BOO-ble.
October 21, 2025 at 1:42 PM
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I look to impress dates by quoting classic lines from literature to them but it turns out that calling her the “green-eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on” is not the turn-on I thought it would be.
October 22, 2025 at 1:20 PM
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a porn flick called “The Czech’s in the Male” somebody write that down
October 22, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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Just found two pairs of my fave panties in a clean fitted sheet while changing the bedclothes. It's going to be a good day
October 22, 2025 at 1:46 PM