New lettuce
@lettuce.bsky.social
There's no business
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iospu3tavlzqplkpbgpiz6nb/feed/aaafjks2ddefk
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iospu3tavlzqplkpbgpiz6nb/feed/aaafjks2ddefk
Pinned
New lettuce
@lettuce.bsky.social
· Nov 7
[after learning about how muscles work] oh so we're marionettes from the inside
Reposted by New lettuce
I use to have friends until they all disappeared one by one during a camping trip
January 21, 2026 at 11:43 PM
I use to have friends until they all disappeared one by one during a camping trip
Reposted by New lettuce
How much of the obsession with Greenland do we think can be blamed on the Mercator projection
January 21, 2026 at 8:00 PM
How much of the obsession with Greenland do we think can be blamed on the Mercator projection
Reposted by New lettuce
This is utterly brilliant comedy
Pee-Wee Feeding Dog
YouTube video by brianpergande
youtu.be
January 21, 2026 at 6:20 AM
This is utterly brilliant comedy
Reposted by New lettuce
a few nights ago i rode a bus for about 15 minutes or so. once it got close to the stop near my home i hit the button to request a stop. soon after, the bus driver stopped the bus and let me off
January 21, 2026 at 2:24 AM
a few nights ago i rode a bus for about 15 minutes or so. once it got close to the stop near my home i hit the button to request a stop. soon after, the bus driver stopped the bus and let me off
Reposted by New lettuce
In another unsettling development, the portrait who watches things from across the room is now rolling their eyes
January 16, 2026 at 12:29 AM
In another unsettling development, the portrait who watches things from across the room is now rolling their eyes
Jasmine only loved him for his rug
January 20, 2026 at 7:42 AM
Jasmine only loved him for his rug
Reposted by New lettuce
just drove a bus like crazy all over the place lol everybodys mad stay plat losers
January 20, 2026 at 4:52 AM
just drove a bus like crazy all over the place lol everybodys mad stay plat losers
Reposted by New lettuce
(at the animal shelter) and what manner of beast is this
January 19, 2026 at 7:26 PM
(at the animal shelter) and what manner of beast is this
Reposted by New lettuce
Over 30 millions years of evolution has given us the perfect bird.
January 17, 2026 at 7:02 PM
Over 30 millions years of evolution has given us the perfect bird.
Reposted by New lettuce
Suspiciously asking my wife who's funding her anytime she criticizes me
January 17, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Suspiciously asking my wife who's funding her anytime she criticizes me
Reposted by New lettuce
Nutz Deep II North
Spencer, WI
Spencer, WI
January 10, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Nutz Deep II North
Spencer, WI
Spencer, WI
Reposted by New lettuce
babe are u ok? u've barely sipped ur groth
January 15, 2026 at 11:05 PM
babe are u ok? u've barely sipped ur groth
Reposted by New lettuce
My C̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ President Is An Honor Student At Robinson Elementary
January 16, 2026 at 2:29 AM
My C̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ President Is An Honor Student At Robinson Elementary
Reposted by New lettuce
this is genuinely incredible
January 15, 2026 at 1:31 PM
this is genuinely incredible
Reposted by New lettuce
Idea: a sun that sets later
January 15, 2026 at 10:17 PM
Idea: a sun that sets later
Reposted by New lettuce
Up to 40% of likes on my posts are caused by people trying to wipe honey mustard sauce off their screen
January 15, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Up to 40% of likes on my posts are caused by people trying to wipe honey mustard sauce off their screen
Reposted by New lettuce
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
January 12, 2026 at 9:33 PM
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
Reposted by New lettuce
a murderer goes to murder me but with each stab i strategically move my body so that he hits several acupuncture points, making me feel amazing
December 12, 2025 at 11:27 PM
a murderer goes to murder me but with each stab i strategically move my body so that he hits several acupuncture points, making me feel amazing
Everything about this is awful, but this one sentence keeps rattling around my head
![An excerpt from the People magazine article quoted below, quoting a neighbor of ICE agent Jonathan Ross:
"[He said he] enjoyed border control... but loved plants," she says.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:iospu3tavlzqplkpbgpiz6nb/bafkreighg2cdaq23liioqmddqhw6gtqate32ngvtitep7qefsv72hr6pky@jpeg)
January 13, 2026 at 1:41 AM
Everything about this is awful, but this one sentence keeps rattling around my head
Reposted by New lettuce
baby's first uhhhhhh introduction to the concept of a scientific binomial
![mock-up of a two-page spread for a book.
left page: "How to read this book
Different languages around the world have different words for the same things.
[drawing of a pear in green and orange]
In Mandarin, this is called a Li.
In Spanish, this is called a Pera.
In English, this is called a Pear.
In Hindi, this is called a Nashpati.
In Russian, this is called a Grusha.".
right page: "To keep track of what they are talking about, scientists give every kind of living thing its own scientific name. These names are exactly the same everywhere in the world.
The scientific name for this fruit is Pyrus.
Many scientific names come from Ancient Greek or Latin, but they can include words from any language. Sometimes, scientists name a living thing after another person, as a tribute or a sign of respect. Sometimes, scientific names include the place where the living thing was found.
Scientific names look complicated by themselves, but they are all made up of smaller words. If you learn the parts, you can put them together."](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:5lfgdslvkgl6swnj36dosno7/bafkreictkiy4waanyv62u6vkffoxvz6s7ew7dv3qmdu4abkvoat3ro7y6m@jpeg)
January 12, 2026 at 8:46 PM
baby's first uhhhhhh introduction to the concept of a scientific binomial
Reposted by New lettuce
I'm not welcoming new people to Bluesky. You can't just swan in here and expect us to sing Be Our Guest for you. We've been cursed to live here because of the actions of a beast, we must scare away the lost lest they suffer the same fate as us.
January 12, 2026 at 11:29 AM
I'm not welcoming new people to Bluesky. You can't just swan in here and expect us to sing Be Our Guest for you. We've been cursed to live here because of the actions of a beast, we must scare away the lost lest they suffer the same fate as us.
Reposted by New lettuce
Reposted by New lettuce
Look, things are accelerating toward collapse, but this episode is one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a long time and might lift you as well.
Andy Daly is a genius, as are Matt Gourley, Mark McConville, Amanda Lund, and @pftompkins.bsky.social.
shows.acast.com/bonanasforbo...
Andy Daly is a genius, as are Matt Gourley, Mark McConville, Amanda Lund, and @pftompkins.bsky.social.
shows.acast.com/bonanasforbo...
The Andy Daly Podcast Project Presents Extravaganza Octopod 1, Episode 2: Extravaganza: “The Schlitz Playhouse of Stars” | Bonanas for Bonanza
shows.acast.com
January 12, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Look, things are accelerating toward collapse, but this episode is one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a long time and might lift you as well.
Andy Daly is a genius, as are Matt Gourley, Mark McConville, Amanda Lund, and @pftompkins.bsky.social.
shows.acast.com/bonanasforbo...
Andy Daly is a genius, as are Matt Gourley, Mark McConville, Amanda Lund, and @pftompkins.bsky.social.
shows.acast.com/bonanasforbo...
Reposted by New lettuce
they have to resort to this because of the 60-year jobs decline in the lackey, ruffian, and lummox industries. gone are the days where a degree in the loutish arts could reliably provide for your family
January 11, 2026 at 11:31 PM
they have to resort to this because of the 60-year jobs decline in the lackey, ruffian, and lummox industries. gone are the days where a degree in the loutish arts could reliably provide for your family