TracieBreaux
@traciebreaux.bsky.social
Cajun, crawfish eater and ice road trucker. I'm still calling my posts tweets on here. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dzdcofxcag6e5hrz3moguzke/feed/aaacc7ag7jus6
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TracieBreaux
@traciebreaux.bsky.social
· Nov 29
I told my husband he was making too many desserts and he said “I’m willing to whisk it all for you” so I stabbed him with a fork
Reposted by TracieBreaux
If cows wore jewelry I’m guessing that it’s safe to assume it would be a moo’ed ring.
November 13, 2025 at 1:08 AM
If cows wore jewelry I’m guessing that it’s safe to assume it would be a moo’ed ring.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
waiter: any allergies the chef should be made aware of?
me: well, in the fall, I get a dry cough and every spring my eyes feel itchy, watery, and—you’re not writing any of this down.
waiter: get out.
me: well, in the fall, I get a dry cough and every spring my eyes feel itchy, watery, and—you’re not writing any of this down.
waiter: get out.
November 8, 2025 at 9:19 PM
waiter: any allergies the chef should be made aware of?
me: well, in the fall, I get a dry cough and every spring my eyes feel itchy, watery, and—you’re not writing any of this down.
waiter: get out.
me: well, in the fall, I get a dry cough and every spring my eyes feel itchy, watery, and—you’re not writing any of this down.
waiter: get out.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
The easiest way to get rich is to hyphenate your last name.
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
November 8, 2025 at 8:51 PM
The easiest way to get rich is to hyphenate your last name.
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
Reposted by TracieBreaux
ME: Whatcha doin?
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
ME: Whatcha doin?
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
I've been changing my avi one pixel at a time for 2 years
November 8, 2025 at 8:49 PM
I've been changing my avi one pixel at a time for 2 years
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Cake’s 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 is my favorite song about online relationships.
November 6, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Cake’s 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 is my favorite song about online relationships.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
GIRLFRIEND: I'm sorry but I need to break up with you.
ME: Is it because I do a pterodactyl screech every time I see a baby?
HER: Yes. Yes it is.
ME: Is it because I do a pterodactyl screech every time I see a baby?
HER: Yes. Yes it is.
November 5, 2025 at 4:22 PM
GIRLFRIEND: I'm sorry but I need to break up with you.
ME: Is it because I do a pterodactyl screech every time I see a baby?
HER: Yes. Yes it is.
ME: Is it because I do a pterodactyl screech every time I see a baby?
HER: Yes. Yes it is.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Thursday, 4:01pm
"Still there."
"Yep."
"Looks blue."
"It certainly does."
"Wet too."
"Totally."
"See you next week?"
“Count on it."
"Still there."
"Yep."
"Looks blue."
"It certainly does."
"Wet too."
"Totally."
"See you next week?"
“Count on it."
November 6, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Thursday, 4:01pm
"Still there."
"Yep."
"Looks blue."
"It certainly does."
"Wet too."
"Totally."
"See you next week?"
“Count on it."
"Still there."
"Yep."
"Looks blue."
"It certainly does."
"Wet too."
"Totally."
"See you next week?"
“Count on it."
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Later on, Terry would feel a slight pang of guilt over the fleeting seconds she'd spent thinking about all the things she could do with a spare bedroom, before grabbing the kid's leg.
November 5, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Later on, Terry would feel a slight pang of guilt over the fleeting seconds she'd spent thinking about all the things she could do with a spare bedroom, before grabbing the kid's leg.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Most potential pet owners consider things like breeding, size, coat, intelligence, trainability, and temperament. Often overlooked is the crucially important element of aerodynamics, which can greatly affect your gas mileage, raising the overall cost of ownership significantly.
November 6, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Most potential pet owners consider things like breeding, size, coat, intelligence, trainability, and temperament. Often overlooked is the crucially important element of aerodynamics, which can greatly affect your gas mileage, raising the overall cost of ownership significantly.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
the free sample lady must have called them when i wouldn’t leave
November 6, 2025 at 4:45 PM
the free sample lady must have called them when i wouldn’t leave
Reposted by TracieBreaux
You're officially old when she sends you a nude selfie and all you're interested in is what kind of pizza in the box behind her.
November 6, 2025 at 1:38 PM
You're officially old when she sends you a nude selfie and all you're interested in is what kind of pizza in the box behind her.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
If I ever offer you ham and eggs for breakfast, just know that what you’ll actually be getting is a handful of uncooked oatmeal and a glass of hot water.
November 6, 2025 at 4:10 AM
If I ever offer you ham and eggs for breakfast, just know that what you’ll actually be getting is a handful of uncooked oatmeal and a glass of hot water.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
i think a funny thing to ask a guy named charles when he's barfing is WHATS UP CHUCK and also another funny thing is
November 4, 2025 at 1:32 AM
i think a funny thing to ask a guy named charles when he's barfing is WHATS UP CHUCK and also another funny thing is
Reposted by TracieBreaux
You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.
November 6, 2025 at 3:25 AM
You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Reposted by TracieBreaux
"I'll always make time for you, girl."
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
November 6, 2025 at 1:30 PM
"I'll always make time for you, girl."
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Look, I compost and recycle and try to avoid eating piping plovers but I draw the line when it comes to the aerosolized assurance that only my Aqua Net hairspray can provide
November 6, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Look, I compost and recycle and try to avoid eating piping plovers but I draw the line when it comes to the aerosolized assurance that only my Aqua Net hairspray can provide
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Calm down hardware store I don’t need to walk through an Enchanted Christmas Wonderland to get to the socket wrenches
November 6, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Calm down hardware store I don’t need to walk through an Enchanted Christmas Wonderland to get to the socket wrenches
Reposted by TracieBreaux
rad as hell that the bsky fuckin sucks & we’re all just posting to the void again
November 4, 2025 at 10:13 PM
rad as hell that the bsky fuckin sucks & we’re all just posting to the void again
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Dancing on the edge during Beaver Moon🎶
November 6, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Dancing on the edge during Beaver Moon🎶
Reposted by TracieBreaux
One of my favorite moves that people do is when they’re walking away from someone they know and they’re smiling and kind of wave goodbye and also move their hand & arm down like stop you’re too funny.
November 5, 2025 at 8:41 PM
One of my favorite moves that people do is when they’re walking away from someone they know and they’re smiling and kind of wave goodbye and also move their hand & arm down like stop you’re too funny.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
i wanna take this relationship to the next level. food court is upstairs, tell me now if what we have is real.
November 6, 2025 at 1:37 PM
i wanna take this relationship to the next level. food court is upstairs, tell me now if what we have is real.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
I just read that this full moon will bring tons of money to Pisces, so yeah, my time has come.
Totally unrelated, I’m not a Pisces. But I read it, so it counts.
Totally unrelated, I’m not a Pisces. But I read it, so it counts.
November 6, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I just read that this full moon will bring tons of money to Pisces, so yeah, my time has come.
Totally unrelated, I’m not a Pisces. But I read it, so it counts.
Totally unrelated, I’m not a Pisces. But I read it, so it counts.
Reposted by TracieBreaux
Someone on the old site once posted ‘have you ever owned a vinyl record?’ and instead of replying I withdrew to my horseless carriage and drove to the dry goods store to purchase a box of powdered milk
November 6, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Someone on the old site once posted ‘have you ever owned a vinyl record?’ and instead of replying I withdrew to my horseless carriage and drove to the dry goods store to purchase a box of powdered milk