Criag
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craigpsutton.bsky.social
Criag
@craigpsutton.bsky.social
Opinions are not my own. Send help!

Just tryna be a silly billy. I do stand-up, improv, sketch, and I'm a professional game designer.

My bangers feed:
https://tinyurl.com/nm3kyaav

My sketches here:
https://youtube.com/@teamlaundry?si=ZWIzuYFi5jM7V7_T
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Welcome to Craig's Bluesky page!

Estd. 2023

“Forever is composed of nows.”
Reposted by Criag
actually on bluesky we don’t call them drafts we call them precum
February 10, 2026 at 9:52 PM
I got slack brain. I just replied to a sext with a thumbs up.
February 10, 2026 at 7:37 PM
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one of the funniest things that happens on earth is when you meet your friend's brother and he looks like your friend if they sold your friend in canada
February 10, 2026 at 4:18 AM
Breaking: bipartisan bill passes that approves a new three-tier justice system
February 9, 2026 at 10:42 PM
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must consume content
February 9, 2026 at 8:57 AM
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What the world
Needs now
Is corn
Sweet corn
October 10, 2024 at 10:24 PM
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Sometimes I get so sad imagining that I never adopted my cat and that he'd never get to know a world where he could binge watch Frasier
February 9, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Sometimes I get so sad imagining that I never adopted my cat and that he'd never get to know a world where he could binge watch Frasier
February 9, 2026 at 6:37 AM
You wouldn't believe how many hours I work. If I got a nickel every hour I worked...
February 8, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Working full time drains me from doing my real passion of slacking off
February 8, 2026 at 7:11 PM
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I'm so lucky that not only is she my ex-wife, but she's my ex-best friend
January 2, 2026 at 5:51 AM
I'm a thought leader in the bad ideas industry
February 8, 2026 at 6:54 PM
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"I took a bunch of photos so you have options"

Cool thanks now I have 20 photos to delete where I wasn't ready.
January 25, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Manosphere. Scary if literal.
February 8, 2026 at 6:46 PM
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🔳 Pull rabbit out of hat
🔳 Saw woman in half
🔳 Escape straight jacket

— My Ta-Da List —
February 1, 2026 at 8:28 PM
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February 8, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Bro stop getting mad at headlines. At least read to the second paragraph.
February 8, 2026 at 1:40 AM
When I was growing up, "savory" meant meaty/buttery/hearty, but now everyone just uses "savory" as "salty". We already have a word for salty. And it's "salty"! What a downgrade for savory!
February 7, 2026 at 8:17 PM
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If I were JD Vance, I would change my name to Boo so I wouldn't feel sad
February 7, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Baby it's the freakin weekend gonna have me some laying in bed until I pee myself
February 7, 2026 at 4:39 PM
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angsty baby corn screaming "I DIDN'T ASK TO BE CORN!"
February 5, 2026 at 10:37 PM
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Before Mr and Mrs Potatohead tied the knot, they were cohabi-taters.
February 4, 2026 at 10:02 PM
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Brianne, showing off her magical girl transformation:
February 4, 2026 at 9:30 PM
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Recording some ASMR for my cat

ⁿᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ

ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵇⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ
January 29, 2026 at 7:22 AM
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The behavior of our big beautiful billionaires over the past several decades is psychologically what I can only describe as "Crying out for consequences." They can't stop themselves and deep down they need to be stopped. They need it as much as we do
February 4, 2026 at 5:01 PM