Craig Almond
@alarmingcod.co.uk
By day: Charity sector CRM wrangler.
By night: Watcher of Crap TV
At weekends: Rambler, BogHopper, HillBotherer, Ultra-dilettante.
Lover of the Lakes, stuck in MCR.
Generic Reply Guy account.
By night: Watcher of Crap TV
At weekends: Rambler, BogHopper, HillBotherer, Ultra-dilettante.
Lover of the Lakes, stuck in MCR.
Generic Reply Guy account.
Reposted by Craig Almond
Accidentally just sneezed on my toast. I can't believe it, snot butter.
November 10, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Accidentally just sneezed on my toast. I can't believe it, snot butter.
Reposted by Craig Almond
I can draw this cartoon for you, using as few lines as possible.
www.worldofmoose.com/products/min...
www.worldofmoose.com/products/min...
November 10, 2025 at 5:11 PM
I can draw this cartoon for you, using as few lines as possible.
www.worldofmoose.com/products/min...
www.worldofmoose.com/products/min...
Reposted by Craig Almond
Except Barry.
November 1, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Except Barry.
Stage 2 Hypertension and incoming medication.
Your fifties, the decade that keeps on giving.
Your fifties, the decade that keeps on giving.
November 8, 2025 at 10:59 AM
Stage 2 Hypertension and incoming medication.
Your fifties, the decade that keeps on giving.
Your fifties, the decade that keeps on giving.
Gonna have to organise a stakeholder meeting to test this out.
There’s a work exercise where to inform what we want to do next we have 3 stickers to put on the suggestions. By going first and adding two stickers to one of the suggestions almost always guarantees people will follow the heat maps to avoid “wasting” their votes.
November 8, 2025 at 10:17 AM
Gonna have to organise a stakeholder meeting to test this out.
Reposted by Craig Almond
Lower the maximum wage.
November 8, 2025 at 7:56 AM
Lower the maximum wage.
Reposted by Craig Almond
They really have aged a lot between seasons 1 and 5
November 5, 2025 at 8:52 AM
They really have aged a lot between seasons 1 and 5
Reposted by Craig Almond
"free as in markets, not as in beer"
November 1, 2025 at 6:32 PM
"free as in markets, not as in beer"
Reposted by Craig Almond
You should lose your licence after 6 points, rather than the current 12. You should also have to take your test again to get it back after the ban ends. We've got too many shit drivers on the roads, this might go some way to getting rid of them.
October 31, 2025 at 8:55 AM
You should lose your licence after 6 points, rather than the current 12. You should also have to take your test again to get it back after the ban ends. We've got too many shit drivers on the roads, this might go some way to getting rid of them.
Reposted by Craig Almond
🎶 well ah wud wauk five hundred miles
An' ah wud wauk five hundred mair
Jes' tae be the mighty man who looked upon yer works and then despairt
Ozymandias!
Ozymandias!
Ozyman-diddle-an-diddle-an-diddle-andias!
An' ah wud wauk five hundred mair
Jes' tae be the mighty man who looked upon yer works and then despairt
Ozymandias!
Ozymandias!
Ozyman-diddle-an-diddle-an-diddle-andias!
October 31, 2025 at 6:24 PM
🎶 well ah wud wauk five hundred miles
An' ah wud wauk five hundred mair
Jes' tae be the mighty man who looked upon yer works and then despairt
Ozymandias!
Ozymandias!
Ozyman-diddle-an-diddle-an-diddle-andias!
An' ah wud wauk five hundred mair
Jes' tae be the mighty man who looked upon yer works and then despairt
Ozymandias!
Ozymandias!
Ozyman-diddle-an-diddle-an-diddle-andias!
Reposted by Craig Almond
Just threw a ghost boomerang. That’s gonna come back to haunt me.
October 31, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Just threw a ghost boomerang. That’s gonna come back to haunt me.
Reposted by Craig Almond
Andrew is a sort of non-prince now, a… well, I’m sure there’s some sort of portmanteau word that would describe him well.
October 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Andrew is a sort of non-prince now, a… well, I’m sure there’s some sort of portmanteau word that would describe him well.
Reposted by Craig Almond
"Not all of the people in this bog roll advert are white" is such a Luxury thing to have brainspace to worry about. Orange juice is £1.80 a carton, Susan! The rivers are still all full of shit! A 2 bed flat is half a million quid!
October 27, 2025 at 4:48 PM
"Not all of the people in this bog roll advert are white" is such a Luxury thing to have brainspace to worry about. Orange juice is £1.80 a carton, Susan! The rivers are still all full of shit! A 2 bed flat is half a million quid!
Reposted by Craig Almond
You should be able to call in can't be arsed at work. Get that legislated x
October 27, 2025 at 11:12 AM
You should be able to call in can't be arsed at work. Get that legislated x
Reposted by Craig Almond
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families
October 27, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families
Reposted by Craig Almond
Yay. Priceless. The right column at the right time. And a gleefully English two fingers to the haters.
October 25, 2025 at 7:38 AM
Yay. Priceless. The right column at the right time. And a gleefully English two fingers to the haters.
Reposted by Craig Almond
The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast'
10/10 response, no notes
10/10 response, no notes
October 24, 2025 at 8:27 AM
The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast'
10/10 response, no notes
10/10 response, no notes
Exploring the rainforests of Borrowdale.
I'm lichen it.
I'm lichen it.
October 24, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Exploring the rainforests of Borrowdale.
I'm lichen it.
I'm lichen it.
Reposted by Craig Almond
Oh no, someone’s torn the cover off my dictionary. And they’ve ripped all the pages out of either end.. It just goes from bad to worse!
October 22, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Oh no, someone’s torn the cover off my dictionary. And they’ve ripped all the pages out of either end.. It just goes from bad to worse!
Reposted by Craig Almond
October 19, 2025 at 10:10 AM
Reposted by Craig Almond
My baby had a severe allergic reaction to playing peekaboo. I had to take her to the ICU.
October 17, 2025 at 6:54 PM
My baby had a severe allergic reaction to playing peekaboo. I had to take her to the ICU.
Reposted by Craig Almond
Why are there so many undiagnosed adults who are only now discovering they're autistic or otherwise neurodivergent?
I have an explanation...
I have an explanation...
October 18, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Why are there so many undiagnosed adults who are only now discovering they're autistic or otherwise neurodivergent?
I have an explanation...
I have an explanation...
Reposted by Craig Almond
Just a reminder... 💚🖤✨️
October 17, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Just a reminder... 💚🖤✨️
Reposted by Craig Almond
You can’t call him Prince Andrew anymore. Because of Woking.
October 17, 2025 at 6:35 PM
You can’t call him Prince Andrew anymore. Because of Woking.
Reposted by Craig Almond
I mean, I'm no football expert but wouldn't the Aston Villa and Tel Aviv brouhaha be simpler to sort out if they just banned football?
Makes you think.
Makes you think.
October 17, 2025 at 10:30 AM
I mean, I'm no football expert but wouldn't the Aston Villa and Tel Aviv brouhaha be simpler to sort out if they just banned football?
Makes you think.
Makes you think.