Native Minnow
@nativeminnow.bsky.social
A doctor, but not the important kind. Bill Clinton lookalike, but not the important kind.
Reposted by Native Minnow
Can't.
Busy filling the drafts folder with gnomic phrases that'll make no sense in the morning.
Busy filling the drafts folder with gnomic phrases that'll make no sense in the morning.
February 10, 2026 at 12:36 AM
Can't.
Busy filling the drafts folder with gnomic phrases that'll make no sense in the morning.
Busy filling the drafts folder with gnomic phrases that'll make no sense in the morning.
ONE TIME I have too much to drink and the bartender pierces my ear with a thumbtack and you won’t let me live it down
Bf travels for work all the time and I just go on as normal. I travel one time and before 24 hours are up he's pierced his ears, sent me pictures of a sad-looking dog who needs a home, and the aquatic entomologist is having a hangover on our couch 😂
February 10, 2026 at 4:05 AM
ONE TIME I have too much to drink and the bartender pierces my ear with a thumbtack and you won’t let me live it down
Reposted by Native Minnow
conservative: i can’t understand a single word in this halftime show, what else is on
🎵bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy🎵
conservative: amen patriot
🎵bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy🎵
conservative: amen patriot
February 10, 2026 at 3:37 AM
conservative: i can’t understand a single word in this halftime show, what else is on
🎵bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy🎵
conservative: amen patriot
🎵bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy🎵
conservative: amen patriot
“Mom. Dad. I got the part!”
The part:
The part:
February 9, 2026 at 3:21 PM
“Mom. Dad. I got the part!”
The part:
The part:
Imagine telling your folks you got the part in the halftime show only to end up being one of the bunches of grass that didn’t even move
February 9, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Imagine telling your folks you got the part in the halftime show only to end up being one of the bunches of grass that didn’t even move
Reposted by Native Minnow
Thanks for the follow, good luck finding anything worth sharing.
February 7, 2026 at 12:47 PM
Thanks for the follow, good luck finding anything worth sharing.
I live in a town so small none of the services advertised during the Super Bowl even exist here
February 9, 2026 at 4:32 AM
I live in a town so small none of the services advertised during the Super Bowl even exist here
Reposted by Native Minnow
If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
February 8, 2026 at 2:54 AM
If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
Reposted by Native Minnow
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
Lose weight with this simple diet trick I call not having any extra money ever
February 6, 2026 at 11:40 PM
Lose weight with this simple diet trick I call not having any extra money ever
Reposted by Native Minnow
In the not-too-distant future, RiffTrax is making four new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000! Support us on Kickstarter: rifftraxmakesmst3k.com #RiffTraxMakesMST3K @mst3kofficial.bsky.social
February 2, 2026 at 6:20 PM
In the not-too-distant future, RiffTrax is making four new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000! Support us on Kickstarter: rifftraxmakesmst3k.com #RiffTraxMakesMST3K @mst3kofficial.bsky.social
Reposted by Native Minnow
love when there’s a newspaper profile of some psychopath that points out they allow themselves “a lone vice, like a single cup of black coffee in the morning.” personally I am a bundle of trash glued together by vices. they’re all load-bearing
January 29, 2026 at 6:39 PM
love when there’s a newspaper profile of some psychopath that points out they allow themselves “a lone vice, like a single cup of black coffee in the morning.” personally I am a bundle of trash glued together by vices. they’re all load-bearing
Reposted by Native Minnow
FRIEND: don’t even think about bringing your bullshit
ME: *already been broughten my bullshit*
ME: *already been broughten my bullshit*
January 31, 2026 at 7:17 PM
FRIEND: don’t even think about bringing your bullshit
ME: *already been broughten my bullshit*
ME: *already been broughten my bullshit*
Reposted by Native Minnow
given that all these people have had, you know, at LEAST seven years to prepare a vigorous and well-argued defense for appearing in the epstein files, it’s remarkable how much flailing is happening in public
February 1, 2026 at 2:12 AM
given that all these people have had, you know, at LEAST seven years to prepare a vigorous and well-argued defense for appearing in the epstein files, it’s remarkable how much flailing is happening in public
Reposted by Native Minnow
sad to hear that Woody Allen was cheating on his daughter on Epstein island
January 31, 2026 at 12:00 PM
sad to hear that Woody Allen was cheating on his daughter on Epstein island
Reposted by Native Minnow
A year ago: We need TAXES on the WEALTHY
Now: We need a cleansing fire
Now: We need a cleansing fire
January 31, 2026 at 4:40 PM
A year ago: We need TAXES on the WEALTHY
Now: We need a cleansing fire
Now: We need a cleansing fire
One of my nieces got to dress up as an old lady for her 100th day of the school year. My sister said, “Let’s look online to see how to do the makeup for the wrinkles,” and my niece asked, “why don’t you just look in the mirror?”
Kids are savage.
Kids are savage.
January 30, 2026 at 6:38 PM
One of my nieces got to dress up as an old lady for her 100th day of the school year. My sister said, “Let’s look online to see how to do the makeup for the wrinkles,” and my niece asked, “why don’t you just look in the mirror?”
Kids are savage.
Kids are savage.
Reposted by Native Minnow
ICE is upset that ICE isn't welcome in restaurants after ICE ordered food at a restaurant, ate it, then arrested restaurant employees, and ICE believes this is someone else's fault, do I have that right?
January 29, 2026 at 4:45 PM
ICE is upset that ICE isn't welcome in restaurants after ICE ordered food at a restaurant, ate it, then arrested restaurant employees, and ICE believes this is someone else's fault, do I have that right?
Reposted by Native Minnow
Trump appears in the Epstein files more than he appears in Melania's movie.
January 29, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Trump appears in the Epstein files more than he appears in Melania's movie.
Reposted by Native Minnow
Apparently, "1939’s Germany" is not the correct answer when a job application asks where you see yourself in 5 years.
January 29, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Apparently, "1939’s Germany" is not the correct answer when a job application asks where you see yourself in 5 years.
Reposted by Native Minnow
one of the agents said “okay we know” when we were whistling so i leaned in and whistled louder and he threatened to pepper spray me. i then said “are you scared of a fucking whistle dawg” and he very meekly said “no i’m not scared of a whistle”
January 28, 2026 at 4:30 PM
one of the agents said “okay we know” when we were whistling so i leaned in and whistled louder and he threatened to pepper spray me. i then said “are you scared of a fucking whistle dawg” and he very meekly said “no i’m not scared of a whistle”
Reposted by Native Minnow
using federal resources to illegally seize the goods of another country and then diverting the proceeds to accounts only the president can control is the kind of thing the framers would’ve seen these men hanged for
January 29, 2026 at 12:47 AM
using federal resources to illegally seize the goods of another country and then diverting the proceeds to accounts only the president can control is the kind of thing the framers would’ve seen these men hanged for
Reposted by Native Minnow
JD Vance Places Candle Outside Hooters Where ICE Agents Were Heckled
January 27, 2026 at 5:30 PM
JD Vance Places Candle Outside Hooters Where ICE Agents Were Heckled
Reposted by Native Minnow
“Lots of people support ICE.”
January 27, 2026 at 12:04 PM
“Lots of people support ICE.”