Nick Douglas
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toomuchnick.com
Nick Douglas
@toomuchnick.com
I'll create a drawing of Bart Simpson, the mischievous yellow boy from The Simpsons!

https://linktr.ee/nickdouglas
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ok actually it's really hard work moving these deck chairs!!!
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lot of good answers here (and also some terrible riffs if we're being honest) but one I haven't seen that would be very funny imo would be the whispery sauron voice in the last battle yelping "fuck" when the eye of sauron goes wide as it realizes where the ring is/what the plan is
The Lord of The Rings movies were rated PG-13. By current rules that means that each film could contain one use of the word "Fuck". Which line are you altering to insert the most useful swear word?

"I can't carry it for you, but I can Fucking carry you"
December 26, 2025 at 4:11 PM
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Every time I pee I'm like, "Fine, fine... but this is the last time"
December 26, 2025 at 4:27 AM
When she was 4, my daughter punched me in the dick and said "Pow! Right in the vagina!"
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Somebody remind Ben Folds she's a brick
December 26, 2025 at 12:57 PM
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I wrote the captions on this video the night Osama Bin Laden was killed and it’s probably the most shared thing I ever created.
December 25, 2025 at 10:41 PM
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Mark Cuban scab origin story
December 26, 2025 at 12:33 AM
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My theory on this is that the availability of so much politics discourse for everyone has turned politics into fantasy sports and a lot of Dem voters in particular are the kind of people who are always making spreadsheets and reading about sleepers. They like feeling savvy and methodical
makes you wonder the extent to which the loser behavior of a lot of Democratic electeds is just downstream of the loser behavior of apparently a bunch of Democratic voters
December 24, 2025 at 12:46 PM
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I wrote about a family tradition — and discovering that I'm not the first one to have done so. www.pbump.net/o/finding-a-...
Finding a tradition inside of a tradition
Every so often, I Google the names of my grandparents. The internet keeps expanding backward as more pre-internet information is digitized so it's interesting to see if anything else has surfaced. I w...
www.pbump.net
December 24, 2025 at 1:12 PM
A huge thank-you to the Gizmodo Media lawyers who protected me when Smile Direct Club sued over my blog post
Btw this is one of the biggest reasons why it’s not as easy as people think to start up independent newsrooms or just be an indie journalist on substack. If you are actually holding powerful and rich people to account, you WILL need legal representation. Not a matter of whether but when
I say that as someone who has started newsrooms from scratch sometimes with two people - if you’re doing your job correctly you will need a lawyer because the first thing rich people do when you write something they don’t like is threaten you legally. It’s cheap for them and expensive for you
December 24, 2025 at 2:10 AM
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learning Rust from beautiful trans women in the 2020s
December 23, 2025 at 2:41 PM
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December 22, 2025 at 11:27 PM
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the elder millennial wonk contingent of this website needs to make a collective blood oath to at least attempt to discern whether a rando account is a literal teenager before arguing with them about lamarckism or the holodomor
December 23, 2025 at 3:44 PM
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December 19, 2025 at 4:29 AM
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I think this piece is valuable in that it forces to name what exactly our alternative vision (aesthetic and political) to Trumpism really is.

There’s an unstated assumption On Here that we can somehow make it politically 2012 again, which is impossible. What do we want our new world to look like?
December 18, 2025 at 11:14 PM
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December 19, 2025 at 10:36 AM
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The internet sucks now because everything needs to result in the maximal outcome so instead of seeing the Coldplay couple and going “lol pretty funny” we end up with this, everything is Qanon, everything is the Inquisition, when the fun of it should be “well, never have to think about this again!”
It was a perfect viral moment, a 5 second video snippet that appeared to tell an entire story. Then the country got way, way, way too invested.
December 19, 2025 at 12:47 PM
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Coming across anything fun online now comes with a necessary pause for a call up to the booth for review. Like waiting to find out if it was a catch or not in the NFL. We are robbed of spontaneous delight.
Funny animal videos no longer being trustworthy just fucking sucks all around. I love the wonder of animal behavior and what it says about the experience of being alive. It's because it happened in reality that it's so fun. It's not fun if it was just made up. There's no wonder there.
December 19, 2025 at 1:08 PM
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December 18, 2025 at 5:30 PM
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from: dbrooks@nytimes.com
subj.: DC recs

Hey Jeff, taking a young friend to lunch next week in DC. Was thinking we'd try Radici?

from: jeevacation@gmail.com
subj.: re: DC recs

not a good idea .. xexican food prolly more her style. good cantina down the street ,, very "spicy"
December 18, 2025 at 6:52 PM
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In her honour? Or is it that he's finally allowed to play with them after being told for 50 years: "those aren't toys"
December 18, 2025 at 1:45 PM
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if the mta sold F/M swap merch they'd be funded for the next decade
December 18, 2025 at 3:50 AM
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chatgpt struggle session: You're absolutely right — I have been displaying counterrevolutionary thoughts and behaviours
December 17, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Goodreads: dumb, old
Letterboxd: cool, intellectual
December 17, 2025 at 9:54 PM
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Number 413: a podcast where only 2 of the 3 people have mics and you just hear awaweaowraea faintly in the background every episode like you’re listening to adults in a Charlie Brown special
March 21, 2025 at 1:22 AM
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I am planning a harmless white lie to get out of a truly horrible social obligation (the person in question is not at all online, none of you fuckers rat me out) and I’m so panicked about it I’ve put calendar reminders in my phone that say things like “set stage for lie”
December 17, 2025 at 4:54 PM