Pinned
Jesssscat
@jesssscat.bsky.social
· Nov 18
Forgot the word for a bottle opener and called it the alcohol key
Reposted by Jesssscat
Me and the fellas gonna misread the vibe later if you wanna pull up
February 5, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Me and the fellas gonna misread the vibe later if you wanna pull up
Reposted by Jesssscat
pronouncing testosterone like minestrone at the gym
December 27, 2024 at 4:21 PM
pronouncing testosterone like minestrone at the gym
Reposted by Jesssscat
ME: idk I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread
WAITER: no I meant are you okay as in like do you need more Diet Coke or anything
WAITER: no I meant are you okay as in like do you need more Diet Coke or anything
December 28, 2024 at 11:04 PM
ME: idk I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread
WAITER: no I meant are you okay as in like do you need more Diet Coke or anything
WAITER: no I meant are you okay as in like do you need more Diet Coke or anything
Reposted by Jesssscat
From now until January 6th, time and vegetables do not exist, they’re merely suggestions.
December 27, 2024 at 4:42 PM
From now until January 6th, time and vegetables do not exist, they’re merely suggestions.
Reposted by Jesssscat
I repost my own content because I’m in my self-love era.
December 27, 2024 at 4:23 PM
I repost my own content because I’m in my self-love era.
Reposted by Jesssscat
My personality is set to dark mode because nobody needs this chaos in full brightness.
December 27, 2024 at 4:21 PM
My personality is set to dark mode because nobody needs this chaos in full brightness.
Reposted by Jesssscat
Damn girl are you high fructose corn syrup cause you're sweet AF but like super bad for me
December 28, 2024 at 3:45 PM
Damn girl are you high fructose corn syrup cause you're sweet AF but like super bad for me
Reposted by Jesssscat
master splinter returning from the grocery store and once again finding all four of the ninja turtles stuck on their backs
December 28, 2024 at 11:18 PM
master splinter returning from the grocery store and once again finding all four of the ninja turtles stuck on their backs
Reposted by Jesssscat
[teaching my kid to be an independent thinker] Google it yourself son
December 27, 2024 at 8:13 PM
[teaching my kid to be an independent thinker] Google it yourself son
Sitting in separate rooms to have alone time but still sending each other memes is peak family Christmas
December 27, 2024 at 4:12 PM
Sitting in separate rooms to have alone time but still sending each other memes is peak family Christmas
Reposted by Jesssscat
[inhales helium from balloon] Your mom and I are getting a divorce
December 16, 2024 at 3:42 AM
[inhales helium from balloon] Your mom and I are getting a divorce
Reposted by Jesssscat
gandalfini would be a beautiful name for an italian wizard
December 16, 2024 at 5:23 AM
gandalfini would be a beautiful name for an italian wizard
Reposted by Jesssscat
just ordered a pb&j from room service like some kind of richie rich wannabe
December 16, 2024 at 5:55 AM
just ordered a pb&j from room service like some kind of richie rich wannabe
Reposted by Jesssscat
I like when people leave those free dogs tied up outside shops for you to take home when you're feeling sad
December 10, 2024 at 6:49 PM
I like when people leave those free dogs tied up outside shops for you to take home when you're feeling sad
Reposted by Jesssscat
There should be an app that lets people who love pickles know when there's a non-pickle person nearby who has one up for grabs
December 11, 2024 at 7:18 PM
There should be an app that lets people who love pickles know when there's a non-pickle person nearby who has one up for grabs
I love people watching sit in a cafe and watch people just bobbing about? absolutely! make up little stories about their lives and where they're off to? that's my jam
December 11, 2024 at 12:51 PM
I love people watching sit in a cafe and watch people just bobbing about? absolutely! make up little stories about their lives and where they're off to? that's my jam
Reposted by Jesssscat
a melon baller would work so well on a brain, i bet. just a guess.
November 29, 2024 at 5:47 PM
a melon baller would work so well on a brain, i bet. just a guess.
Reposted by Jesssscat
*showing my hairstylist a pic* i need you to kill this person for me
November 21, 2024 at 3:55 PM
*showing my hairstylist a pic* i need you to kill this person for me
Reposted by Jesssscat
[sign in the Terminator's kitchen]
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
November 26, 2024 at 5:47 AM
[sign in the Terminator's kitchen]
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
Reposted by Jesssscat
is the internal server error in the room with us right now
November 26, 2024 at 1:20 AM
is the internal server error in the room with us right now
Reposted by Jesssscat
but doctor i am internal server error
November 25, 2024 at 8:04 PM
but doctor i am internal server error
Reposted by Jesssscat
The internet was better when the modem screamed.
November 25, 2024 at 6:05 PM
The internet was better when the modem screamed.
Reposted by Jesssscat
trying something new for my anxiety today
November 26, 2024 at 12:34 PM
trying something new for my anxiety today
Reposted by Jesssscat
date: I think we’ve actually met before
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
November 25, 2024 at 8:39 PM
date: I think we’ve actually met before
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
Reposted by Jesssscat
me: remember when I rubbed you out?
genie: don’t say it like that
genie: don’t say it like that
November 26, 2024 at 3:27 AM
me: remember when I rubbed you out?
genie: don’t say it like that
genie: don’t say it like that