Demian Thule
@demianthule.bsky.social
Used to be funny cca. 2014
Pinned
Demian Thule
@demianthule.bsky.social
· Dec 6
I like my girls like I like my life challenges. Easy
Reposted by Demian Thule
Caturday hasn't changed in 500 years
November 22, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Caturday hasn't changed in 500 years
Reposted by Demian Thule
Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
September 20, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
Reposted by Demian Thule
I hope my made up words don't make you.....discomfortable
November 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
I hope my made up words don't make you.....discomfortable
Reposted by Demian Thule
Wait did I just describe death
They should invent a sleep that is uninterrupted and fulfilling
November 20, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Wait did I just describe death
Reposted by Demian Thule
Art teacher: I think you've misunderstood. It's the models who will be nude.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Me: Well this is awkward.
November 5, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Art teacher: I think you've misunderstood. It's the models who will be nude.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Reposted by Demian Thule
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
November 12, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Reposted by Demian Thule
It’s not box wine, it’s cardboardeaux.
January 28, 2025 at 7:43 PM
It’s not box wine, it’s cardboardeaux.
Reposted by Demian Thule
At my age, It’s only a friend with benefits if they’re a chiropractor.
November 21, 2025 at 5:26 AM
At my age, It’s only a friend with benefits if they’re a chiropractor.
Reposted by Demian Thule
[My first day as a detective]
Me: It's one way glass he can't see you. Just point at the killer.
Witness: All I can see is our reflection.
Me: Ah, ok. Everybody swap rooms.
Me: It's one way glass he can't see you. Just point at the killer.
Witness: All I can see is our reflection.
Me: Ah, ok. Everybody swap rooms.
October 4, 2025 at 8:26 PM
[My first day as a detective]
Me: It's one way glass he can't see you. Just point at the killer.
Witness: All I can see is our reflection.
Me: Ah, ok. Everybody swap rooms.
Me: It's one way glass he can't see you. Just point at the killer.
Witness: All I can see is our reflection.
Me: Ah, ok. Everybody swap rooms.
Reposted by Demian Thule
Hollywood was better when execs were just doing a lot of cocaine and greenlighting everything that sounded cool
November 20, 2025 at 9:14 AM
Hollywood was better when execs were just doing a lot of cocaine and greenlighting everything that sounded cool
Reposted by Demian Thule
HER: Are you free Friday night?
ME: Let me check my colander.
HER: Your...
ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
ME: Let me check my colander.
HER: Your...
ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
January 14, 2024 at 11:44 PM
HER: Are you free Friday night?
ME: Let me check my colander.
HER: Your...
ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
ME: Let me check my colander.
HER: Your...
ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
Reposted by Demian Thule
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
November 13, 2025 at 11:45 PM
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Reposted by Demian Thule
I’m tired of giving friendly advice. I’m going to start offering violent alternatives
December 2, 2023 at 11:21 PM
I’m tired of giving friendly advice. I’m going to start offering violent alternatives
Reposted by Demian Thule
I let the bodies hit the floor. There’s blood everywhere. What a mess.
November 18, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I let the bodies hit the floor. There’s blood everywhere. What a mess.
AI may eradicate humanity, and there may not be a way to stop that. But we MUST find a way to make it love cats and doggos.
November 21, 2025 at 7:04 AM
AI may eradicate humanity, and there may not be a way to stop that. But we MUST find a way to make it love cats and doggos.
Reposted by Demian Thule
I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
October 11, 2024 at 7:22 PM
I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
Reposted by Demian Thule
wife: will you taste this dressing i made and tell me if it needs anything
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
November 20, 2025 at 12:25 AM
wife: will you taste this dressing i made and tell me if it needs anything
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
Reposted by Demian Thule
This holiday, I'm specifically requesting to sit at the kids table.
Do I wanna discuss the Middle East with my boomer uncles-in-law, or do I wanna discuss Fortnite with my tiny nephew? No-brainer.
Do I wanna discuss the Middle East with my boomer uncles-in-law, or do I wanna discuss Fortnite with my tiny nephew? No-brainer.
November 20, 2025 at 12:16 AM
This holiday, I'm specifically requesting to sit at the kids table.
Do I wanna discuss the Middle East with my boomer uncles-in-law, or do I wanna discuss Fortnite with my tiny nephew? No-brainer.
Do I wanna discuss the Middle East with my boomer uncles-in-law, or do I wanna discuss Fortnite with my tiny nephew? No-brainer.
Reposted by Demian Thule
Our ancestors were among the town’s earliest settlers. Great-great-great-grandfather looked out over the rolling hills and said, “Meh, good enough.” We’ve been settling ever since.
November 19, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Our ancestors were among the town’s earliest settlers. Great-great-great-grandfather looked out over the rolling hills and said, “Meh, good enough.” We’ve been settling ever since.
Reposted by Demian Thule
Pardon me while I slip into something a little more comfortable, (an alternate timeline)
November 20, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Pardon me while I slip into something a little more comfortable, (an alternate timeline)
Reposted by Demian Thule
i thought a labubu was a vagina injury
September 11, 2025 at 12:00 PM
i thought a labubu was a vagina injury
Reposted by Demian Thule
ask not for whom the butt holes it holes for thee
November 19, 2025 at 7:31 PM
ask not for whom the butt holes it holes for thee
Reposted by Demian Thule
“Men only want one thing.”
Not true. There’s like three things.
Not true. There’s like three things.
November 19, 2025 at 1:39 AM
“Men only want one thing.”
Not true. There’s like three things.
Not true. There’s like three things.
Reposted by Demian Thule
Kid: Is this a parrot?
Me: no
Kid: but it sais what I say
Me: It's an old tape recorder
Kid: What does it eat?
Me: Cassettes
Me: no
Kid: but it sais what I say
Me: It's an old tape recorder
Kid: What does it eat?
Me: Cassettes
November 15, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Kid: Is this a parrot?
Me: no
Kid: but it sais what I say
Me: It's an old tape recorder
Kid: What does it eat?
Me: Cassettes
Me: no
Kid: but it sais what I say
Me: It's an old tape recorder
Kid: What does it eat?
Me: Cassettes
Reposted by Demian Thule
being an unpopular shitposter is just saying "come on, that one was a good one" to yourself until you are dead
November 17, 2025 at 9:49 PM
being an unpopular shitposter is just saying "come on, that one was a good one" to yourself until you are dead