Sardonic Tart
@sardonictart.bsky.social
Former lifelong Buffalonian living in North Carolina. Don't bother me. Go Bills❤️💙
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rzgxnxi42gyskrxw247ofmee/feed/aaackkaxo7pmk
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rzgxnxi42gyskrxw247ofmee/feed/aaackkaxo7pmk
Pinned
Sardonic Tart
@sardonictart.bsky.social
· Nov 12
I don't remember what I wanted to be when I grew up but I'm pretty sure it wasn't this.
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
[the inventor of golf] How can we monetize getting angry in a field?
March 15, 2025 at 8:18 AM
[the inventor of golf] How can we monetize getting angry in a field?
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
got fired from the casket-making factory. boss said i talked too much. that was the nail in my coffin. i just couldn’t put a lid on it. i made grave mistakes. ì
July 10, 2025 at 2:14 PM
got fired from the casket-making factory. boss said i talked too much. that was the nail in my coffin. i just couldn’t put a lid on it. i made grave mistakes. ì
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
Chris Martin’s conscious uncoupling powers are growing. Stay vigilant
July 17, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Chris Martin’s conscious uncoupling powers are growing. Stay vigilant
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*quietly beatboxing as the cop reads me my rights
July 18, 2025 at 6:15 PM
*quietly beatboxing as the cop reads me my rights
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you: *saying words*
me: this is a lot
me: this is a lot
July 18, 2025 at 11:45 AM
you: *saying words*
me: this is a lot
me: this is a lot
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Be the reason he enters the witness protection program.
February 15, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Be the reason he enters the witness protection program.
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me: if you put the word "casual" in front of friday, you're leaving room for broad interpretation.
h.r.: you were wearing a wrestling singlet
h.r.: you were wearing a wrestling singlet
July 16, 2025 at 1:27 AM
me: if you put the word "casual" in front of friday, you're leaving room for broad interpretation.
h.r.: you were wearing a wrestling singlet
h.r.: you were wearing a wrestling singlet
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
Welcome to hell. Please take a leaf blower
November 22, 2024 at 2:19 PM
Welcome to hell. Please take a leaf blower
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
My day has been so dreary and boring that Chris Martin wants to sing it.
July 18, 2025 at 2:46 AM
My day has been so dreary and boring that Chris Martin wants to sing it.
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This would never have happened at a Nickelback concert
July 17, 2025 at 6:57 PM
This would never have happened at a Nickelback concert
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i’m not seeing here in the constitution where it says every single day must be insane
July 18, 2025 at 7:06 PM
i’m not seeing here in the constitution where it says every single day must be insane
[Looking at old photos]
I remember when that top used to fit me
I remember when that top used to fit me
July 18, 2025 at 8:31 PM
[Looking at old photos]
I remember when that top used to fit me
I remember when that top used to fit me
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
If it weren't for spite, I'm not sure I'd do anything.
July 12, 2025 at 1:58 PM
If it weren't for spite, I'm not sure I'd do anything.
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
cops, do not read
to everyone else: i love crimes
to everyone else: i love crimes
July 9, 2025 at 8:48 PM
cops, do not read
to everyone else: i love crimes
to everyone else: i love crimes
I haven't been on here for a couple months and now I can't remember any of the material I thought of but I can tell you it was gold
July 12, 2025 at 1:15 PM
I haven't been on here for a couple months and now I can't remember any of the material I thought of but I can tell you it was gold
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
Me: I don’t feel well.
Doctor: That’s because you’re alive.
Doctor: That’s because you’re alive.
July 11, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Me: I don’t feel well.
Doctor: That’s because you’re alive.
Doctor: That’s because you’re alive.
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It costs nothing to be kind. But then again, it costs nothing to be a sociopath. So you see my dilemma
April 14, 2025 at 4:23 PM
It costs nothing to be kind. But then again, it costs nothing to be a sociopath. So you see my dilemma
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
[batman looking at bat signal]
I keep telling this guy to just text me
I keep telling this guy to just text me
July 10, 2025 at 2:38 AM
[batman looking at bat signal]
I keep telling this guy to just text me
I keep telling this guy to just text me
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
me: why don’t I have any matching socks?
wife: the washing machine keeps eating them
me: you must be using the vicious cycle
wife: I despise you
wife: the washing machine keeps eating them
me: you must be using the vicious cycle
wife: I despise you
July 11, 2025 at 11:53 AM
me: why don’t I have any matching socks?
wife: the washing machine keeps eating them
me: you must be using the vicious cycle
wife: I despise you
wife: the washing machine keeps eating them
me: you must be using the vicious cycle
wife: I despise you
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
I would start a cult if it weren't for the paperwork.
July 6, 2025 at 12:14 PM
I would start a cult if it weren't for the paperwork.
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I keep a log of all the trees I cut down.
April 4, 2025 at 3:00 PM
I keep a log of all the trees I cut down.
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Your secrets are safe with me because I really, really don’t care.
April 3, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Your secrets are safe with me because I really, really don’t care.
I wish my dog could articulate to me the joy he derives from me throwing a ball and him fetching it two hundred times in a row
April 4, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I wish my dog could articulate to me the joy he derives from me throwing a ball and him fetching it two hundred times in a row
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
Sure, make fun of my cargo pants but sooner or later you're going to need a cocktail shaker or a map of 11th century France.
March 9, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Sure, make fun of my cargo pants but sooner or later you're going to need a cocktail shaker or a map of 11th century France.
Reposted by Sardonic Tart
I'm just one decent laminator away from owning a very convincing licence to kill.
March 8, 2025 at 2:28 AM
I'm just one decent laminator away from owning a very convincing licence to kill.