John
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johncnj.bsky.social
John
@johncnj.bsky.social
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Somehow I always thought that being on the right side of history would probably feel better than this.
Does the existence of Tom Petty imply that in the bizarro universe there exists a Tom Magnanimous?
November 15, 2025 at 1:06 AM
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Area dog still confused about the time change. Insists it’s dinner time an hour early
November 15, 2025 at 12:52 AM
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TV Show Pitch: Drunk Search History. It's like Drunk History but you have to explain what's in your search history, all of it.
November 14, 2025 at 7:30 PM
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I have it on good authority that a member of the Royal Family has several nasty ulcers. But I can't say anything else about them. Four regal lesions.
November 14, 2025 at 9:30 PM
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Yes, that is her entire job description.
November 14, 2025 at 9:55 PM
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The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
November 14, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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Carl Bernstein’s son wrote a fawning profile of Olivia Nuzzi, and rumor has it Trump blew Bill Clinton. I’d say that’s enough for one day.
November 14, 2025 at 11:41 PM
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Trump loves the uneducated.
Educational polarization is a hell of a thing. People with a pretty fancy undergrad education who are still engaged with the institution are exactly the kind of people who are way more likely to have become increasingly anti-Trump over the past decade.
November 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
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🚨| BREAKING: Epstein Itemized for Trump Biographer Some New Areas of Trump Corruption—Giving a Road Map to Investigators

1. Who funded Mar-a-Lago mortgage(s) (Epstein implies he and Russians did)
2. Hawaiian Tropic contests (implied sexual misconduct)
3. Trump Shuttle
4. Legality of His Inheritance
November 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
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November 14, 2025 at 10:01 PM
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Jesus having the term “in-app purchases” explained to him and just wordlessly filling a sock with nickels
November 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
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I know the real concern is the lack of journalistic integrity but I think the real crime here is seeing this face and thinking to yourself "yes I need more of that" His eyes don't even line up. This is a clear case of royals inbreeding
November 14, 2025 at 10:20 PM
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Trump just told reporters on Air Force One that he hasn’t ruled out a pardon for Ghislane Maxwell
November 15, 2025 at 12:22 AM
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DONALD TRUMP: look, nobody, nobody gives better blowjobs than me, many people are saying this, okay? a big, strong man once came up to me with tears in his eyes and a boner in his pants and begged "Mr. President, please, blow me." WHERE'S HUNTER? not giving blowjobs like me! SAD!
November 14, 2025 at 9:46 PM
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Most of the hot naked people i followed in 2023 only post about politics now. It’s outrageous the way trump has destroyed our American way of life
November 15, 2025 at 12:50 AM
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Who would've guessed that "the Mark of the Beast" would wind up being just a clot of cheap spray-tan goo.
November 14, 2025 at 9:49 PM
I already knew that Vince Gilligan was a creative genius, but (SPOILER ALERT) this week’s PLUR1BUS episode really redefined what a cold open can be.
November 14, 2025 at 11:13 PM
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paid $1200 for the amazing camera on this phone so i could take pictures of the products at the supermarket and check with my wife if i'm buying the right thing and then keep the photo for 4 years.
November 14, 2025 at 10:38 PM
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I think I'm just going to feed the entirety of the dictionary into the mute word list for a bit.
November 14, 2025 at 6:35 PM
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"Your life has no direction."

"Yes it does."

"What?"

"Untoward."
November 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
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I said sally sells sea shells by the sea shore five times fast pls respond
November 14, 2025 at 7:36 PM
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[restaurant]

ME: I’m meeting my blind date here.
HOSTESS: Do you have reservations?
ME: Yes, but my friend tells me she’s very nice.
November 14, 2025 at 9:08 PM
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I try to spend as little time as possible trapped in haunted oil paintings. The food in there is terrible and the people are all from like 500 years ago so they haven't even seen any good movies
November 14, 2025 at 9:42 PM
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Remember when Elon Musk said how bad the Epstein files were? He wasn't lying that time.
November 14, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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everything I know about the Nuzzi/RFK Jr affair I have learned against my will
November 14, 2025 at 9:23 PM