Pinned
Jay
@jaysbored.bsky.social
· Nov 22
Marriage is like a marathon. I’m never gonna run a fucking marathon.
Reposted by Jay
i wish a motherfucker would (have a lovely day)
December 21, 2025 at 5:00 PM
i wish a motherfucker would (have a lovely day)
Reposted by Jay
I either have 5 tubes of Chapstick or 0 but never in the middle
December 21, 2025 at 2:09 AM
I either have 5 tubes of Chapstick or 0 but never in the middle
Reposted by Jay
how to handle the what now
Wet rat winter? How to handle toilet rats after Washington's heavy rain
Rats finding their way through plumbing and up through toilets is nothing new. But after heavy rain and flooding, like the record-setting floods Washington state experienced in December 2025, can forc...
www.kuow.org
December 20, 2025 at 9:34 PM
how to handle the what now
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when you don't have kids you're essentially breaking a 4-billion-year chain of reproduction and genetic transfer, which is the ultimate flex on nature IMHO
December 20, 2025 at 5:34 PM
when you don't have kids you're essentially breaking a 4-billion-year chain of reproduction and genetic transfer, which is the ultimate flex on nature IMHO
Reposted by Jay
Front of the Christmas tree in the streets.
Back of the Christmas tree in the sheets.
Back of the Christmas tree in the sheets.
December 13, 2024 at 6:36 PM
Front of the Christmas tree in the streets.
Back of the Christmas tree in the sheets.
Back of the Christmas tree in the sheets.
Reposted by Jay
They totally threw Bill Clinton under the bus with photos of him being inappropriate with teenagers in the files. I'm a big fan of him being thrown under the bus I just think we all know there's a whole more folks who can fit under that bus.
December 20, 2025 at 12:43 AM
They totally threw Bill Clinton under the bus with photos of him being inappropriate with teenagers in the files. I'm a big fan of him being thrown under the bus I just think we all know there's a whole more folks who can fit under that bus.
Reposted by Jay
It’s official they’re not releasing all the Epstein Files today. why? Because they don’t want to. Now let’s return you to our regular programming schedule of:
“This country is a misogynistic punchline”
“This country is a misogynistic punchline”
December 19, 2025 at 6:48 PM
It’s official they’re not releasing all the Epstein Files today. why? Because they don’t want to. Now let’s return you to our regular programming schedule of:
“This country is a misogynistic punchline”
“This country is a misogynistic punchline”
Reposted by Jay
Friend: What are you going to make for Christmas dinner?
Me: Probably a scene.
Me: Probably a scene.
December 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Friend: What are you going to make for Christmas dinner?
Me: Probably a scene.
Me: Probably a scene.
Reposted by Jay
The Grinch Who Stole My Virginity
December 18, 2025 at 3:28 AM
The Grinch Who Stole My Virginity
Reposted by Jay
The Grinch With the Dragon Tattoo
December 18, 2025 at 3:29 AM
The Grinch With the Dragon Tattoo
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The Grinch who stole my will to live.
December 19, 2025 at 12:22 AM
The Grinch who stole my will to live.
I still don’t understand how like 80% of news stories stem from just one asshole.
December 19, 2025 at 3:08 AM
I still don’t understand how like 80% of news stories stem from just one asshole.
Reposted by Jay
Visitors are coming, so you clean your messy house because your standard of cleanliness is based on the houses you visit, houses that look spotless since they cleaned up before you arrived after seeing your house was clean when they visited.
Together, we can stop this.
Don’t clean up.
Together, we can stop this.
Don’t clean up.
December 19, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Visitors are coming, so you clean your messy house because your standard of cleanliness is based on the houses you visit, houses that look spotless since they cleaned up before you arrived after seeing your house was clean when they visited.
Together, we can stop this.
Don’t clean up.
Together, we can stop this.
Don’t clean up.
Reposted by Jay
We regret to inform you that SpongeBob SquarePants has died from an acute case of dysentery. In lieu of flowers his family asks that you burn down a local Arby’s.
December 19, 2025 at 1:48 AM
We regret to inform you that SpongeBob SquarePants has died from an acute case of dysentery. In lieu of flowers his family asks that you burn down a local Arby’s.
As far as I’m concerned the Oscars could just be an email.
December 17, 2025 at 6:26 PM
As far as I’m concerned the Oscars could just be an email.
I hate Christmas. Let’s do another Halloween instead.
December 17, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I hate Christmas. Let’s do another Halloween instead.
Reposted by Jay
This is a photo from the Vanity Fair article. Notice how they have to arrange it so Stephen Miller is on the end, so it isn’t obvious that there is no reflection of him on the mirrored table.🧛
December 16, 2025 at 9:08 PM
This is a photo from the Vanity Fair article. Notice how they have to arrange it so Stephen Miller is on the end, so it isn’t obvious that there is no reflection of him on the mirrored table.🧛
Reposted by Jay
There’s old. Then there’s “you have to buy a water pick to avoid bone loss in your teeth” old.
December 10, 2025 at 6:01 AM
There’s old. Then there’s “you have to buy a water pick to avoid bone loss in your teeth” old.
Apple: We’ve changed how everything works on your phone.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
December 16, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Apple: We’ve changed how everything works on your phone.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
Me: K…why?
Apple: Because fuck you that’s why.
Reposted by Jay
if you see me with a chip clip in my hair mind your business
December 16, 2025 at 3:41 AM
if you see me with a chip clip in my hair mind your business
Reposted by Jay
The best I can do is give you my divided attention.
December 16, 2025 at 2:52 AM
The best I can do is give you my divided attention.
Reposted by Jay
Frankincense is the doctor, Myrrh is the stupid sound the monster makes, Kevin.
December 15, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Frankincense is the doctor, Myrrh is the stupid sound the monster makes, Kevin.
Reposted by Jay
Applied to a job at bsky dot app. Promised not to retweet things about cum or fucking anyone's mom. Also to stop saying retweet. Wish me luck fam
December 15, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Applied to a job at bsky dot app. Promised not to retweet things about cum or fucking anyone's mom. Also to stop saying retweet. Wish me luck fam
Reposted by Jay
insane move to imply that a murderer is your own supporter
December 15, 2025 at 5:19 PM
insane move to imply that a murderer is your own supporter
Reposted by Jay
you’ve definitely heard of elf on the shelf but are you ready for
December 13, 2025 at 9:18 PM
you’ve definitely heard of elf on the shelf but are you ready for