Jerry
@allhailjerry.myatproto.social
Headache.
Big Boss Human: @riversidecasino.bsky.social
Contributor:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
@cloverkisscinema.bsky.social
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/allhailjerry.bsky.social/feed/aaafaaongqdyc
Big Boss Human: @riversidecasino.bsky.social
Contributor:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
@cloverkisscinema.bsky.social
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/allhailjerry.bsky.social/feed/aaafaaongqdyc
Pinned
Jerry
@allhailjerry.myatproto.social
· Nov 11
Screaming for ice cream does not work.
Reposted by Jerry
Contrary to popular belief, shouting "I'm a scientist" doesn't make you right or a scientist. It is pretty funny though
October 16, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Contrary to popular belief, shouting "I'm a scientist" doesn't make you right or a scientist. It is pretty funny though
This is really all I want from life.
November 11, 2025 at 1:51 AM
This is really all I want from life.
Reposted by Jerry
If I'm gonna pay this much for insurance, something terrible better happen to me or I'm gonna be furious.
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 PM
If I'm gonna pay this much for insurance, something terrible better happen to me or I'm gonna be furious.
Just wrote the last line of my Nanowrimo novel:
"Nothing else can go wrong," he said to himself, the girl at his side, a full tank of gas in their Ford Pinto.
"Nothing else can go wrong," he said to himself, the girl at his side, a full tank of gas in their Ford Pinto.
November 10, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Just wrote the last line of my Nanowrimo novel:
"Nothing else can go wrong," he said to himself, the girl at his side, a full tank of gas in their Ford Pinto.
"Nothing else can go wrong," he said to himself, the girl at his side, a full tank of gas in their Ford Pinto.
Reposted by Jerry
People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
November 10, 2025 at 3:24 PM
People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
Reposted by Jerry
democrats winning would cut into their fundraising
November 10, 2025 at 1:02 AM
democrats winning would cut into their fundraising
Reposted by Jerry
Democratic Senators just absolutely tanking on purpose in hopes of getting better picks in the expansion draft when we get new states
November 10, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Democratic Senators just absolutely tanking on purpose in hopes of getting better picks in the expansion draft when we get new states
Reposted by Jerry
(listening to song) if I was bad company, you wouldn’t hear me bragging about it
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 PM
(listening to song) if I was bad company, you wouldn’t hear me bragging about it
Reposted by Jerry
Every scar tells a story. I call this one, The Tale of The Loose Porch Step.
November 9, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Every scar tells a story. I call this one, The Tale of The Loose Porch Step.
Reposted by Jerry
asking the cop who pulled me over for going 109 in a 65 where we’re at in the dialectic
November 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
asking the cop who pulled me over for going 109 in a 65 where we’re at in the dialectic
Reposted by Jerry
Tom Brady cloned his dog instead of rescuing one. Now I like him even less.
My column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
My column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
Tom Brady cloned his dog instead of rescuing one. Now I like him even less. | Opinion
Former NFL quarterback Tom Brady had his dog cloned via a company he has invested in, Colossal Biosciences. My rescue dog is none too pleased.
www.usatoday.com
November 9, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Tom Brady cloned his dog instead of rescuing one. Now I like him even less.
My column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
My column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
Reposted by Jerry
“I want you to understand what it is like to live in Chicago during this time.”
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
November 9, 2025 at 5:26 PM
“I want you to understand what it is like to live in Chicago during this time.”
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
My suburban childhood was a lot like what you saw in ET, except we didn't have to eat shit candy.
November 9, 2025 at 5:30 PM
My suburban childhood was a lot like what you saw in ET, except we didn't have to eat shit candy.
Reposted by Jerry
I just used my grandfather’s bench chisel to open a paint can. Anything goes. I sang a Sting song one octave down. Anything goes
November 8, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I just used my grandfather’s bench chisel to open a paint can. Anything goes. I sang a Sting song one octave down. Anything goes
Reposted by Jerry
[looking back on a long and fruitful career in tech] holy shit that sucked
November 7, 2025 at 1:52 PM
[looking back on a long and fruitful career in tech] holy shit that sucked
Reposted by Jerry
why is there a nuclear bomb noise every time something goes wrong in my life? who is making the sound
November 8, 2025 at 10:39 PM
why is there a nuclear bomb noise every time something goes wrong in my life? who is making the sound
Remember when we didn't scan the obituaries page with so much hope?
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Remember when we didn't scan the obituaries page with so much hope?
Reposted by Jerry
*grabs you by the lapel*
wtf is a lapel????
wtf is a lapel????
November 7, 2025 at 11:49 PM
*grabs you by the lapel*
wtf is a lapel????
wtf is a lapel????
Reposted by Jerry
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
November 8, 2025 at 2:39 AM
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
Reposted by Jerry
i’m doing balloon animals for the party tonight hope everyone likes worms
November 8, 2025 at 12:16 AM
i’m doing balloon animals for the party tonight hope everyone likes worms
Reposted by Jerry
If a woman makes intense eye contact as she places her empty cup under the Keurig but no man notices, does she even really need coffee? Probably not. There's gotta be another reason for her to be stabbing you like that.
November 8, 2025 at 2:34 PM
If a woman makes intense eye contact as she places her empty cup under the Keurig but no man notices, does she even really need coffee? Probably not. There's gotta be another reason for her to be stabbing you like that.
Reposted by Jerry
ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to circle the block for parking
November 8, 2025 at 6:17 PM
ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to circle the block for parking
Reposted by Jerry
When you put pizza on a bagel you can do other more difficult things presumably
November 8, 2025 at 2:05 AM
When you put pizza on a bagel you can do other more difficult things presumably
Reposted by Jerry
A joke I dont understand has 2k likes: a manifesto
November 8, 2025 at 2:32 PM
A joke I dont understand has 2k likes: a manifesto
Reposted by Jerry
If you're a TV reporter covering a shooting or stabbing at the Pine View Motel across the street, we'll throw you $50 to stand so our sign is in the shot.
November 7, 2025 at 2:06 AM
If you're a TV reporter covering a shooting or stabbing at the Pine View Motel across the street, we'll throw you $50 to stand so our sign is in the shot.