Bethany Black
@bethanyblack.bsky.social
Your favourite comedian’s least favourite comedian. Buy my live stand-up special at www.gofasterstripe.com/bet
Pinned
Another reminder: I have it set so people I don’t follow can’t reply for a very good reason right now. I’m in autistic burnout and interactions are very difficult for me. Anyone circumventing that because they really feel I need to read their opinion on something I posted will be blocked immediately
Reposted by Bethany Black
In the last ten minutes, I have seen three mentions of the AI tool that will play computer games for you, and they all make the same joke that it will also fuck your wife. Because everyone who plays computer games has a wife.
January 6, 2026 at 4:07 PM
In the last ten minutes, I have seen three mentions of the AI tool that will play computer games for you, and they all make the same joke that it will also fuck your wife. Because everyone who plays computer games has a wife.
If you’re looking for a new broadband supplier I can highly recommend youfibre. We’ve been with them since we moved to this house and for £31.99 per month we’ve had excellent service 900Mbps broadband. If you sign up using this link we both get £25-£100 that’s basically free internet for a bit
Recommend Youfibre, Refer Friends, Receive Cashback
Recommend Youfibre or receive cashback. Get rewards for your purchase.
aklam.io
January 6, 2026 at 1:44 PM
If you’re looking for a new broadband supplier I can highly recommend youfibre. We’ve been with them since we moved to this house and for £31.99 per month we’ve had excellent service 900Mbps broadband. If you sign up using this link we both get £25-£100 that’s basically free internet for a bit
Tell you how cold it is here, if you chuck a glass of warm water onto the pavement it’ll freeze in 2-3 business days
January 6, 2026 at 1:38 PM
Tell you how cold it is here, if you chuck a glass of warm water onto the pavement it’ll freeze in 2-3 business days
Off to my sleep clinic appointment for my chronic insomnia. At least I didn’t sleep through it like last time.
January 6, 2026 at 11:30 AM
Off to my sleep clinic appointment for my chronic insomnia. At least I didn’t sleep through it like last time.
Reposted by Bethany Black
"but we source most of our news from here and-" source it somewhere else then. must thou harvest thy news from ye olde nonce shoppe of horrors my good sir?
January 6, 2026 at 11:20 AM
"but we source most of our news from here and-" source it somewhere else then. must thou harvest thy news from ye olde nonce shoppe of horrors my good sir?
Reposted by Bethany Black
there are *so many* big number accounts on twitter saying "we can't leave, we built a community here and-" sorry pal, you're anchoring smaller accounts to a site which could deposit illegal imagery directly into their timeline. the only sensible move is to tell them to leave, and you with it
January 6, 2026 at 11:18 AM
there are *so many* big number accounts on twitter saying "we can't leave, we built a community here and-" sorry pal, you're anchoring smaller accounts to a site which could deposit illegal imagery directly into their timeline. the only sensible move is to tell them to leave, and you with it
Grateful to the Death Becomes Her Musical, because at least 3 times per week when I’m struggling, I look myself in the eye in the mirror and say “you’re Ernest Menville damnit, surgeon to the stars, you gave Cher the cheeks she has today!” And that sorts me out
January 6, 2026 at 11:20 AM
Grateful to the Death Becomes Her Musical, because at least 3 times per week when I’m struggling, I look myself in the eye in the mirror and say “you’re Ernest Menville damnit, surgeon to the stars, you gave Cher the cheeks she has today!” And that sorts me out
Let’s just hope She’s invested her book money in Tesla stock
January 6, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Let’s just hope She’s invested her book money in Tesla stock
Here’s a little good news to brighten this dreary day, looks like Harry Potter and The Cursed Child will be closing this Autumn, both on the West End *and* Broadway.
January 6, 2026 at 11:01 AM
Here’s a little good news to brighten this dreary day, looks like Harry Potter and The Cursed Child will be closing this Autumn, both on the West End *and* Broadway.
Seen people talking about trying ti overcome depression by engaging with the hobbies they had as a child, but mine were Wrestling, video games, comic books and musical theatre, and I’m one of the most depressed people on the planet.
January 6, 2026 at 8:49 AM
Seen people talking about trying ti overcome depression by engaging with the hobbies they had as a child, but mine were Wrestling, video games, comic books and musical theatre, and I’m one of the most depressed people on the planet.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Wow holy fucking shit. As someone in recovery, this is a living nightmare even I didn't see coming. Very cool. These are death machines that sometimes make kiddie porn. Simple as.
“ChatGPT started coaching Sam on how to take drugs, recover from them and plan further binges. It gave him specific doses of illegal substances, and in one chat, it wrote, ‘Hell yes—let’s go full trippy mode’”
www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
A Calif. teen trusted ChatGPT for drug advice. He died from an overdose.
"Who on earth gives that advice?"
www.sfgate.com
January 5, 2026 at 10:35 PM
Wow holy fucking shit. As someone in recovery, this is a living nightmare even I didn't see coming. Very cool. These are death machines that sometimes make kiddie porn. Simple as.
The reason you think that the world is full of thick people is that mostly, smart people keep their mouths shut about shit they aren’t sure of.
January 5, 2026 at 8:07 PM
The reason you think that the world is full of thick people is that mostly, smart people keep their mouths shut about shit they aren’t sure of.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Did you know you can sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever you feel like it? It’s literally a whim away.
January 5, 2026 at 11:51 AM
Did you know you can sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever you feel like it? It’s literally a whim away.
The patent for Semaglutide has lapsed but only in Canada, so get ready for some off brand Canadian fat loss drugs like Ozempuck, and Wegovy-eh?
January 5, 2026 at 3:30 PM
The patent for Semaglutide has lapsed but only in Canada, so get ready for some off brand Canadian fat loss drugs like Ozempuck, and Wegovy-eh?
Reposted by Bethany Black
I had a baby shoes joke and I didn't post it because sometimes you have to stick to your fucking principles.
Love a good Pagliacci bit but if I ever see anyone do a baby shoes joke they get a block, I don't make the rules.
January 5, 2026 at 2:59 PM
I had a baby shoes joke and I didn't post it because sometimes you have to stick to your fucking principles.
Sorted this weekend’s problem, the timings didn’t work and one promoter was magnanimous enough to say “don’t worry, take it out. They have far more gigs than I do you don’t want to be in their bad books” which is the best possible outcome
January 5, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Sorted this weekend’s problem, the timings didn’t work and one promoter was magnanimous enough to say “don’t worry, take it out. They have far more gigs than I do you don’t want to be in their bad books” which is the best possible outcome
Wish I thrived on stress, rather than fear.
Like today, I’m back to work this weekend and have just found out the spots both clubs want me for means I might not be able to do both, and this isn’t uncommon but for some reason today this has spun me out
Like today, I’m back to work this weekend and have just found out the spots both clubs want me for means I might not be able to do both, and this isn’t uncommon but for some reason today this has spun me out
January 5, 2026 at 1:40 PM
Wish I thrived on stress, rather than fear.
Like today, I’m back to work this weekend and have just found out the spots both clubs want me for means I might not be able to do both, and this isn’t uncommon but for some reason today this has spun me out
Like today, I’m back to work this weekend and have just found out the spots both clubs want me for means I might not be able to do both, and this isn’t uncommon but for some reason today this has spun me out
Reposted by Bethany Black
We have concerns that you may have been denied your basic employment rights and you could therefore be owed a significant amount of money.
January 5, 2026 at 12:38 PM
We have concerns that you may have been denied your basic employment rights and you could therefore be owed a significant amount of money.
Reposted by Bethany Black
IMPORTANT NOTICE 📣
If you are an Equity member who was recently engaged as a performer or stage management on Squid Game: The Experience by Luna Cinema/Luna Entertainment, please contact Equity with a copy of your contract at pmpp@equity.org.uk
If you are an Equity member who was recently engaged as a performer or stage management on Squid Game: The Experience by Luna Cinema/Luna Entertainment, please contact Equity with a copy of your contract at pmpp@equity.org.uk
January 5, 2026 at 12:38 PM
IMPORTANT NOTICE 📣
If you are an Equity member who was recently engaged as a performer or stage management on Squid Game: The Experience by Luna Cinema/Luna Entertainment, please contact Equity with a copy of your contract at pmpp@equity.org.uk
If you are an Equity member who was recently engaged as a performer or stage management on Squid Game: The Experience by Luna Cinema/Luna Entertainment, please contact Equity with a copy of your contract at pmpp@equity.org.uk
Reposted by Bethany Black
Now I like a comedy panel show as much as the next person, but I'd love it if the people deciding who to book for them would be a bit more adventurous than the same dozen names each time.
January 5, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Now I like a comedy panel show as much as the next person, but I'd love it if the people deciding who to book for them would be a bit more adventurous than the same dozen names each time.
Did you know you can sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever you feel like it? It’s literally a whim away.
January 5, 2026 at 11:51 AM
Did you know you can sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever you feel like it? It’s literally a whim away.
Cold start this morning
January 5, 2026 at 10:53 AM
Cold start this morning
Got a GP appointment this morning so I’m telling the cats it’s like I’m going to the vets. They asked if I’m going in a big crate.
January 5, 2026 at 10:10 AM
Got a GP appointment this morning so I’m telling the cats it’s like I’m going to the vets. They asked if I’m going in a big crate.
Reposted by Bethany Black
don't be ridiculous
January 5, 2026 at 9:47 AM
don't be ridiculous
Reposted by Bethany Black
Just signed off an email 'Can't Regards'.
January 5, 2026 at 10:02 AM
Just signed off an email 'Can't Regards'.