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Groceries
@crisiscake.bsky.social
· Nov 21
I wrote you a poem.
It goes:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
*coughs blood*
It goes:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
*coughs blood*
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Joke’s on you guys, I was sad before I logged on
February 13, 2026 at 6:28 AM
Joke’s on you guys, I was sad before I logged on
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Fascinating how humans evolved in symbiosis with other species, like the toaster oven.
February 13, 2026 at 9:32 AM
Fascinating how humans evolved in symbiosis with other species, like the toaster oven.
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It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
February 11, 2026 at 4:52 AM
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
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“I’ve reviewed over 50 sticky toffee puddings” is an incredibly powerful way to begin a video
February 11, 2026 at 5:15 PM
“I’ve reviewed over 50 sticky toffee puddings” is an incredibly powerful way to begin a video
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I'm here to debate you. Come at me, bro.
February 12, 2026 at 1:46 PM
I'm here to debate you. Come at me, bro.
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The Winter Olympics seem pretty easy. Get down that hill? Done
February 12, 2026 at 1:54 PM
The Winter Olympics seem pretty easy. Get down that hill? Done
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Let's see who's really behind the mask
February 12, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Let's see who's really behind the mask
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It was 1992 and I was at the keyboard of my Gateway desktop participating in a flame war in some chat room and I distinctly remember typing “you jagoffs need to go outside and touch grass” in case you want to know the real origin story of that phrase
February 12, 2026 at 3:06 PM
It was 1992 and I was at the keyboard of my Gateway desktop participating in a flame war in some chat room and I distinctly remember typing “you jagoffs need to go outside and touch grass” in case you want to know the real origin story of that phrase
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The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite
February 12, 2026 at 4:44 PM
The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite
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My New Year’s resolution of not doing anything different is going great
February 12, 2026 at 4:51 PM
My New Year’s resolution of not doing anything different is going great
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Thinking about when email used to be a huge productivity killer because I ever looked at it.
February 12, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Thinking about when email used to be a huge productivity killer because I ever looked at it.
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A reverse Double Stuf Oreo: a normal amount of crème filling between two extra-thick chocolate wafers. Sound impossible? It’s not...theoretical food scientists are now saying it could happen within our lifetime.
February 12, 2026 at 4:58 PM
A reverse Double Stuf Oreo: a normal amount of crème filling between two extra-thick chocolate wafers. Sound impossible? It’s not...theoretical food scientists are now saying it could happen within our lifetime.
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My continued existence is maintained under duress.
February 12, 2026 at 4:59 PM
My continued existence is maintained under duress.
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Me: *releases balloon into the air* you're free now
Helium Inside Balloon: why have you locked me in this sky prison
Helium Inside Balloon: why have you locked me in this sky prison
February 12, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Me: *releases balloon into the air* you're free now
Helium Inside Balloon: why have you locked me in this sky prison
Helium Inside Balloon: why have you locked me in this sky prison
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What if they’re shocking because it’s names like Poopoo McGillicutty and Diarrhea Johnson?
February 12, 2026 at 5:11 PM
What if they’re shocking because it’s names like Poopoo McGillicutty and Diarrhea Johnson?
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Finally a real holiday to celebrate
February 12, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Finally a real holiday to celebrate
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if the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie you may be entitled to compensation
February 12, 2026 at 6:09 PM
if the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie you may be entitled to compensation
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Like “krab” or “cheez,” Double Stuf Oreos are intentionally misspelled because the filling doesn’t meet the minimum legal requirements to be called “stuff.”
February 12, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Like “krab” or “cheez,” Double Stuf Oreos are intentionally misspelled because the filling doesn’t meet the minimum legal requirements to be called “stuff.”
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it sucks that I lose all contact with reality when I log off of bsky
February 12, 2026 at 7:10 PM
it sucks that I lose all contact with reality when I log off of bsky
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THIS COLD DARK RECTANGLE OF SAD AND GLASS IS NOT GIVING ME THE SUPPORT AND COMFORT I REQUIRE.
February 12, 2026 at 7:11 PM
THIS COLD DARK RECTANGLE OF SAD AND GLASS IS NOT GIVING ME THE SUPPORT AND COMFORT I REQUIRE.
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If I die of a papercut infection, I just want all to know I fought courageously against paper
February 12, 2026 at 7:03 PM
If I die of a papercut infection, I just want all to know I fought courageously against paper
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Every day is Fat Tuesday when you love spaghetti as much as I do
February 12, 2026 at 7:28 PM
Every day is Fat Tuesday when you love spaghetti as much as I do
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just call me a dyson airwrap because i am a curling fan
February 12, 2026 at 6:44 PM
just call me a dyson airwrap because i am a curling fan
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Of course every joke is a cry for help. Are you new to this planet?
February 12, 2026 at 8:05 PM
Of course every joke is a cry for help. Are you new to this planet?