functional moron
@fiveburger.bsky.social
timberwolvespilled
he/him
he/him
Pinned
the wolves are good
julius randle putting on a show for me :)
February 10, 2026 at 1:36 AM
julius randle putting on a show for me :)
it’s crazy that these guys are all just real human beings out there playing basketball
February 10, 2026 at 1:16 AM
it’s crazy that these guys are all just real human beings out there playing basketball
can’t believe the NAW welcome back highlight real didn’t include the play where he was smiling while stealing jamal murray’s soul
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 AM
can’t believe the NAW welcome back highlight real didn’t include the play where he was smiling while stealing jamal murray’s soul
anyone want me to tell NAW anything
February 10, 2026 at 1:07 AM
anyone want me to tell NAW anything
wearing my timberwolf socks to the game. hoping for some good energy
February 10, 2026 at 12:11 AM
wearing my timberwolf socks to the game. hoping for some good energy
remember when trump tried to ground a huge amount of the US commercial air fleet and everyone just ignored it because it would be bad for business
Trump, in the middle of his latest unhinged Truth Social screed, claims that if Canada makes a trade deal with China, "the first thing China will do is terminate ALL Ice Hockey being played in Canada, and permanently eliminate The Stanley Cup."
February 10, 2026 at 12:01 AM
remember when trump tried to ground a huge amount of the US commercial air fleet and everyone just ignored it because it would be bad for business
February 9, 2026 at 11:28 PM
put this together with that disgusting birthday card and, well, i think we are running out of unanswered questions
"Trump has repeatedly maintained that he had no knowledge of...sex crimes...But in July 2006, just as Jeffrey Epstein’s criminal case became public, Trump called then-Palm Beach police chief Michael Reiter to tell him that Epstein’s activities with teenaged girls were well known"
Breaking: Trump told Palm Beach police chief 'everyone' knew about Epstein and 'evil' Maxwell www.miamiherald.com/news/politic...
February 9, 2026 at 11:13 PM
put this together with that disgusting birthday card and, well, i think we are running out of unanswered questions
was getting close to drawing the notification icon on a piece of paper just so i could look over at it and get the dopamine hit
February 9, 2026 at 10:56 PM
was getting close to drawing the notification icon on a piece of paper just so i could look over at it and get the dopamine hit
tesla stock is basically the highest it’s ever been by the way, in case anyone thinks the economy is real
February 9, 2026 at 10:22 PM
tesla stock is basically the highest it’s ever been by the way, in case anyone thinks the economy is real
Reposted by functional moron
I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
February 9, 2026 at 2:11 AM
I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
i'm actually really worried for this phase of things. what do we do when they go places with less networks or where institutions are extremely supportive of ICE. idk i'm scared of what can happen here.
However my Internal ICE Sources say they’re having a field day outstate, picking up tons of people with zero local opposition. Nightmarish. I can’t believe I’m saying this but come back to Minneapolis where it’s a fair fight
February 9, 2026 at 9:52 PM
i'm actually really worried for this phase of things. what do we do when they go places with less networks or where institutions are extremely supportive of ICE. idk i'm scared of what can happen here.
i think one bad thing social media has done is condition us to read every possible post in the worst possible light for easy dunks. i certainly find myself falling for it but think it's helpful to at least try to recognize and avoid it by thinking "how would i interpret it if my friend posted this"
February 9, 2026 at 9:35 PM
i think one bad thing social media has done is condition us to read every possible post in the worst possible light for easy dunks. i certainly find myself falling for it but think it's helpful to at least try to recognize and avoid it by thinking "how would i interpret it if my friend posted this"
oh thank god
February 9, 2026 at 9:24 PM
oh thank god
man exactly how bad is this jobs report about to be?
February 9, 2026 at 9:09 PM
man exactly how bad is this jobs report about to be?
Reposted by functional moron
Remember Garfield Minus Garfield? I feel like this version of Christianity is Bible Minus Jesus
the first choice is literally what Jesus would teach, i feel like i'm losing my mind
February 9, 2026 at 7:21 PM
Remember Garfield Minus Garfield? I feel like this version of Christianity is Bible Minus Jesus
Reposted by functional moron
Caught up with Nickeil Alexander-Walker at shootaround today. He was reflective on his time in Minnesota.
“My son was born here. This is where I feel like the Nickeil Alexander-Walker we all see today was born as well.”
“My son was born here. This is where I feel like the Nickeil Alexander-Walker we all see today was born as well.”
February 9, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Caught up with Nickeil Alexander-Walker at shootaround today. He was reflective on his time in Minnesota.
“My son was born here. This is where I feel like the Nickeil Alexander-Walker we all see today was born as well.”
“My son was born here. This is where I feel like the Nickeil Alexander-Walker we all see today was born as well.”
i regret to inform you all that tonight is my third annual “splurge on really nice seats when the wolves play a middling eastern conference team” game. the previous two have resulted in losses to the hornets and wizards so just be ready for tonight.
February 9, 2026 at 6:15 PM
i regret to inform you all that tonight is my third annual “splurge on really nice seats when the wolves play a middling eastern conference team” game. the previous two have resulted in losses to the hornets and wizards so just be ready for tonight.
Reposted by functional moron
"The Bureau of Labor Statistics has reported that gambling was the second-highest service-sector industry for GDP growth between 2019 and 2024, behind only software publishing."
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Very annoyed at the people who decided to open the floodgates to online sports betting, it is absolutely a scourge. Great piece from Gabrielle Gurley on people spending hours a day on these predatory apps.
The Scourge of Online Sports Betting - The American Prospect
States and leagues must face up to the damage from app-based gambling for the next generation of bettors, most of them young men.
prospect.org
February 9, 2026 at 4:55 PM
"The Bureau of Labor Statistics has reported that gambling was the second-highest service-sector industry for GDP growth between 2019 and 2024, behind only software publishing."
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
i think our entire economy might be Dumb
"The Bureau of Labor Statistics has reported that gambling was the second-highest service-sector industry for GDP growth between 2019 and 2024, behind only software publishing."
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Very annoyed at the people who decided to open the floodgates to online sports betting, it is absolutely a scourge. Great piece from Gabrielle Gurley on people spending hours a day on these predatory apps.
February 9, 2026 at 5:07 PM
i think our entire economy might be Dumb
imo the worst part of weed culture is the people who will try to convince you that driving high is okay for whatever reason. shoot those people into the sun.
February 9, 2026 at 5:01 PM
imo the worst part of weed culture is the people who will try to convince you that driving high is okay for whatever reason. shoot those people into the sun.
Reposted by functional moron
This technology already exists and is widely used. It doesn't involve 'government surveillance' and would not allow ICE or any other government agency to stop individual cars.
Just say you think thousands of kids dying every year is worth it so you can speed!
www.autoweek.com/news/a615322...
Just say you think thousands of kids dying every year is worth it so you can speed!
www.autoweek.com/news/a615322...
Speed Limiters Now Mandatory in All New EU Cars
Intelligent Speed Assist (ISA) isn't an ironclad speeding prevention system, but could be just annoying enough to spark a backlash.
www.autoweek.com
February 9, 2026 at 4:16 PM
This technology already exists and is widely used. It doesn't involve 'government surveillance' and would not allow ICE or any other government agency to stop individual cars.
Just say you think thousands of kids dying every year is worth it so you can speed!
www.autoweek.com/news/a615322...
Just say you think thousands of kids dying every year is worth it so you can speed!
www.autoweek.com/news/a615322...
i try to keep up with the research on my vices so i know my risk levels and i'm not here to say smoking weed is "good" for you (there are higher risks of lung infection, etc.) but i think something that might surprise people is how little evidence there is that it increases risk of lung cancer.
February 9, 2026 at 4:37 PM
i try to keep up with the research on my vices so i know my risk levels and i'm not here to say smoking weed is "good" for you (there are higher risks of lung infection, etc.) but i think something that might surprise people is how little evidence there is that it increases risk of lung cancer.
Reposted by functional moron
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
February 9, 2026 at 4:07 PM
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
Reposted by functional moron
This is like something out of a horror movie, my god
We are in a small community outside Minneapolis and a child arrived to an empty house on Friday. No parents, ice kidnapped them and just leave children to wander alone after school
February 8, 2026 at 8:34 PM
This is like something out of a horror movie, my god