amy brown
@amybrown.xyz
🌎 sf bay via ohio
🔗 amybrown.xyz
🐶 benny
🔗 amybrown.xyz
🐶 benny
Pinned
amy brown
@amybrown.xyz
· 3d
you have reached the Wendy's Twitter lady
amybrown.xyz
periodic lore dump for the newbies
Reposted by amy brown
You might have heard that "the best revenge is a life well lived." But that's because your school was underfunded and you had old textbooks from before scientists invented the Revengerator.
January 20, 2026 at 4:21 AM
You might have heard that "the best revenge is a life well lived." But that's because your school was underfunded and you had old textbooks from before scientists invented the Revengerator.
Reposted by amy brown
I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place
January 20, 2026 at 1:57 AM
I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place
Reposted by amy brown
did you know a Chilean Flamingo mysteriously appeared in Hayward in the 80s and nobody is sure how they got there? did you know that this same bird is still alive today and hangs out in the salt ponds?
well, now you do
well, now you do
January 20, 2026 at 1:46 AM
did you know a Chilean Flamingo mysteriously appeared in Hayward in the 80s and nobody is sure how they got there? did you know that this same bird is still alive today and hangs out in the salt ponds?
well, now you do
well, now you do
Reposted by amy brown
damn this guy been hoisted by his own petard, a saying that i made up btw
January 20, 2026 at 12:31 AM
damn this guy been hoisted by his own petard, a saying that i made up btw
bruh
Now he's claiming to have invented "I read the rest of the poem" saying.
January 20, 2026 at 12:24 AM
bruh
Reposted by amy brown
complaining about engagement is so funny because like. post better
January 20, 2026 at 12:16 AM
complaining about engagement is so funny because like. post better
Reposted by amy brown
who the fuck WANTS their posts to go viral, have you ever had that actually happen? it's like getting a winning pull on a slot machine if wasps started pouring out the bottom instead of quarters
January 19, 2026 at 11:48 PM
who the fuck WANTS their posts to go viral, have you ever had that actually happen? it's like getting a winning pull on a slot machine if wasps started pouring out the bottom instead of quarters
Reposted by amy brown
*frantically googling*
moral arc bent wrong how to fix
wikihow diy moral arc fix
moral arc technician near me
moral arc bent wrong how to fix
wikihow diy moral arc fix
moral arc technician near me
Who up bending they arc toward justice
January 19, 2026 at 8:38 PM
*frantically googling*
moral arc bent wrong how to fix
wikihow diy moral arc fix
moral arc technician near me
moral arc bent wrong how to fix
wikihow diy moral arc fix
moral arc technician near me
oh shit. the description for the latest episode of 9-1-1 is "a new AI call center assistant creates complications" let's goooo
January 19, 2026 at 11:06 PM
oh shit. the description for the latest episode of 9-1-1 is "a new AI call center assistant creates complications" let's goooo
Reposted by amy brown
jack asked if i would sketch up a poster to tell people in nearby neighborhoods about the partnership between flock and ring, and this is what i came up with. it can be printed on an 8.5x11 sheet of paper.
![YOUR RING CAMERA IS AN ICE AGENT
[a drawing of a ring camera with an ice agent dragging a person away in its field of vision]
"In October of 2025, Amazon's Ring announced its partnership with FLOCK, an A.I. surveillance group that freely shares its footage with ICE, the secret service, and the navy. Flock customers can use A.I. tools to sift through footage to assist in all manner of operations (like raids and deportations) without a warrant. Unplug Ring! Melt ICE! Protect your neighbors!
See: https://blog.ring.com/about-ring/ring-expands-community-requests-to-additional-community-safety-partners/
https://www.404media.co/ice-secret-service-navy-all-had-access-to-flocks-nationwide-network-of-cameras/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp9MwZkHiMQ
https://www.aclum.org/campaigns-initiatives/get-the-flock-out-resource-guide/](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:p2aefnvhb3zmkrazk67dppxw/bafkreic7teyeocg7k5qcqxnc666k7clyiislh2zfi6iopcz6fs3e3lt6xy@jpeg)
January 19, 2026 at 8:15 PM
jack asked if i would sketch up a poster to tell people in nearby neighborhoods about the partnership between flock and ring, and this is what i came up with. it can be printed on an 8.5x11 sheet of paper.
Reposted by amy brown
listen up, kids
January 19, 2026 at 8:49 PM
listen up, kids
Reposted by amy brown
you wouldn’t freeze a baby. so why would you freeze the rent
imagine if you took all the city's meat and put it in a freezer
January 19, 2026 at 8:33 PM
you wouldn’t freeze a baby. so why would you freeze the rent
4 year old got his first real haircut today and he looks very handsome and Very Big
January 19, 2026 at 8:31 PM
4 year old got his first real haircut today and he looks very handsome and Very Big
in 2017 I got a rental car stuck in sand outside joshua tree and the first person to pull over to help me was very sketchy. then a second dude pulled up to help and when the first guy went back to his truck to get a shovel he said “I’m not gonna leave you alone with that guy”
TIMELINE CLEANSE
When's a time that a stranger helped you in an unexpected, maybe even small way?
When's a time that a stranger helped you in an unexpected, maybe even small way?
January 19, 2026 at 7:41 PM
in 2017 I got a rental car stuck in sand outside joshua tree and the first person to pull over to help me was very sketchy. then a second dude pulled up to help and when the first guy went back to his truck to get a shovel he said “I’m not gonna leave you alone with that guy”
made a little vegan salad for myself for lunch today and thought finally, I can eat in peace, nobody else will want this. WRONG! the baby has eaten all my lentils and is now chanting “more dots”
January 19, 2026 at 7:08 PM
made a little vegan salad for myself for lunch today and thought finally, I can eat in peace, nobody else will want this. WRONG! the baby has eaten all my lentils and is now chanting “more dots”
Reposted by amy brown
i always lose my shit when i remember "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" comes from a tumblr post about mushrooms
Speak, muses — tell me about a sentence or phrase that you read in someone's ephemeral post on a long-dead online forum but has lived rent-free in your head ever since
January 19, 2026 at 6:35 PM
i always lose my shit when i remember "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" comes from a tumblr post about mushrooms
Reposted by amy brown
Last night, I asked the kids what they did on the train and #2 said he "played a game with grandma called... whorebitch?" and I said what and he said corebitch? And I said what and #1 said cribbage? And #2 said yeah cribitz.
January 19, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Last night, I asked the kids what they did on the train and #2 said he "played a game with grandma called... whorebitch?" and I said what and he said corebitch? And I said what and #1 said cribbage? And #2 said yeah cribitz.
husband: “you can’t have jello for breakfast”
4 year old: “this isn’t jello. it’s pudding”
husband: “ok but—“
4 year old: “jello is just the name of the company”
husband: “ok. but you can’t have it for breakfast”
4 year old: “ok. it’s still not jello”
4 year old: “this isn’t jello. it’s pudding”
husband: “ok but—“
4 year old: “jello is just the name of the company”
husband: “ok. but you can’t have it for breakfast”
4 year old: “ok. it’s still not jello”
January 19, 2026 at 3:16 PM
husband: “you can’t have jello for breakfast”
4 year old: “this isn’t jello. it’s pudding”
husband: “ok but—“
4 year old: “jello is just the name of the company”
husband: “ok. but you can’t have it for breakfast”
4 year old: “ok. it’s still not jello”
4 year old: “this isn’t jello. it’s pudding”
husband: “ok but—“
4 year old: “jello is just the name of the company”
husband: “ok. but you can’t have it for breakfast”
4 year old: “ok. it’s still not jello”
Reposted by amy brown
4 year old got out the box of dominoes and said “i’m into a relaxing game tonight.” then when he got bored he said “i’m not really in a gaming mood”
January 19, 2026 at 2:31 AM
4 year old got out the box of dominoes and said “i’m into a relaxing game tonight.” then when he got bored he said “i’m not really in a gaming mood”
Reposted by amy brown
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Roger Sterling's response to MLK's assassination on MAD MEN sorta sums up the entire series, and acts as a grim reminder of where we still are in America
Roger Sterling's response to MLK's assassination on MAD MEN sorta sums up the entire series, and acts as a grim reminder of where we still are in America
January 19, 2026 at 1:21 PM
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Roger Sterling's response to MLK's assassination on MAD MEN sorta sums up the entire series, and acts as a grim reminder of where we still are in America
Roger Sterling's response to MLK's assassination on MAD MEN sorta sums up the entire series, and acts as a grim reminder of where we still are in America
4 year old got out the box of dominoes and said “i’m into a relaxing game tonight.” then when he got bored he said “i’m not really in a gaming mood”
January 19, 2026 at 2:31 AM
4 year old got out the box of dominoes and said “i’m into a relaxing game tonight.” then when he got bored he said “i’m not really in a gaming mood”