Salsabeard
@salsabeard.bsky.social
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I can do hard things. I think.
November 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I can do hard things. I think.
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im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
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this jacket isn’t very straight at all
November 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
this jacket isn’t very straight at all
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This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
November 8, 2025 at 1:10 PM
This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
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If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
November 9, 2025 at 2:32 PM
If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
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Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery.
November 9, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery.
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In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
November 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
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GOP wants “Newsies” again.
November 9, 2025 at 10:46 PM
GOP wants “Newsies” again.
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*brings ibuprofen to a knife fight*
November 8, 2025 at 3:43 PM
*brings ibuprofen to a knife fight*
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Find someone who will share their muscle relaxants with you.
November 7, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Find someone who will share their muscle relaxants with you.
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Welcome to your 40s.
You now pull a muscle when you stretch.
You now pull a muscle when you stretch.
November 6, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Welcome to your 40s.
You now pull a muscle when you stretch.
You now pull a muscle when you stretch.
Reposted by Salsabeard
*crosses over 3 lanes on a highway just to tell you to stay in your lane
November 8, 2025 at 12:46 PM
*crosses over 3 lanes on a highway just to tell you to stay in your lane
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I only repost assholes like me.
November 4, 2025 at 4:52 AM
I only repost assholes like me.
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Can't. Spending the day at my parents changing all their analog clocks.
March 9, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Can't. Spending the day at my parents changing all their analog clocks.
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Feed me cereal and tell me I’m pretty
November 4, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Feed me cereal and tell me I’m pretty
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My favourite thing about the time change is that I get an extra hour to be an asshole.
November 3, 2025 at 6:17 PM
My favourite thing about the time change is that I get an extra hour to be an asshole.
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Why’s it called a Mimosa and not an Orange Slutty?
November 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Why’s it called a Mimosa and not an Orange Slutty?
Me when I send a “🤣” emoji
November 3, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Me when I send a “🤣” emoji
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I don’t bottle up my feelings, the pharmacist does.
November 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I don’t bottle up my feelings, the pharmacist does.
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If my superpower was teleportation I would tell people it’s hard to control and just pop right out of any conversation I don’t like.
October 29, 2025 at 11:38 AM
If my superpower was teleportation I would tell people it’s hard to control and just pop right out of any conversation I don’t like.
Reposted by Salsabeard
Spring forward, Fall back into seasonal depression.
November 1, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Spring forward, Fall back into seasonal depression.
Polenta is just corn gravy.
November 3, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Polenta is just corn gravy.
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It’s a blessing and a curse but I hate how easily I can be distracted.
November 3, 2025 at 12:58 AM
It’s a blessing and a curse but I hate how easily I can be distracted.
Reposted by Salsabeard
I live in mortal fear of mispronouncing pecan in public.
November 3, 2025 at 12:19 AM
I live in mortal fear of mispronouncing pecan in public.
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Sometimes a girl just needs some fried potatoes
November 2, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Sometimes a girl just needs some fried potatoes