Reposted by Hambone
There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall
July 5, 2025 at 12:15 AM
There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall
Reposted by Hambone
her: have a favorite cartoon?
me: i’m fond of popeye
my beefy uncle tim: the spinach he ate was tainted from the lead in those cans, that’s what made him strong.
me: i’m fond of popeye
my beefy uncle tim: the spinach he ate was tainted from the lead in those cans, that’s what made him strong.
May 18, 2025 at 7:21 AM
her: have a favorite cartoon?
me: i’m fond of popeye
my beefy uncle tim: the spinach he ate was tainted from the lead in those cans, that’s what made him strong.
me: i’m fond of popeye
my beefy uncle tim: the spinach he ate was tainted from the lead in those cans, that’s what made him strong.
Reposted by Hambone
Oh, so... an evil sorcerer "inverted" you? So that all your organs are on the outside of your skin? Wow... sorry, but... it's kinda giving the ick
June 20, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Oh, so... an evil sorcerer "inverted" you? So that all your organs are on the outside of your skin? Wow... sorry, but... it's kinda giving the ick
Reposted by Hambone
There are a few garden gnome enthusiasts in my neighbourhood and though we’ve never spoken I do consider us engaged in a dialogue.
June 11, 2025 at 12:57 AM
There are a few garden gnome enthusiasts in my neighbourhood and though we’ve never spoken I do consider us engaged in a dialogue.
Reposted by Hambone
me and the boys are gonna follow this ghastly floating light deeper into the swamp if you want to join
November 19, 2024 at 3:06 PM
me and the boys are gonna follow this ghastly floating light deeper into the swamp if you want to join
Reposted by Hambone
girl takes you home from the bar and her TV is vertical so she can watch tiktoks on it
November 2, 2023 at 7:09 PM
girl takes you home from the bar and her TV is vertical so she can watch tiktoks on it
Reposted by Hambone
the perfect wall clock doesn't ex......
March 10, 2025 at 2:52 PM
the perfect wall clock doesn't ex......
Reposted by Hambone
Reposted by Hambone
[every assassin’s creed game]
NPC: hello it is i, your best friend wolfgang amadeus mozart! i made you this crossbow
NPC: hello it is i, your best friend wolfgang amadeus mozart! i made you this crossbow
March 30, 2025 at 3:03 PM
[every assassin’s creed game]
NPC: hello it is i, your best friend wolfgang amadeus mozart! i made you this crossbow
NPC: hello it is i, your best friend wolfgang amadeus mozart! i made you this crossbow
Reposted by Hambone
love a nice, smooth frog
March 30, 2025 at 3:30 PM
love a nice, smooth frog
Reposted by Hambone
Parrots stating that the Greeneville Zoo sucks are expressing their own opinions and not the views of the Greeneville Zoo.
March 26, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Parrots stating that the Greeneville Zoo sucks are expressing their own opinions and not the views of the Greeneville Zoo.
Reposted by Hambone
The burrowing owl enclosure is closed for maintenance. They delved too greedily, too deep.
March 28, 2025 at 10:13 PM
The burrowing owl enclosure is closed for maintenance. They delved too greedily, too deep.
Reposted by Hambone
sorry for the mediocre posting I gotta recharge the amulet
March 29, 2025 at 3:19 PM
sorry for the mediocre posting I gotta recharge the amulet
"When mom takes the Doritos chips away"
March 21, 2025 at 3:32 AM
"When mom takes the Doritos chips away"
Reposted by Hambone
Maybe she was born with it, maybe it's always been there, predating time itself, spectral, ravenous, past the corner of her eye, until she looks, then it is gone.
April 17, 2024 at 9:37 PM
Maybe she was born with it, maybe it's always been there, predating time itself, spectral, ravenous, past the corner of her eye, until she looks, then it is gone.
Reposted by Hambone
I’m sorry for the things I said after I cut my fingernails too short
April 17, 2024 at 6:04 PM
I’m sorry for the things I said after I cut my fingernails too short
Reposted by Hambone
i am posting a lot bc i escaped from my crate and my watchers cannot find me
November 26, 2023 at 9:05 PM
i am posting a lot bc i escaped from my crate and my watchers cannot find me
Reposted by Hambone
after lincoln died a baby crawled out of his hat and the theatre started chanting "the soul is in the boy"
March 23, 2024 at 1:19 AM
after lincoln died a baby crawled out of his hat and the theatre started chanting "the soul is in the boy"
Reposted by Hambone
Honestly if you hire the three stooges with their job history/references at this point you get what you deserve
April 1, 2024 at 4:11 PM
Honestly if you hire the three stooges with their job history/references at this point you get what you deserve
Reposted by Hambone
and introducing The Gloose
July 28, 2023 at 4:44 PM
and introducing The Gloose
Reposted by Hambone
Just woke up in the yard after a bout of Eclipse Sickness and there are a couple thousand dead crows surrounding me. Neighbors’ dogs are still barking in a way that I can’t describe
April 9, 2024 at 12:42 AM
Just woke up in the yard after a bout of Eclipse Sickness and there are a couple thousand dead crows surrounding me. Neighbors’ dogs are still barking in a way that I can’t describe
Reposted by Hambone
"It's like nobody wants to work anymore have you noticed that?" Bill Maher passes me the joint. I swallow it whole without breaking eye contact. "I haven't, Bill."
April 4, 2024 at 3:58 PM
"It's like nobody wants to work anymore have you noticed that?" Bill Maher passes me the joint. I swallow it whole without breaking eye contact. "I haven't, Bill."
Reposted by Hambone
If it were an actual emergency, I'm sure I could learn to rollerblade.
March 30, 2024 at 12:48 AM
If it were an actual emergency, I'm sure I could learn to rollerblade.