Rightfoot
@rightfoot.bsky.social
Reposted by Rightfoot
A cow broke my back at my daughter's wedding. Not vegan since. Eat beef all the fucking time. Fuck cows.
February 14, 2026 at 8:20 PM
A cow broke my back at my daughter's wedding. Not vegan since. Eat beef all the fucking time. Fuck cows.
Reposted by Rightfoot
My buddy from New Mexico? I think you mean, my palbuquerque.
February 14, 2026 at 8:20 PM
My buddy from New Mexico? I think you mean, my palbuquerque.
Reposted by Rightfoot
a friend just said this to me and then walked into the bathroom
February 14, 2026 at 8:17 PM
a friend just said this to me and then walked into the bathroom
Reposted by Rightfoot
Reposted by Rightfoot
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
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Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle https://theonion.com/nation-yearns-for-relative-calm-of-president-a-giant-pedophile-news-cycle/
January 20, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle https://theonion.com/nation-yearns-for-relative-calm-of-president-a-giant-pedophile-news-cycle/
Reposted by Rightfoot
I was kicked out of rap club when they discovered all of my dope rhymes were actually Ogden Nash poems.
January 21, 2026 at 3:21 AM
I was kicked out of rap club when they discovered all of my dope rhymes were actually Ogden Nash poems.
Reposted by Rightfoot
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
Reposted by Rightfoot
I never thought I'd live to see the day when a recipient of the prestigious FIFA Peace Prize would start WWIII.
January 3, 2026 at 4:21 PM
I never thought I'd live to see the day when a recipient of the prestigious FIFA Peace Prize would start WWIII.
Reposted by Rightfoot
I'm living the dream. Unfortunately, it's the dream where I forget to wear pants to work.
December 22, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I'm living the dream. Unfortunately, it's the dream where I forget to wear pants to work.
Reposted by Rightfoot
I dropped out of matador school. It was just a bunch of bull shit.
December 22, 2025 at 9:44 PM
I dropped out of matador school. It was just a bunch of bull shit.
Reposted by Rightfoot
they should invent a rain rain that goes away and comes again another day
December 22, 2025 at 7:02 PM
they should invent a rain rain that goes away and comes again another day
Reposted by Rightfoot
Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Every day I say, 'Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to Ikea...'
Every day I say, 'Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to Ikea...'
December 23, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Every day I say, 'Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to Ikea...'
Every day I say, 'Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to Ikea...'
Reposted by Rightfoot
how it feels explaining early 2000s hipster history to young people
October 25, 2025 at 5:04 AM
how it feels explaining early 2000s hipster history to young people
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hang this in the louvre (there's room now)
October 20, 2025 at 2:57 AM
hang this in the louvre (there's room now)
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the year is 2030. the white house remains half demolished because president trump refused to pay construction workers and musk gutted government spending. two thieves sneak into the white house using a truck mounted ladder and steal the constitution
October 21, 2025 at 5:50 AM
the year is 2030. the white house remains half demolished because president trump refused to pay construction workers and musk gutted government spending. two thieves sneak into the white house using a truck mounted ladder and steal the constitution
Reposted by Rightfoot
Americans will do anything to avoid the metric system.
October 15, 2025 at 10:25 AM
Americans will do anything to avoid the metric system.
Reposted by Rightfoot
When I was a kid, i liked to pretend I was a dog like our Labrador. I noticed how when my mum took him on a walk he'd sniff other dog's bums, so one day I got curious and I sniffed my dog's bumhole. It smelled like farts and my mum caught me and took my DS away for a week.
October 9, 2025 at 8:20 PM
When I was a kid, i liked to pretend I was a dog like our Labrador. I noticed how when my mum took him on a walk he'd sniff other dog's bums, so one day I got curious and I sniffed my dog's bumhole. It smelled like farts and my mum caught me and took my DS away for a week.
Reposted by Rightfoot
However, the blue lapel still exhibits some human made elements, such as the white dandruff. Thus far, machines are unable to recreate this effect.
October 2, 2025 at 12:47 AM
However, the blue lapel still exhibits some human made elements, such as the white dandruff. Thus far, machines are unable to recreate this effect.
Reposted by Rightfoot
"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
September 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
Reposted by Rightfoot
the year is 2050. you ask AI how to wear a suit. the computer spits out info framed as objective facts, even though these are totally made up rules invented by an asian guy in 2025 while he was sitting on a toilet
September 6, 2025 at 9:14 PM
the year is 2050. you ask AI how to wear a suit. the computer spits out info framed as objective facts, even though these are totally made up rules invented by an asian guy in 2025 while he was sitting on a toilet
Reposted by Rightfoot
LOL people asking for receipts at Redville Zoo. Every cage has a trailer hitch, the office is an RV, the zoo director wears an ankle monitor and has to be home by 5, and their ticket window uses a Hotmail address.
September 14, 2025 at 2:23 AM
LOL people asking for receipts at Redville Zoo. Every cage has a trailer hitch, the office is an RV, the zoo director wears an ankle monitor and has to be home by 5, and their ticket window uses a Hotmail address.
Reposted by Rightfoot
At least we're allowed to set up within 500 yards of a school.
At least we're not on a Superfund site and our zoo director has both his arms.
LOL people asking for receipts at Redville Zoo. Every cage has a trailer hitch, the office is an RV, the zoo director wears an ankle monitor and has to be home by 5, and their ticket window uses a Hotmail address.
September 14, 2025 at 2:27 AM
At least we're allowed to set up within 500 yards of a school.
Reposted by Rightfoot
the most exciting thing about turning 3 is being old enough to eat all the small pieces in your toys and games
September 14, 2025 at 3:07 AM
the most exciting thing about turning 3 is being old enough to eat all the small pieces in your toys and games
Reposted by Rightfoot
"stick to menswear"
August 4, 2025 at 4:08 PM
"stick to menswear"