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@crisiscake.bsky.social
· Apr 9
so when i chew carrots & celery it's good for teeth but when I chew ice & sticks it's bad? grow up
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billions of dollars and everlasting fame to whoever figures out how to stop webpages from loading new elements just as you’re about to click on something
December 27, 2025 at 3:42 AM
billions of dollars and everlasting fame to whoever figures out how to stop webpages from loading new elements just as you’re about to click on something
electric scooter is a sideway segway
December 27, 2025 at 6:36 AM
electric scooter is a sideway segway
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building a strawman with my bare hands and proceeding to scream at it in horror
December 27, 2025 at 4:34 AM
building a strawman with my bare hands and proceeding to scream at it in horror
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Missed my interview at Random House because I guessed wrong.
December 27, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Missed my interview at Random House because I guessed wrong.
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tv you watch: 6 part Netflix docuseries about The Tennessee Shoe Man
tv i watch:
tv i watch:
December 27, 2025 at 4:44 AM
tv you watch: 6 part Netflix docuseries about The Tennessee Shoe Man
tv i watch:
tv i watch:
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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for life.
Teach a fish to man, and it'll get anxiety.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for life.
Teach a fish to man, and it'll get anxiety.
December 27, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for life.
Teach a fish to man, and it'll get anxiety.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for life.
Teach a fish to man, and it'll get anxiety.
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i am going to learn every unmarketable skill there is
December 27, 2025 at 4:52 AM
i am going to learn every unmarketable skill there is
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That's what the film The Lighthouse was about.
December 26, 2025 at 11:44 PM
That's what the film The Lighthouse was about.
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Just gonna nod off for a quick evening nap before I have to wake up to get ready for bed.
December 27, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Just gonna nod off for a quick evening nap before I have to wake up to get ready for bed.
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Thought I saw a delicious pizza in the creek, shimmering up at me, but it turned out to be fool’s pizza—a big disc of iron pyrite that just looked like pizza, & tasted, at best, like a stale focaccia.
December 27, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Thought I saw a delicious pizza in the creek, shimmering up at me, but it turned out to be fool’s pizza—a big disc of iron pyrite that just looked like pizza, & tasted, at best, like a stale focaccia.
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i’m going to become the first man to ride a motorcycle through the sun
September 8, 2025 at 2:40 AM
i’m going to become the first man to ride a motorcycle through the sun
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did a fire write this
December 27, 2025 at 4:47 AM
did a fire write this
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person: *screaming*
me: thats a good point
me: thats a good point
December 27, 2025 at 2:59 AM
person: *screaming*
me: thats a good point
me: thats a good point
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thinking about setting the roomba free for the holidays, just opening the door and letting it go (in case its new years resolution is to kill)
December 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
thinking about setting the roomba free for the holidays, just opening the door and letting it go (in case its new years resolution is to kill)
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it’s actually crazy to be like ‘do not try to improve the material conditions of anyone’s life as an elected official, that is very damaging’
December 27, 2025 at 12:15 AM
it’s actually crazy to be like ‘do not try to improve the material conditions of anyone’s life as an elected official, that is very damaging’
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"you affirm that you offer up this power willingly, ensign"
"yes"
"explain yourself"
"hierarchy's not going to dismantle itself, captain. I'm most useful to this community as a weapon"
"you understand that you can revoke this consent at any time outside of combat"
"yes, captain. safeword: echo"
"yes"
"explain yourself"
"hierarchy's not going to dismantle itself, captain. I'm most useful to this community as a weapon"
"you understand that you can revoke this consent at any time outside of combat"
"yes, captain. safeword: echo"
And if you need a prompt (if you'd like to know what's on my mind right now): anarchist mechsploitation.
December 17, 2025 at 6:42 PM
"you affirm that you offer up this power willingly, ensign"
"yes"
"explain yourself"
"hierarchy's not going to dismantle itself, captain. I'm most useful to this community as a weapon"
"you understand that you can revoke this consent at any time outside of combat"
"yes, captain. safeword: echo"
"yes"
"explain yourself"
"hierarchy's not going to dismantle itself, captain. I'm most useful to this community as a weapon"
"you understand that you can revoke this consent at any time outside of combat"
"yes, captain. safeword: echo"
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Graphics: the worst thing to happen to video games in the last half century
December 26, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Graphics: the worst thing to happen to video games in the last half century
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pajama pants just love earning overtime pay during the holidays
December 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
pajama pants just love earning overtime pay during the holidays
i don't have the jaunty charisma to pull off calling everybody boss, or hon, or hoss but damn if i don't respect it in those that do
December 26, 2025 at 11:14 PM
i don't have the jaunty charisma to pull off calling everybody boss, or hon, or hoss but damn if i don't respect it in those that do
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if you're going to keep an ace up your sleeve, make sure the game you're playing values aces as more than one before whipping that bad boy out
December 26, 2025 at 8:27 PM
if you're going to keep an ace up your sleeve, make sure the game you're playing values aces as more than one before whipping that bad boy out
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NYT when a trans man wants to take testosterone: 😡😡😡😡😡
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Earlier this year, we published an article on how women are increasingly seeking out testosterone to help with energy or their sex lives. We followed up with one woman who went on testosterone to help with her menopausal symptoms. The effects had unexpected consequences for her marriage.
What It’s Like When Your Wife Goes on Testosterone
She went on testosterone to help with her menopausal symptoms. The effects had unexpected consequences for their marriage.
nyti.ms
December 26, 2025 at 7:59 PM
NYT when a trans man wants to take testosterone: 😡😡😡😡😡
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
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That time of year again!
December 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
That time of year again!
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Me in real life:
“Jump? Are you joking? It might destroy me.”
Me playing a video game:
“Why can’t I jump in this game? This feels so restrictive and unrealistic? Why would they design a game where I can’t jump!”
“Jump? Are you joking? It might destroy me.”
Me playing a video game:
“Why can’t I jump in this game? This feels so restrictive and unrealistic? Why would they design a game where I can’t jump!”
December 26, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Me in real life:
“Jump? Are you joking? It might destroy me.”
Me playing a video game:
“Why can’t I jump in this game? This feels so restrictive and unrealistic? Why would they design a game where I can’t jump!”
“Jump? Are you joking? It might destroy me.”
Me playing a video game:
“Why can’t I jump in this game? This feels so restrictive and unrealistic? Why would they design a game where I can’t jump!”
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Whenever I’m at a bar, I like to sit in a seat directly under a TV playing some sort of sports game so I can pretend like a bunch of SportsBros are cheering for me while I eat my mozzarella sticks.
December 26, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Whenever I’m at a bar, I like to sit in a seat directly under a TV playing some sort of sports game so I can pretend like a bunch of SportsBros are cheering for me while I eat my mozzarella sticks.