Jay
@jaydub083.bsky.social
“Writer.” Professional cynic.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6inp5yiltrxwaaysprylsihq/feed/aaaoilwlqd4pm
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6inp5yiltrxwaaysprylsihq/feed/aaaoilwlqd4pm
Pinned
Jay
@jaydub083.bsky.social
· Aug 24
My favorite color is 90s Taco Bell booth purple.
Reposted by Jay
I haven’t lost my faith in humanity, I never had any to begin with.
November 23, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I haven’t lost my faith in humanity, I never had any to begin with.
Reposted by Jay
I need a job that I can do in a hot tub.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 PM
I need a job that I can do in a hot tub.
Reposted by Jay
I bet it hurts really bad to get a boner if you’re wearing a suit of armor.
November 30, 2025 at 2:03 AM
I bet it hurts really bad to get a boner if you’re wearing a suit of armor.
Reposted by Jay
I’m not dead, but I’m not quite alive…
November 30, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I’m not dead, but I’m not quite alive…
Reposted by Jay
Don’t talk to me until I’ve eaten.
-a memoir
-a memoir
November 29, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Don’t talk to me until I’ve eaten.
-a memoir
-a memoir
I disagree, like as a hobby.
November 29, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I disagree, like as a hobby.
Reposted by Jay
(Being murdered)
Me: Excuse me but would you mind if I got a tarp from the garage and put it in here? You're kind of making a mess with my blood
Me: Excuse me but would you mind if I got a tarp from the garage and put it in here? You're kind of making a mess with my blood
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
(Being murdered)
Me: Excuse me but would you mind if I got a tarp from the garage and put it in here? You're kind of making a mess with my blood
Me: Excuse me but would you mind if I got a tarp from the garage and put it in here? You're kind of making a mess with my blood
Reposted by Jay
*jumps for joy*
*joy just out of reach*
*joy just out of reach*
November 29, 2025 at 8:34 PM
*jumps for joy*
*joy just out of reach*
*joy just out of reach*
Reposted by Jay
The Little Engine That Wished A Motherfucka Would
November 29, 2025 at 6:26 AM
The Little Engine That Wished A Motherfucka Would
Reposted by Jay
Harry Potter and the bidet of fire
November 27, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Harry Potter and the bidet of fire
A few of you live rent-free in my head — the rest of you tenants owe me money for November.
November 29, 2025 at 5:17 AM
A few of you live rent-free in my head — the rest of you tenants owe me money for November.
Reposted by Jay
My dog just barked at me for being in the kitchen. Bitch I pay all the bills
November 29, 2025 at 4:18 AM
My dog just barked at me for being in the kitchen. Bitch I pay all the bills
Reposted by Jay
If you have truck nuts on your Dodge Ram are they called Dodgeballs?
November 29, 2025 at 2:21 AM
If you have truck nuts on your Dodge Ram are they called Dodgeballs?
Reposted by Jay
sorry I went through your dog door and rearranged your furniture
November 29, 2025 at 2:32 AM
sorry I went through your dog door and rearranged your furniture
Reposted by Jay
I put the laughing face emoji next to that shitty thing I said. That’s how you know I was kidding but really wasn’t.
November 29, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I put the laughing face emoji next to that shitty thing I said. That’s how you know I was kidding but really wasn’t.
Reposted by Jay
bring back Pollos Hermanos
November 29, 2025 at 1:39 AM
bring back Pollos Hermanos
Reposted by Jay
*designs a bikini that holds chips in the top and queso in the bottom
November 29, 2025 at 12:50 AM
*designs a bikini that holds chips in the top and queso in the bottom
Reposted by Jay
If lethargy was a person, she’d be me.
November 28, 2025 at 10:37 PM
If lethargy was a person, she’d be me.
Reposted by Jay
i come from a long line of self-deprecationists
November 28, 2025 at 8:31 PM
i come from a long line of self-deprecationists
Reposted by Jay
Canadian guys 🤝 Midwestern US guys
wearing shorts in the snow
wearing shorts in the snow
November 28, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Canadian guys 🤝 Midwestern US guys
wearing shorts in the snow
wearing shorts in the snow
Reposted by Jay
(Concert)
Singer: wooooo who's ready to party all night?!?!
Me: i can party until 9 pm! Sometimes even 9:15!!!
Singer: wooooo who's ready to party all night?!?!
Me: i can party until 9 pm! Sometimes even 9:15!!!
November 28, 2025 at 9:37 PM
(Concert)
Singer: wooooo who's ready to party all night?!?!
Me: i can party until 9 pm! Sometimes even 9:15!!!
Singer: wooooo who's ready to party all night?!?!
Me: i can party until 9 pm! Sometimes even 9:15!!!
Reposted by Jay
the third time you eat leftovers it’s a rightover
November 28, 2025 at 8:00 PM
the third time you eat leftovers it’s a rightover
Reposted by Jay
Men did you know don’t have to turn left to turn right or right to turn left to steer your big truck and instead you can drive something that’s more penis-proportional
November 28, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Men did you know don’t have to turn left to turn right or right to turn left to steer your big truck and instead you can drive something that’s more penis-proportional
Reposted by Jay
Why is there an entire montage with stupid graphics to tell us we suck. We know.
November 28, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Why is there an entire montage with stupid graphics to tell us we suck. We know.
Reposted by Jay
Once I find the poems I wrote in eighth grade, you bitches have had it
November 28, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Once I find the poems I wrote in eighth grade, you bitches have had it