Gary Online
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gary.onl
Gary Online
@gary.onl
Reposted by Gary Online
i love gay people
November 22, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
replacing my all seasonal decorations with welcome interstellar vessel
3i/atlas adornments.
October 24, 2025 at 4:50 PM
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autocorrect is my greatest enemy "did you mean to say this" no literally everything I say is completely novel and has never been uttered before
November 22, 2025 at 3:12 AM
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I don’t think the world is prepared for Trump to run for a third term on a democratic socialist platform
November 21, 2025 at 9:42 PM
CDC website edited to say you can just rub a little dirt on it to prevent infection
CDC website edited to say you can eat a little uranium, as a treat.
CDC website edited to say chocolate milk probably comes from brown cows, maybe.
November 21, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
I'm made of stardust, but I still have to do chores.
November 21, 2025 at 4:29 PM
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I'm not gonna lie. On house arrest sounds pretty awesome
November 21, 2025 at 3:43 PM
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you’ve made your bed now produce a Broadway play in it
November 21, 2025 at 6:00 PM
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i need 12 hours of sleep
November 21, 2025 at 3:45 PM
So far this morning I've:
- woke up to a huge cat scratch on my forehead
- ran a leather belt through the washer/dryer
- dropped two cans of coke in the work parking lot and they both exploded like I was at an insane clown posse concert

It can only get better from here right? 😮‍💨
November 21, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
I would scroll my phone next to you so hard
November 21, 2025 at 5:45 AM
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The only thing more painful than typing into a tv is watching someone else type into a tv
November 21, 2025 at 2:37 AM
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How many years is a mental breakdown supposed to last?
November 20, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
My best replies are to deleted posts.
November 19, 2025 at 9:25 PM
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I respond to compliments in pretty much the same way a demon would respond to being baptized
June 8, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Me, running away from my problems
November 20, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Introduce yourself with the last five concerts you saw:

Turnstile
Blink 182
Hawthorne Heights
Leftover Crack & Days N Daze
Rusko / a bunch of other shit I don't remember at Lost Lands
Introduce yourself with the last five concerts you saw:

King Princess/SASAMI
Garbage
FKA Twigs
Janelle Monae & Grace Jones
Miya Folick

Got to cross seeing Grace off my all time bucket list! 🤩 and did it with my loves
@adamcr.bsky.social @theironkurtain.bsky.social @morganras.bsky.social
November 20, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
*First day as a drug dealer*: "is Pepsi ok?
November 20, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Logging on
November 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
How is your whole face one solid cold sore???
November 20, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Money back guarantee if the apocalypse occurs before the end of your 18 month installment plan
November 20, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
im in an emotionally abusive relationship with my government
November 20, 2025 at 8:57 PM
I have failed no nut November to the tune of 5lbs of various tree nuts and legumes
November 20, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
To everyone saying that people in our military already know not to follow unlawful orders, how do you explain almost 100 civilians murdered on fishing boats in the Caribbean so far?
November 20, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Reposted by Gary Online
we need an ozempic that makes you feel well-rested
November 20, 2025 at 1:49 AM