chris-mas elf
@fae-imposter.bsky.social
not the brightest knife in the crayon box; i like pets, books, and puppets; i do not want to see any of you naked
Pinned
Reposted by chris-mas elf
It’s sort of interesting that giving Sonic the Hedgehog a gun was a big deal but Nintendo has given Kirby a gun a few different times and no one really reacts because it’s like “yeah he’d have one”
December 11, 2025 at 2:47 AM
It’s sort of interesting that giving Sonic the Hedgehog a gun was a big deal but Nintendo has given Kirby a gun a few different times and no one really reacts because it’s like “yeah he’d have one”
Reposted by chris-mas elf
make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays
December 10, 2025 at 1:50 AM
make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays
Reposted by chris-mas elf
i’m never more disappointed than when i find a children’s book is british. don’t try and make scarf and laugh rhyme. we fought a war over this
December 8, 2025 at 12:11 AM
i’m never more disappointed than when i find a children’s book is british. don’t try and make scarf and laugh rhyme. we fought a war over this
Reposted by chris-mas elf
A little mindfulness pit stop
December 10, 2025 at 3:16 PM
A little mindfulness pit stop
Reposted by chris-mas elf
on the 12th day of Christmas my true love had a manic episode and gave to me 184 birds
We agree that the gifts are given cumulatively, right? Such that the speaker gets a new partridge twelve days in a row? If so, the math quickly snowballs into financial ruin.
That's 364 gifts in total, netting out to about $180,000.
That's 364 gifts in total, netting out to about $180,000.
December 10, 2025 at 2:01 PM
on the 12th day of Christmas my true love had a manic episode and gave to me 184 birds
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Baby awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwter.
December 10, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Baby awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwter.
Reposted by chris-mas elf
December 10, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Ken Campbell's birthday. I once watched a documentary he made about quantum physics where he described the origin of the universe like this: "For a very long time, there was nothing. Then, suddenly - something went wrong with the nothing."
December 10, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Ken Campbell's birthday. I once watched a documentary he made about quantum physics where he described the origin of the universe like this: "For a very long time, there was nothing. Then, suddenly - something went wrong with the nothing."
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Reposted by chris-mas elf
fat bear week is good, but don't forget about borb season
December 10, 2025 at 5:46 AM
fat bear week is good, but don't forget about borb season
Reposted by chris-mas elf
An extremely short horror story I wrote, set in the future.
December 8, 2025 at 8:08 PM
An extremely short horror story I wrote, set in the future.
Reposted by chris-mas elf
There’s not supposed to be any wolves inside you— stop eating so many wolves!
December 10, 2025 at 7:02 AM
There’s not supposed to be any wolves inside you— stop eating so many wolves!
🧵
Ok who wants a bizarre no stakes mystery to solve?
I had to go to the hospital by ambulance this morning (heart stuff, am ok now.)
A bunch of ambulance guys came into our living room to get me.
And now we
keep
finding
tiny
glass
ducks
On the floor.
I had to go to the hospital by ambulance this morning (heart stuff, am ok now.)
A bunch of ambulance guys came into our living room to get me.
And now we
keep
finding
tiny
glass
ducks
On the floor.
December 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
🧵
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Ok who wants a bizarre no stakes mystery to solve?
I had to go to the hospital by ambulance this morning (heart stuff, am ok now.)
A bunch of ambulance guys came into our living room to get me.
And now we
keep
finding
tiny
glass
ducks
On the floor.
I had to go to the hospital by ambulance this morning (heart stuff, am ok now.)
A bunch of ambulance guys came into our living room to get me.
And now we
keep
finding
tiny
glass
ducks
On the floor.
December 10, 2025 at 4:54 AM
Ok who wants a bizarre no stakes mystery to solve?
I had to go to the hospital by ambulance this morning (heart stuff, am ok now.)
A bunch of ambulance guys came into our living room to get me.
And now we
keep
finding
tiny
glass
ducks
On the floor.
I had to go to the hospital by ambulance this morning (heart stuff, am ok now.)
A bunch of ambulance guys came into our living room to get me.
And now we
keep
finding
tiny
glass
ducks
On the floor.
Reposted by chris-mas elf
“I am so bored by AI. One of the things I love about the theatre is AI can’t do it.”
Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻
Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻
December 9, 2025 at 8:36 PM
“I am so bored by AI. One of the things I love about the theatre is AI can’t do it.”
Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻
Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻
Reposted by chris-mas elf
“Hardly anyone does this well on cognitive tests” yeah bro they only give them to people with dementia
December 10, 2025 at 4:50 AM
“Hardly anyone does this well on cognitive tests” yeah bro they only give them to people with dementia
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Dr. Seward, you dim bulb, you blithering idiot. Do not give Renfield a cat.
December 9, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Dr. Seward, you dim bulb, you blithering idiot. Do not give Renfield a cat.
Reposted by chris-mas elf
The fuck is a jingle horse
December 8, 2025 at 5:59 PM
The fuck is a jingle horse
Reposted by chris-mas elf
My neurodivergent headcanon for the 60’s Batman series is that Bruce Wayne’s parents hired a troupe of eccentrics on retainer to keep him entertained, in the untimely event of their death.
February 11, 2024 at 3:05 AM
My neurodivergent headcanon for the 60’s Batman series is that Bruce Wayne’s parents hired a troupe of eccentrics on retainer to keep him entertained, in the untimely event of their death.
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Becoming a billionaire gives you the brain of a dog but without a dog's heart.
December 9, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Becoming a billionaire gives you the brain of a dog but without a dog's heart.
Reposted by chris-mas elf
I'd rather be silly
December 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I'd rather be silly
Reposted by chris-mas elf
“what’s stopping you from-“ listen, I am so so sleepy
December 9, 2025 at 4:16 PM
“what’s stopping you from-“ listen, I am so so sleepy
Reposted by chris-mas elf
we don’t want robots to help the police, we want robots to give us uppies from the couch to our bed when we’re sleepy
December 9, 2025 at 11:31 PM
we don’t want robots to help the police, we want robots to give us uppies from the couch to our bed when we’re sleepy
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Every meaning of Hamster Ball is adorable or at least interesting
December 9, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Every meaning of Hamster Ball is adorable or at least interesting
Reposted by chris-mas elf
Came up in my fb memories, had to share some gold from the comments
June 27, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Came up in my fb memories, had to share some gold from the comments