Criag
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craigpsutton.bsky.social
Criag
@craigpsutton.bsky.social
Opinions are not my own. Send help!

Just tryna be a silly billy. I do stand-up, improv, sketch, and I'm a professional game designer.

My bangers feed:
https://tinyurl.com/nm3kyaav

My sketches here:
https://youtube.com/@teamlaundry?si=ZWIzuYFi5jM7V7_T
Pinned
Welcome to Craig's Bluesky page!

Estd. 2023

“Forever is composed of nows.”
Reposted by Criag
Got arrested for punching a mime and the judge sentenced me to six months of community theater
November 11, 2025 at 5:49 AM
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Vote blue? No, matter who!
November 10, 2025 at 6:11 AM
oop! something just went extinct
November 11, 2025 at 6:02 AM
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Hamburger helps those that help themselves
November 9, 2025 at 10:28 PM
*their
November 10, 2025 at 8:35 PM
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tears are just eye piss
November 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
more like not so united states of america gotem
November 10, 2025 at 5:33 AM
“Thank you for using Google AI, would you like to kill 3 birds for us to draft an email for you?“
November 10, 2025 at 4:45 AM
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A newly engaged neighbor asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.
November 9, 2025 at 1:23 PM
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Getting braces is like getting circumcised. Your parents decide for you, it's for cosmetic reasons, and it's weird if you do it as an adult.
October 19, 2023 at 6:41 PM
You paid for the whole seat but you'll only need to watch it on the camera of the person in front of you!!
November 9, 2025 at 5:22 AM
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i'll repost this forever i'm so proud of it
November 8, 2025 at 12:36 AM
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ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to circle the block for parking
November 8, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Why does he insist on doing his own makeup still? Or does he tell the makeup artist to do it like that?
November 8, 2025 at 8:42 PM
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tapping my breakfast burrito to turn its screen on. eating my phone and checking my burrito messages 🌯
November 8, 2025 at 3:35 PM
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Aborted babies crawling around heaven like shrimp
November 8, 2025 at 1:13 AM
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the best evidence for the existence of an ineffable soul, each of us having a subjective experience linked to the physical body yet separate from it, is that billionaires clearly lack one, dead-eyed in darkness, begging the computer to love them, as if they would be able to feel if it did
November 8, 2025 at 5:19 PM
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Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
November 8, 2025 at 1:45 PM
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the answer, for crossword heads, is “where’s the beef”
@kcg.bsky.social today's nyt crossword
November 8, 2025 at 7:17 PM
"And finally, to my only child, I leave my apartment lease. It's a two year commitment, one month notice, first and last up front. It's as good as money inheritance because of the savings versus other apartments in the area. The landlord's slow to make repairs but you can tell he's a real guy."
November 8, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Life is effort and I'll stop when I die! 👑
November 8, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Thinking about getting into flossing
November 8, 2025 at 4:45 AM
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Are we there yet? #art #oilpainting
November 6, 2025 at 8:46 PM
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November 7, 2025 at 11:09 AM
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Right about now, the honk shoo brother
November 6, 2025 at 2:02 PM