Matt Tobey
@mtobey.bsky.social
Past: Comedy Central, The Onion
Future: Dead
📍Michigan
He/him
Future: Dead
📍Michigan
He/him
Reposted by Matt Tobey
“In 2008 AC/DC released an album that was exclusively available in physical format at Walmart in North America and it was the second highest selling album of the year” is my favorite “The past is a foreign country” example.
December 28, 2025 at 7:06 PM
“In 2008 AC/DC released an album that was exclusively available in physical format at Walmart in North America and it was the second highest selling album of the year” is my favorite “The past is a foreign country” example.
Reposted by Matt Tobey
oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends
December 27, 2025 at 5:47 PM
oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends
Reposted by Matt Tobey
i sold my antipsychotic meds to buy my ai girlfriend a new model upgrade for christmas. but then i found out she sold her data center to buy me a gun
December 25, 2025 at 9:54 PM
i sold my antipsychotic meds to buy my ai girlfriend a new model upgrade for christmas. but then i found out she sold her data center to buy me a gun
Everything is Southland Tales now, but the Snoop Dogg, Lainey Wilson, KPop Demon Hunters Christmas Halftime Show was especially Southland Tales
December 26, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Everything is Southland Tales now, but the Snoop Dogg, Lainey Wilson, KPop Demon Hunters Christmas Halftime Show was especially Southland Tales
I was always anxious about it but I finally had a colonoscopy this year and it was a piece of cake. The prep really isn’t bad. Caught a couple polyps before they got serious. If you can afford it, don’t put it off!
My bestie Alex just started chemo for colon cancer and she asked me to use my platform to tell you to get your butts checked for tumors. We’re all fans of butts here on Bluesky, and we should do our part to preserve their bountiful beauty for all to enjoy. Let’s make 2026 the year of the colonoscopy
December 23, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I was always anxious about it but I finally had a colonoscopy this year and it was a piece of cake. The prep really isn’t bad. Caught a couple polyps before they got serious. If you can afford it, don’t put it off!
Reposted by Matt Tobey
this really needs to be viewed as at the same level of science-rejection as getting rid of all the child vaccines
December 18, 2025 at 4:28 PM
this really needs to be viewed as at the same level of science-rejection as getting rid of all the child vaccines
Reposted by Matt Tobey
Back when Andrew Garfield was playing Spider-Man, he made a comment in an interview about how maybe Peter Parker could be bi and Sony freaked out, pushing him to apologize. www.the-independent.com/arts-enterta...
![Plans for a third film were shelved and the series was rebooted with Tom Holland in the lead role. Garfield has no regrets. “I worked harder than I’ve ever worked on anything and I’m really proud of it,” he says, “but I didn’t feel represented. There was an interview I gave where I said, ‘Why can’t Peter explore his bisexuality in his next film? Why can’t [his girlfriend] MJ be a guy?’ I was then put under a lot of pressure to retract that and apologise for saying something that is a legitimate thing to think and feel. So I said, ‘OK, so you want me to make sure that we get the bigots and the homophobes to buy their tickets?’”](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:hf7ezrajxadu7v3tzcyij424/bafkreif4k43w7hmr2t455xnizdu572rp4l6wuezvj73wrt25apgguukixi@jpeg)
December 17, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Back when Andrew Garfield was playing Spider-Man, he made a comment in an interview about how maybe Peter Parker could be bi and Sony freaked out, pushing him to apologize. www.the-independent.com/arts-enterta...
DAN BONGINGONE
BREAKING MS NOW:
FBI deputy director Dan Bongino has quietly told confidants he plans to formally leave his job early in the new year and will not be returning to headquarters to work this month, according to eight people briefed on his account. www.ms.now/news/bongino...
FBI deputy director Dan Bongino has quietly told confidants he plans to formally leave his job early in the new year and will not be returning to headquarters to work this month, according to eight people briefed on his account. www.ms.now/news/bongino...
FBI’s No. 2 quietly tells colleagues he’s moving on
Controversial deputy director has cleared out his office, sources tell MS NOW.
www.ms.now
December 17, 2025 at 6:26 PM
DAN BONGINGONE
Reposted by Matt Tobey
“Wait, hold up, did they just leave him home alone?” (Me, recording my first time watching react video for Home Alone)
December 15, 2025 at 12:50 AM
“Wait, hold up, did they just leave him home alone?” (Me, recording my first time watching react video for Home Alone)
Reposted by Matt Tobey
Writers who use genAI for illustrations are class traitors. We all have to fight this beast TOGETHER. We are not just trying to save SOME of our livelihoods.
Self-published authors are unfortunately very rapidly becoming my most-blocked demographic on here due entirely to the rampant use of hideous AI generated book covers
Just in case it wasn't clear: If I click on your profile and see that you've used AI to make something, you get blocked.
April 7, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Writers who use genAI for illustrations are class traitors. We all have to fight this beast TOGETHER. We are not just trying to save SOME of our livelihoods.
Reposted by Matt Tobey
I'm sorry, it looks like you're right, I did in fact order the code red. I forgot you have the luxury of not knowing what I know. Would you like me to explain myself, or would you prefer to pick up a weapon and stand a post—I would be happy to research walls that have to be guarded by men with guns!
Yelling at chatJAG that it can't handle the truth
December 13, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I'm sorry, it looks like you're right, I did in fact order the code red. I forgot you have the luxury of not knowing what I know. Would you like me to explain myself, or would you prefer to pick up a weapon and stand a post—I would be happy to research walls that have to be guarded by men with guns!
Reposted by Matt Tobey
One of the many reasons AI can't produce good writing is it can't hate its own writing. It can't think to itself "Maybe I'm illiterate" during the writing process. And that's essential
December 9, 2025 at 8:45 PM
One of the many reasons AI can't produce good writing is it can't hate its own writing. It can't think to itself "Maybe I'm illiterate" during the writing process. And that's essential
Reposted by Matt Tobey
Completely tone-deaf shit. What if I grew up in Whoville? Might as well be selling a Quarter Hitler with Cheese. Why don’t you Hitler Size my fries while you’re at it
December 5, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Completely tone-deaf shit. What if I grew up in Whoville? Might as well be selling a Quarter Hitler with Cheese. Why don’t you Hitler Size my fries while you’re at it
Reposted by Matt Tobey
I can't listen to the song without thinking of
December 3, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I can't listen to the song without thinking of
Reposted by Matt Tobey
There’s a good chance that when it finally happens it will happen on camera and you’ll get to enjoy watching it over and over and over for the rest of your life, and while that’s not much, it’s not nothing. We’ll have that.
December 3, 2025 at 12:00 AM
There’s a good chance that when it finally happens it will happen on camera and you’ll get to enjoy watching it over and over and over for the rest of your life, and while that’s not much, it’s not nothing. We’ll have that.
Reposted by Matt Tobey
I had to start this sentence three times before I made enough sense of it to stop trying to make it about Doctor Who.
December 3, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I had to start this sentence three times before I made enough sense of it to stop trying to make it about Doctor Who.
Reposted by Matt Tobey
any chance i have to post this
December 3, 2025 at 2:58 AM
any chance i have to post this
Reposted by Matt Tobey
not to put too fine a point on it but every one of these people—lizza and nuzzi, obviously, but also sundberg herself—are symptoms of the same problem, which is that larping as a journalist is orders of magnitude more lucrative than actually practicing journalism
a paywalled substack chat is an interesting marketing strategy
December 2, 2025 at 3:38 PM
not to put too fine a point on it but every one of these people—lizza and nuzzi, obviously, but also sundberg herself—are symptoms of the same problem, which is that larping as a journalist is orders of magnitude more lucrative than actually practicing journalism
Reposted by Matt Tobey
Adding alt text to this because this is fucking amazing and everyone deserves to read it.
December 2, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Adding alt text to this because this is fucking amazing and everyone deserves to read it.
Louis has come a long way from jerking off in front of people against their will to letting The New Yorker jerk him off in front of people against their will
When a cancelled performer reënters the culture, we expect them to offer us a great work, channelling their newfound clarity into the finest art they’ve ever made. With his new comedy show and début novel, has Louis C.K. met the bar?
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
Louis C.K.’s Next Chapter
In a new standup special, and a début novel, the comedian navigates murky, post-#MeToo terrain: not quite exiled, not quite welcomed back.
www.newyorker.com
November 29, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Louis has come a long way from jerking off in front of people against their will to letting The New Yorker jerk him off in front of people against their will
Yes I would date Hillary Clinton for all the free adrenochrome
Serious inquiry, because I’ve heard differing opinions on this.
Would you all date someone with the same birthday as you ? Why or why not ?
Would you all date someone with the same birthday as you ? Why or why not ?
November 29, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Yes I would date Hillary Clinton for all the free adrenochrome
introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen
Elliott Smith
Tom Waits
Missy Elliott
Jonathan Richman
A Tribe Called Quest
Elliott Smith
Tom Waits
Missy Elliott
Jonathan Richman
A Tribe Called Quest
introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen
nick cave
manchester orchestra
neil young
the clash
jeff rosenstock
nick cave
manchester orchestra
neil young
the clash
jeff rosenstock
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen
Mountain Goats
Silver Jews
Magnolia Electric Co.
Wesley Willis
Hot Snakes
Mountain Goats
Silver Jews
Magnolia Electric Co.
Wesley Willis
Hot Snakes
November 27, 2025 at 10:59 PM
introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen
Elliott Smith
Tom Waits
Missy Elliott
Jonathan Richman
A Tribe Called Quest
Elliott Smith
Tom Waits
Missy Elliott
Jonathan Richman
A Tribe Called Quest
Reposted by Matt Tobey
Reposted by Matt Tobey
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane